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I hate my life

PetiteQuarkPetiteQuark Posts: 78 Budding Regular
edited November 1 in Health & Wellbeing
Seriously. No control whatsoever. I hate it.
The worst part everything I think, feel and say doesn't matter people don't care.
And omg im 17, turning 18 in spring ugh
Literally I have far less control over my life than others my age, or even younger than me. And most of the people in my life dont even want me to be independent whatsoever they hate that idea
Seriously my problems what I feel what I think isnt considered at all.
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Comments

  • eylaheylah Posts: 4,978 The Mix Elder
    i care abt you and your feelings you matter! im so sry to hear abt everything thats going on rn im here for you ❤️
    keep your face always toward the sunshine and shadows will fall behind you. 🤍
  • PetiteQuarkPetiteQuark Posts: 78 Budding Regular
    eylah wrote: »
    i care abt you and your feelings you matter! im so sry to hear abt everything thats going on rn im here for you ❤️

    Honestly thank you so much but im going to talk to this with my gp bc i was put onto some online therapy which i
    Have no idea how to use and wasnt rlly helping. Im not even sure if it would be right to continue posting stuff like this on themix i feel like im just being negative
  • eylaheylah Posts: 4,978 The Mix Elder
    PetiteQuark wrote: »
    eylah wrote: »
    i care abt you and your feelings you matter! im so sry to hear abt everything thats going on rn im here for you ❤️

    Honestly thank you so much but im going to talk to this with my gp bc i was put onto some online therapy which i
    Have no idea how to use and wasnt rlly helping. Im not even sure if it would be right to continue posting stuff like this on themix i feel like im just being negative
    talking to your gp will be gd bc they might be able to help you ❤️ you can post whatever you feel if in community guidelines bc you deserve a safe place ❤️
    keep your face always toward the sunshine and shadows will fall behind you. 🤍
  • PetiteQuarkPetiteQuark Posts: 78 Budding Regular
    Gosh i feel even more depressed. Seriously hate just existing.
    The only thing that keeps me going is that, according to islam this life isnt important and its the afterlife that is and in heaven you can have anything you want as long as it isn't anything bad. But then it doesnt help me when people tell me that im a horrible person who will rot in hell.
  • Sian321Sian321 Moderator, Staff Posts: 130 The Mix Convert
    edited November 2
    Hey @PetiteQuark , thanks so much for your message. From what you've described, it sounds like you're going through an extremely difficult time right now and feel like you have very little control over your life. I can imagine that's really restrictive, and I hear you saying its making you feel very depressed and detached from the idea of life altogether. That's really, really hard <3 Day-to-day, may I ask what being controlled looks like? Can I check if you feel safe?

    I'm so sorry to hear that people have been telling you you're a horrible person, and saying incredibly harsh things such as 'rot in hell'. No one has a right to talk to you that way. Would you feel comfortable telling us a little bit more about who is saying these things, and how you've been coping so far?

    We're here for you!
  • eylaheylah Posts: 4,978 The Mix Elder
    PetiteQuark wrote: »
    Gosh i feel even more depressed. Seriously hate just existing.
    The only thing that keeps me going is that, according to islam this life isnt important and its the afterlife that is and in heaven you can have anything you want as long as it isn't anything bad. But then it doesnt help me when people tell me that im a horrible person who will rot in hell.

    sry to hear this hru now? you arent a horrible person you are going through a tough time rn but that doesn’t mean your a bad person bc your not! hugs 🤗
    keep your face always toward the sunshine and shadows will fall behind you. 🤍
  • PetiteQuarkPetiteQuark Posts: 78 Budding Regular
    eylah wrote: »
    PetiteQuark wrote: »
    Gosh i feel even more depressed. Seriously hate just existing.
    The only thing that keeps me going is that, according to islam this life isnt important and its the afterlife that is and in heaven you can have anything you want as long as it isn't anything bad. But then it doesnt help me when people tell me that im a horrible person who will rot in hell.

    sry to hear this hru now? you arent a horrible person you are going through a tough time rn but that doesn’t mean your a bad person bc your not! hugs 🤗

    Honestly ngl i just feel alot more pessimistic than usual. Thank you for your kindness I really dont deserve it, I actually am a terrible person.
  • eylaheylah Posts: 4,978 The Mix Elder
    PetiteQuark wrote: »
    eylah wrote: »
    PetiteQuark wrote: »
    Gosh i feel even more depressed. Seriously hate just existing.
    The only thing that keeps me going is that, according to islam this life isnt important and its the afterlife that is and in heaven you can have anything you want as long as it isn't anything bad. But then it doesnt help me when people tell me that im a horrible person who will rot in hell.

    sry to hear this hru now? you arent a horrible person you are going through a tough time rn but that doesn’t mean your a bad person bc your not! hugs 🤗

    Honestly ngl i just feel alot more pessimistic than usual. Thank you for your kindness I really dont deserve it, I actually am a terrible person.

