Hating social media

Mistyinthesky

Hello everyone,

I am the only one in my group of friends living at home while at university. I’ve been trying to meet up with them but on the day they met up, I couldn’t go so they said we could meet up in January. Our group is a big group of friends.

I was trying to organise last night on Boxing Day about when to meet just because we are fast approaching new year when we were going to meet in January.

One person made a comment ‘I can come but it would be nice if others could come too’ with a laughing emoji which i didn’t take well. I was annoyed because it was the most liked date on the message so I thought we were all up for meeting. To be fair I think I took this the wrong way.

Then another girl chipped in and was horrible saying it was Boxing Day, it’s really late, people don’t have the time to talk with me right now but maybe in the morning. This really hurt my feelings as it started with ‘not being funny’. She’s done this to my best friend before, and as friends I don’t think we should be allowing a certain time to text. It just feels weird. I don’t care where anyone texts, if they need me I am there and what this girl said hurt my feelings so much so I cried to my mum. I have been nothing but nice to her. What I said came from a place of missing them and it’s like they don’t care about me. No one understands that everyone else has friends all the time but it’s harder for me living at home as I don’t see anyone. I spoke the truth saying that I want to just see at least one person. My best friend text me this morning saying that she was free.

I’m just upset because I don’t like falling out with people and now it’s really awkward, I didn’t mean to upset anyone. I am thinking just to leave it and let it blow over as I don’t want it to be a big deal.

Any advice and support would be really appreciated. This is why I hate social media!

Thank you

Azziman

Hey @Mistyinthesky, thank you for sharing this with us, it can be difficult to talk about these types of situations. I can hear how you're upset with how the interaction has gone but also more generally with making friends.

It's natural to feel that living at home while everyone else is living at university can create a sense of physical and emotional distance, and you're not alone in that feeling as many people do live at home. It's really great to see that you care for your friends and are trying to organise meeting up - trying to coordinate dates isn't always the easiest task especially in a big group of friends!

However, I can understand how the response from the girl about people not having time to talk to you feels a bit harsh and upsetting. You're there for others when they need it, but when you need them to reply so you can organise, you aren't getting that same treatment, and I can hear how that feels unfair. Your feelings are entirely valid in this situation! Since that interaction yesterday, have you had any replies from people about coordinating this?

I think you're right to let things settle, and I'm hoping that you'll still be able to meet up with the friend group like you wanted. But when you do see them next, it's okay to be honest and say that you missed seeing them over the break. Since they all live at uni, it might be that they don't fully appreciate how much it meant to you since they're in a different living situation and can see each other easier. Hopefully they can be more attentive to your emotions going forwards

While that interaction wasn't kind, I'm glad that you did get a message from your best friend that she is free to meet up. So in that sense, you'll be able to see at least one person. It might not be meeting everyone like you hoped, but you've got a best friend who's there for you when you need it, and that's worth its weight in gold.

We're here to support you and listen to you through this

Mistyinthesky

Hi thank you for replying!

The girl who said the comment hasn’t replied since, but my best friend said about meeting up, and another girl seemed to actually want to meet up too. At the moment I’m a bit to upset to go on the group chat anymore and I don’t think I will be texting on there for quite a while as it’s put me off meeting them really. I appreciate those who have made an effort however to smooth things over.

Thank you for all your help.