I don’t like this 😣

Rose113

I don’t even know what to say anymore I feel like everyone is annoyed at me and that nobody needs me like I know no one needed me before but I feel like even worse they don’t need me like they’d be better off without me

Like it would be better for everyone if I just stopped responding to people or if I just shut myself away for all of 2025

I’m trying to sleep but every time I close my eyes I just see one thing, a bad thing that I can’t share.

I forced myself to not regress earlier which worked so great…not. I got stuck in this like weird trance or smth it was weird like I could tell everything was going on around me but I was just…stuck??

Everything is just weird and wrong at home and I don’t like it I don’t like this change. At my grandma and grandads house my grandad now sits where my grandma used to sit and we took the dogs round today to see him and my grandma used to be the one to feed them biscuits but this time it was my grandad…in the same exact seat too.

My aunt asks me daily how I’m holding up but I just smile and say I’m fine 🙂 but am I fine? No probably not but I don’t exactly know how I feel at the moment other than numb and have a weird fuzzy feeling in me

Today is the day before Christmas Eve and it’s come around so fast…too fast and I don’t want Christmas it’s gonna be so bleh. Christmas Day we are going to my aunt and uncles house and then Boxing Day my grandad is coming for dinner at mine which is new that’s never happened before…

I just miss my grandma so much and I don’t get how they can continue Christmas without her here like it’s not fair she should be with us 💔 I’d do anything for one last hug, one last conversation, one last hand hold with her it’s torture it’s actually fucking torturous

I’m sorry 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭💔💔💔

shannonxg_

@Rose113 this all sounds so difficult for you:( i really do hear how everything feels for you right now - you’re always so good at explaining everything!

i really do understand the feeling that everybody is annoyed at you and nobody needs you - i promise that’s not true, but how you are feeling is totally ok and super valid, but i promise your brain is lying to you when it tells you these things!

i get why you might feel that it would be better if you just stopped responding to people or shut yourself away for 2025 - im so sorry to hear that you feel that this is what is needed:( im sure many others could agree with me when i say this but i definitely would miss seeing you on here if you stopped responding to everyone and shut yourself away! it’s really important though that you do whatever is right for YOU and put yourself first as you’re such an important person🩷

i hear you so much on how you miss your grandma - i can’t even imagine how hard it must being for you adapting to all these changes as it’s definitely not easy! even if you don’t see it right now, you’re so so strong and dealing with everything so amazingly - i really am so so proud of you!

i also just want to say that you have nothing to apologise for, sharing how you are feeling is such a brave thing to do and not something you need to apologise for!

i hope you’re ok and im sending so much love your way - you really are doing so well and im so proud of you🫶🏻