11/12/24- Christmas Support Thread

ella

Hey @Rose113 - Is Emma your support worker at College? Sorry I'm a little out of the loop!

Is there anything specific that's making college difficult for you right now and making you want to drop out?

Rose113

@ella shes safeguarding along with Sarah who is the student mentor.

I’m just finding it hard going cos of my mental health, today has been hell

Maia

kaii wrote: »

Hello everyone!

Christmas doesn't really feel like Christmas this year to me - I felt the same way last year, maybe my feelings about it might change later on in the month, but that's how it feels to me at the moment.

I'm worried about failing my psych exams in January, I find this period especially difficult to get some revision done, I want to rest but at the same time I want to do well in my exams which means revising every day.

As for what I'm looking forward to, I'm excited to have delicious meals with family soon and to just be chilling at home playing on my piano and watching Christmas movies

I hope everyone's doing okay, and keep us updated on how you're feeling

Hey friend

I totally get what you mean about Christmas feeling a bit off this year . Sometimes, the magic of it all doesn’t quite hit the same as it usually does, especially when there’s a lot on your mind. You're right that it might change later in the month (I hope it does!), but it’s okay to feel how you feel right now. ❤️

I hear you on the exam stress - I'm totally in the same boat right now! Trying to find that balance between resting and revising can be so tricky. It's so important that we give ourselves breaks though so that we don't reach burn out. You'll get through it! I find it helpful to break my revision up into small chunks so that it feels manageable and not too overwhelming. I usually give myself a small treat after each chunk too - like a biscuit or something

Christmas dinner, playing piano and watching christmas movies sound like perfect ways to unwind - I'm excited for you!!

Maia

Rose113 wrote: »

@Maia also thank you for replying to my thread
Everything is just nasty and yucky at the moment it’s been a hard day too and Emma kept mentioning talking to mum but I wouldn’t let her

You're so welcome Is Emma mentioning talking to your mum about how you're feeling? I know mum isn't always the most supportive person in your life so that might feel really tricky for you Does Emma know what your relationship is like with mum?

Chloe234

Hey, doing awfully and had a really awful day but it's not Christmas related so I'll wait till later but just wanted to say hi and also sorry again for yesterday @Maia

Rose113

@Maia she said it would be helpful to make her aware but I said it’s not like she has the time to care and she looked at me so sad

eylah

Maia wrote: »

Hey Eylah,

I'm really sorry to hear that you're feeling this way I know birthdays and Christmas can be super hard, especially when you feel like you’ll be alone during those times I can totally hear why you might be feeling scared and lonely about that. I honestly wish I could say something to make it better but I know words probably aren't very helpful for you right now. For what it's worth, someone will always be around on The Mix and you're not going to be alone with these big feelings. Sending you lots of hugs

Have you thought about anything you could do for yourself on Christmas or your birthday, even if it’s just something small to take your mind off things? Maybe a little self-care, a distraction, or something that could bring you some comfort? Do you have a friend you could visit or chat with, or even a plan to treat yourself to something you enjoy? I haven't seen any of your lovely digital art for a while so maybe you could even do some of that if you feel like it?

You deserve to feel supported, especially during this tough time of year. Sending you so much strength right now & always

unfortunately i have noone just myself bc mums in heaven dads abusive so dont rly wanna see him and my sister is with her bf tmr so i have noone to spend my birthday with tmr. i just feel like its gonna go rly bad bc idk i can tell . im already struggling and its not even my birthday until tmr 💔 im thinking abt ice skating idk why i just am i like ice skating but i just know its gonna be so difficult and im feeling a lot of pain rn 💔 thankyou @Maia ❤️

kaii

@AnonymousToe, I hear that coming back home after being in uni for 3 months can be stressful and hectic, it may be quite an overwhelming time since it's the Christmas season. Is there anything that generally helps you adjust to new situations? For example, it could be doing something that distracts you or knowing what will happen in advance.

I'm in the same boat as you regarding the amount of work to do over Christmas, you're not alone with this - one thing I'm telling myself to get through it is to take things one step at a time, and to make a general (not specific) plan of what you'd like to get done over the period. This helps me not get mad at myself for not doing as much work as I wanted, and it allows flexibility as well. I hope this can help. It's definitely important to take breaks during this period though, 3 months of uni is already tough, you deserve a break

ella

Hey @kaii - so nice to have you here this evening<3

Christmas doesn't really feel like Christmas this year to me - I felt the same way last year, maybe my feelings about it might change later on in the month, but that's how it feels to me at the moment.

It's okay to feel like Christmas isn't quite the same this year. Our feelings about holidays definitely can change over time. Perhaps giving yourself some grace and allowing yourself to feel whatever you're feeling, without judgment, might help?

Christmas holds a lot of big feelings for every single one of us depending on a lot of factors and it sounds like you have a lot going on with exams at the moment which is likely why you aren't feeling so festive this year - does this sound right to you? Have you thought about any specific things that might help you feel more festive this year? Perhaps a new Christmas movie you'd like to watch, or a festive recipe you want to try? Small acts of self-care can make a big difference at this time of year!

