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0 days. tw 😣
![eylah](https://eu.v-cdn.net/6030621/uploads/userpics/TP7166Q3OB8H/nX9BMYHRUT5NG.jpeg)
im back at 0 days for sh im so mad at myself i was doing sort of well now im back at 0. dad is mad at me bc i sh now im having him shout at me i feel like i let everyone down even my dead mum who’s in heaven. i hate myself i hate myself sm i fucking give up with everything. im such a failure 😭😭.im safe. ive tried my best to carry on but its to hard it rly is bc i have noone to turn to
. i don’t trust helplines i rly domt bc they called police on me other day bc i needed to go hospital but im so upset rn bc he is being so horrible i feel unsafe sometimes bc of him but im saf3 rn. idk why im being put through this i dont deserve it
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keep your face always toward the sunshine and shadows will fall behind you. 🤍
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Comments
It’s ok. You’re having a really shit time. You’re doing really well to be getting through it at all 🫂 I can’t believe your dad is like that, it’s really not right. You’re not a failure. No matter what your dad says.
You haven’t let your mum down. I expect this is something she never ever wanted you to experience. You’re allowed to struggle and fall back into bad habits etc when something terrible happens, I think it’s only natural.
You haven’t let us down. You’re so strong. Think of something nice to do for yourself each day. Maybe some digital art? Maybe watch a film? I dont know, just something pleasant that’ll hopefully lift your mood a little. This is quite likely the hardest thing you’ll ever experience so I promise you it’s okay to struggle and for things to go wrong. You don’t deserve this at all 🫂🫂🫂
It’s incredibly hard to deal with your dad being angry on top of everything else, especially when you're already feeling so low. You didn’t let anyone down, including your mum. I'm sure she loved you, and she wouldn’t want you to be so hard on yourself. Grief and pain make everything feel heavier, but I'm sure your mum would want you to be kind to yourself right now, even if that feels impossible.
When you say you sometimes feel unsafe from your dad, can you share a bit more with us on what that looks like? We care about you and your safety.
Is there anything that brings you some comfort, or anyone else you feel you can talk to when your dad is being hurtful? It’s really important that you know you don’t deserve any of the pain you’re going through, and you don’t deserve to be treated badly. You’re worth so much more than that, and none of this is your fault.
Please, be gentle with yourself right now. You’re not a failure for struggling, and your life is worth more than the pain you're feeling in this moment. What’s one thing you could do for yourself right now that feels just a little bit kind?
We're here for you
it's not a failure to be back at day 1 - the recovery process is never really a straight line thing. setbacks happen and that's okay. with everything going on you've been so so strong and you haven't let anyone down
we're still super proud of you and here for you
We are here with you and so proud of you for keep trying, even when you don't want to be here. Glad to hear you have some space from your dad and feeling less stressed as a result!
Are you able to name just one thing which is keeping you here at the moment? We are listening to you
Do you feel comfy sharing more with us about what's been going on for you? From reading some of your other threads, it sounds like there's so much going on right now. We're all here for you through this
We are here for you Eylah
By the way, I absolutely adore your Halloween picture!