    i hear you like @Sian321 said do you feel safe atm? you do deserve kindness you rly do bc you are going through a tough point atm and you are deserving of help through that. from my perspective you arent a bad person youve done nothing to make you a bad person i hope your feeling little better? im here for you 🫂
    keep your face always toward the sunshine and shadows will fall behind you. 🤍
  • PetiteQuarkPetiteQuark Posts: 78 Budding Regular
    eylah wrote: »
    PetiteQuark wrote: »
    eylah wrote: »
    PetiteQuark wrote: »
    Gosh i feel even more depressed. Seriously hate just existing.
    The only thing that keeps me going is that, according to islam this life isnt important and its the afterlife that is and in heaven you can have anything you want as long as it isn't anything bad. But then it doesnt help me when people tell me that im a horrible person who will rot in hell.

    sry to hear this hru now? you arent a horrible person you are going through a tough time rn but that doesn’t mean your a bad person bc your not! hugs 🤗

    Honestly ngl i just feel alot more pessimistic than usual. Thank you for your kindness I really dont deserve it, I actually am a terrible person.

    i hear you like @Sian321 said do you feel safe atm? you do deserve kindness you rly do bc you are going through a tough point atm and you are deserving of help through that. from my perspective you arent a bad person youve done nothing to make you a bad person i hope your feeling little better? im here for you 🫂

    Im in a safe place but I truly am a bad person I dont have a close relationship with my dad and ive also done other stuff. I'm NOT
    suicidal, because I know its never the answert
    i'm just disenchanted by everything.
  • eylaheylah Posts: 4,978 The Mix Elder
    ok sry didnt mean to upset you.
    keep your face always toward the sunshine and shadows will fall behind you. 🤍
  • Sian321Sian321 Moderator, Staff Posts: 130 The Mix Convert
    Hey @PetiteQuark , thank you for letting us know you're safe right now. That's reassuring to hear <3 but at the same time, I see what you're saying about feeling really disenchanted, and also, how you really do hold the belief right now that you're a bad person. I hear you, and that sounds really heavy too to feel.

    Would it feel helpful to share with us a bit more about when life first began to feel disenchanted for you? I wonder if there was a specific moment where life began to feel more bleak, or maybe it's been a gradual feeling you've been dealing with a long time?

    Thanks so much for trusting us with this, @PetiteQuark , and please do take your time. We're here and want to listen <3
  • PetiteQuarkPetiteQuark Posts: 78 Budding Regular
    eylah wrote: »
    ok sry didnt mean to upset you.

    Sorry im not upset its just everyone keeps on saying im bad and that im always wrong.
  • PetiteQuarkPetiteQuark Posts: 78 Budding Regular
    Sian321 wrote: »
    Hey @PetiteQuark , thank you for letting us know you're safe right now. That's reassuring to hear <3 but at the same time, I see what you're saying about feeling really disenchanted, and also, how you really do hold the belief right now that you're a bad person. I hear you, and that sounds really heavy too to feel.

    Would it feel helpful to share with us a bit more about when life first began to feel disenchanted for you? I wonder if there was a specific moment where life began to feel more bleak, or maybe it's been a gradual feeling you've been dealing with a long time?

    Thanks so much for trusting us with this, @PetiteQuark , and please do take your time. We're here and want to listen <3

    Honestly it all happened when i was in year 11 when life started to *really* feel like it's just not worth it...
  • Lucy_21Lucy_21 Posts: 206 Trailblazer
    I’m sorry you feel this way as I know exactly how you feel and I know how frustrating it is. I also understand where you’re coming from about the life not being worth it because why would you want to live a life you have no say or control in, trust me I know, We all care and are here for you. Pms are always open
  • PetiteQuarkPetiteQuark Posts: 78 Budding Regular
    Lucy_21 wrote: »
    I’m sorry you feel this way as I know exactly how you feel and I know how frustrating it is. I also understand where you’re coming from about the life not being worth it because why would you want to live a life you have no say or control in, trust me I know, We all care and are here for you. Pms are always open

    Thank you for understanding me.
  • Lucy_21Lucy_21 Posts: 206 Trailblazer
    @PetiteQuark you’re welcome
  • PetiteQuarkPetiteQuark Posts: 78 Budding Regular
    Lucy_21 wrote: »
    @PetiteQuark you’re welcome

    Its just exhausting. No control, i do understand i have well, very little things within my control but its not enough.
    I try to keep myself busy with my work but still i feel upset.
  • briannatbriannat Moderator, Staff Posts: 62 Boards Initiate
    Hello there PetiteQuark,

    What you've described sounds so overwhelming to be experiencing. You've mentioned having certain things within your control. Would you like to share what they are ? I can hear that you've been keeping yourself busy with your work, that's pretty positive. I hope that as time goes on you'll find more ways to take control within your own life. Even if it's as small as deciding what to eat for dinner, whether or not to go for a walk, watch a film, or get some exercise in. It can start with little things and eventually become bigger with time. You're doing really well to have already started this process and to keep reaching out to talk about how you feel. Your feelings are welcome here, all of them <3


  • Lucy_21Lucy_21 Posts: 206 Trailblazer
    @PetiteQuark I completely understand why you need more control as it is your life and you have every right to be upset about it. PMs are always open if you need a talk
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