I'm worried about failing my psych exams in January, I find this period especially difficult to get some revision done, I want to rest but at the same time I want to do well in my exams which means revising every day.

I hear you, this is such a common worry at this time of year (I think it's cruel to put exams so close to christmas!!) It's super important to find a balance between studying and rest, though. Perhaps you could try breaking up your revision into smaller, more manageable chunks? It might also help to reward yourself for completing tasks, like taking a short break or doing something you enjoy- maybe you could even work in a nice coffee shop? It's always nice to be out and about at this time of year.

Maia

I'm good thank you! @TheNightmare

Its totally understandable to be feeling stressed right now buddy. Volunteering placements can definitely offer valuable experience, I've learnt sooo much since volunteering with The Mix ... and I think they could be a good way to gain skills for your future, even if they don’t pay right now. I totally get that the word "volunteering" can bring up some tough feelings, but it feels worth reminding you that it's okay to take small steps toward building experience in a way that works for you. You’ll gain confidence and valuable skills that will help in the long run, for sure! 💛 Plus, volunteering can be really rewarding in other ways too – it gives you the chance to make a difference, connect with others, and feel good about the impact you're making. What type of work do you think you'd be interested in volunteering in? This is only a stepping stone, you deserve to be paid for your efforts and I know you will get there in time

Sometimes family gatherings can be a lottt, especially when there’s tension or if you don’t feel up to all the noise and drama . It’s totally okay if you're not wanting to partake in that this year, If skipping it altogether will make you feel better than there's absolutely no shame in that It’s important to do what’s best for you, and it's okay if Christmas doesn't always go the way you expect.

When I was back home I used to make sure I set boundaries, for example I asked people to not disturb me if I headed upstairs to my bed room - that was my safe space, a place to breathe and reset before I joined the family again. This is totally okay for you to do, too!

eylah

@Chloe234 im sending you so many hugs 🫂 i know today has been rly difficult for you and im always here for you ❤️

Maia

Chloe234 wrote: »

Hey, doing awfully and had a really awful day but it's not Christmas related so I'll wait till later but just wanted to say hi and also sorry again for yesterday @Maia

Hey @Chloe234 , I'm really glad you could find time to join us tonight and i'm really sorry to hear that you're not doing too good

Please, please don't be sorry. You did nothing wrong! I was just thinking and hoping that you were doing okay

eylah

im sending every one of you hugs from my bottom of my heart bc this time of year is rly hard for most ppl and im always here for everyone of you bc i know how it feels to find decemeber/ christmas hard. im here for you all ❤️

Chloe234

@eylah

thankyou

eylah

Chloe234 wrote: »

@eylah

thankyou

ill reply now on your thread sry its taking me a while ❤️

Chloe234

@Maia college contacted dad sooo not really but I won't go into it thanks tho I just feel bad still

Maia

Well that is quite sad @Rose113

Your mum should be making time to ensure that you're feeling cared for and loved. You deserve that

How are you feeling after chatting with Emma about it all?

ella

Hey, doing awfully and had a really awful day but it's not Christmas related so I'll wait till later but just wanted to say hi

@Chloe234 Hey Chloe, so nice to see you this evening and I am really sorry you had such a rubbish day, sending you hugs and strength. Thank you for honouring the theme to tonight's support thread and I really do hope Support Chat is helpful for you tonight. We have a full team of mods tonight so I'm sure it will be a good chat.

If you want to vent on the discussion boards, please feel free and we'll get back to you as soon as we can. You've got this buddy- we're all here to listen and support you

Rose113

@Maia im used to her not caring I grew up with that from everyone

I don’t know still feel so crappy, Emma has never seen me cry till today so she’s really worried and then told Sarah to keep an eye on me

TheNightmare

Maia wrote: »

I'm good thank you! @TheNightmare

Its totally understandable to be feeling stressed right now buddy. Volunteering placements can definitely offer valuable experience, I've learnt sooo much since volunteering with The Mix ... and I think they could be a good way to gain skills for your future, even if they don’t pay right now. I totally get that the word "volunteering" can bring up some tough feelings, but it feels worth reminding you that it's okay to take small steps toward building experience in a way that works for you. You’ll gain confidence and valuable skills that will help in the long run, for sure! 💛 Plus, volunteering can be really rewarding in other ways too – it gives you the chance to make a difference, connect with others, and feel good about the impact you're making. What type of work do you think you'd be interested in volunteering in? This is only a stepping stone, you deserve to be paid for your efforts and I know you will get there in time

Sometimes family gatherings can be a lottt, especially when there’s tension or if you don’t feel up to all the noise and drama . It’s totally okay if you're not wanting to partake in that this year, If skipping it altogether will make you feel better than there's absolutely no shame in that It’s important to do what’s best for you, and it's okay if Christmas doesn't always go the way you expect.

When I was back home I used to make sure I set boundaries, for example I asked people to not disturb me if I headed upstairs to my bed room - that was my safe space, a place to breathe and reset before I joined the family again. This is totally okay for you to do, too!

@Maia good to hear you're good.

I would be doing another type of volunteering like in a shop more towards work this will probably be helpful for you on your CV though but you probably do it to help young people while ill ve doing it for work experiance. I dont mind sharing what it will be it will just be like a shop. Im hoping if I did do it I'll be like doing it short term no longer than a few months.

Yh I find it can be overwhelming sometimes with family all about I prefer less family coz it's all crowded gets loud and argumentative. I might just step out of it this Christmas. At my house my family can follow me to my room to annoy me more its so fustrating. Can I ask as well, I know you said recently you might be moving back to new Zealand does that mean if yiu did you would leave here or would you stick around?

Maia

AnonymousToe wrote: »

I go home from uni this weekend and i dont know how to feel. I’m looking forward to being taken care of but i dont know how I’m going to cope with the hoard after being away from it for nearly 3 months. I also have a ridiculous amount of work to do over Christmas. It’s definitely not gonna be the best time but I’m just looking forward to being able to relax and not having to mask every minute of every day.

This sounds like a mixed bag of feelings @AnonymousToe and i totally understand why you might be feeling this way

I'm a little out of the loop here so I hope you dont mind me asking - when you say " dont know how I’m going to cope with the hoard after being away from it for nearly 3 months" do you mean that your there's a hoarder in your house?

I HATE that uni sets folk so much work to do over christmas, like, give us a break?! It might help to take things step by step and give yourself some grace if things don’t go perfectly. You're doing so well

Maybe it could help to set some boundaries for yourself while you’re home, like carving out some quiet time each day for yourself to recharge, and breaking your work into manageable chunks. Also, if the environment feels overwhelming, try to find small moments of calm, even if that’s just taking a walk, having a cozy moment with a book, or listening to music you love?

We're here for you @AnonymousToe

kaii

Thank you for your response @Maia!

Yeah, I think I'm feeling the way I'm feeling now about Christmas is possibly because I remember having really good memories of Christmas when I was younger. Now that I'm older, I feel like the magic's not there anymore, which is completely normal since life has changed - living as an adult is very different to living as a child. I guess I just kind of miss how it was back then. Christmas these past few years has felt really chill which I definitely appreciate though I guess I'll see how I feel later on in the month! You're completely right in saying that it's okay to feel how I feel, and this is a good reminder for everyone especially during this time where everyone is expected to be happy and to feel the Christmas spirit.

Ahhh yess a reward after doing work is the best thing, and I agree, it's definitely important to take breaks during this period. Thank you for telling me that I'll get through it, and I'll definitely break my revision into smaller chunks!

Thank you so much! I'm very excited to be finishing a piece I'm learning on the piano how do you like to unwind during this period?

Princesslouise02

Hi everyone

eylah

hey @Princesslouise02 how are you today? ❤️

Maia

independent_ wrote: »

heyyy defo not typing with one hand because i'm eating chocolate... a chocolate bomb actually, baso a chocolate egg with marshmallow in... i bloody hate marshmallows but someone bought me them for my birthday.

Hey @independent_ Sorry I missed you come in! That sounds absolutely delicious! I love marshmallows I hope you had a nice birthday

Princesslouise02

Well I’m in the middle really me health axciety is bad so I’m really axcious at the minuite but I’m doing okay apart from that

independent_

@Maia I did thank you, it's just all the stress now because i'm nowhere near finished christmas shopping and my brain is throwing a massive fit atm so i'm going to struggle

Maia

I'm sorry to hear that @eylah The holidays and special occasions like birthdays can bring up so much pain, right? and I’m so sorry you’re going through this alone right now. You deserve so much love and care, especially on your birthday.

Ice skating sounds like a lovely idea Eylah! Are you good at ice skating? It might be difficult, you're right, It's okay if you feel like it's hard to do or if you’re not sure if it will be enjoyable, but giving yourself the chance to do something you like could be a way to be kind to yourself on a tough day. I'm really proud of you!

If you don’t want to go ice skating or it feels too much, maybe you could also treat yourself to something comforting at home? Something that makes you feel a bit better, even if just in a small way. Maybe watching something that makes you smile or working on some art, if that feels good? You're doing amazing

ella

@eylah Ice Skating on your birthday sounds so fun and low pressure. It is also a nice thing to do on your own. I did it last year on one of my days off and treated myself to a hot chocolate afterwards which was really fun and relaxing! Maybe after ice skating you could take yourself out to a nice warm cafe to do something you enjoy- maybe some reading or drawing (which you are so good at!)

It is also totally okay if you'd prefer a day at home. Whatever you choose to do, make sure to take some time for yourself. You deserve it after the year you have had.

I hope this helps with a loose plan for tomorrow?

Maia

Rose113 wrote: »

@Maia im used to her not caring I grew up with that from everyone

I don’t know still feel so crappy, Emma has never seen me cry till today so she’s really worried and then told Sarah to keep an eye on me

This sooo sucks to hear @Rose113 You (or anyone!) should never ever have to feel that way You deserve love, kindness and care and I am so sorry that your mum isn't offering you that right now. Thats on her, not you.

I hear that you still feel crappy, I'm sorry that you do It sounds like Emma and Sarah really care about you and that is so reassuring for us to know.

What do you think could help you feel better right now?