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Not wanting to do stuff
TheNightmare
Posts: 2,596 Boards Guru
Im meant to be going to a pub quiz with some mates on the weekend and to a football game next week but I have been feeling like not going. I have been putting off going to the pub since being asked from last year everytime making excuses not to go and not ended up going. I
had the whole of the Euros to go but I said no coming up with excuses everytime, on the final or semi final for England whatever it was planned and then on the day I cancelled. I have been thinking about what I dont want to do these things, it must be my low mood and I need to sort it out. Like you probably all know now I have been struggling for a while now and its affecting me. It's not good letting people down too especially pulling out on the day. It's like I don't I just don't want to go these places, similar feeling to like I didn't want to go to college but it's going to the pub or going united, seeing my mates, it's meant to be a nice day out and instead I put it off like it's a chore. I think I need to sort it out, get out of the house, staying at home all the isn't good for me but I just hesitate. I should have gone pub for the euros atleast for one of the games, even though I wasn't too interested in it, it's for social. I was thinking it's my low mood and stress due to work searching, not working yet etc but when I last went pub a few years ago, back then just before I was putting it off too but I was in college then so I was busier and I struggled then too though.
I don't just not go out at all, I go out on my own, I have been cinema with friends it was months ago though so I'm able to do that but when it comes to pub and football games I'm hesitent to go, like I'm hesitent to go to the football game next week and I have paid for it. I messaged my friends earlier asking if we could leave it and am genuine. I'm thinking like I have been other places like cinema but it's pub and the football games, im hesitent they are both crowded places though so maybe that's part of it like maybe it's a being around loads of people but then again I have a placement in city centre which is busy but that doesn't put me off the placement. I guess the placement is something important though but pub and football games arent. Its the cost too like football matches aren't cheap and going to the pub isn't then not driving so taxis pottentially so its cost and low mood too. Its just like the pub quiz I don't have to get drinks, I can just do the quiz and the football I have paid but I'm still hesitent, it's a waste of money if I don't go. It's stuff like I struggle just washing my car too which I used to enjoy washing my uncles car when I was a kid but I just keep putting off washing my own now.
Does anyone else have anything similar when they struggle to do stuff that they used to enjoy? What shall I do?
had the whole of the Euros to go but I said no coming up with excuses everytime, on the final or semi final for England whatever it was planned and then on the day I cancelled. I have been thinking about what I dont want to do these things, it must be my low mood and I need to sort it out. Like you probably all know now I have been struggling for a while now and its affecting me. It's not good letting people down too especially pulling out on the day. It's like I don't I just don't want to go these places, similar feeling to like I didn't want to go to college but it's going to the pub or going united, seeing my mates, it's meant to be a nice day out and instead I put it off like it's a chore. I think I need to sort it out, get out of the house, staying at home all the isn't good for me but I just hesitate. I should have gone pub for the euros atleast for one of the games, even though I wasn't too interested in it, it's for social. I was thinking it's my low mood and stress due to work searching, not working yet etc but when I last went pub a few years ago, back then just before I was putting it off too but I was in college then so I was busier and I struggled then too though.
I don't just not go out at all, I go out on my own, I have been cinema with friends it was months ago though so I'm able to do that but when it comes to pub and football games I'm hesitent to go, like I'm hesitent to go to the football game next week and I have paid for it. I messaged my friends earlier asking if we could leave it and am genuine. I'm thinking like I have been other places like cinema but it's pub and the football games, im hesitent they are both crowded places though so maybe that's part of it like maybe it's a being around loads of people but then again I have a placement in city centre which is busy but that doesn't put me off the placement. I guess the placement is something important though but pub and football games arent. Its the cost too like football matches aren't cheap and going to the pub isn't then not driving so taxis pottentially so its cost and low mood too. Its just like the pub quiz I don't have to get drinks, I can just do the quiz and the football I have paid but I'm still hesitent, it's a waste of money if I don't go. It's stuff like I struggle just washing my car too which I used to enjoy washing my uncles car when I was a kid but I just keep putting off washing my own now.
Does anyone else have anything similar when they struggle to do stuff that they used to enjoy? What shall I do?
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Comments
I completely understand how you are feeling. If anything, I have been feeling the same for the past few weeks and I dont know what to do. I just do not want to leave my bed and I do not want to go out with anyone anymore. I dont know what i want and what i enjoy anymore. It is sad really, because i used to be such a family and friends person- but it is becoming so raining by the day and I don’t know what to do anymore.
I hope things get easy for you and you eventually manage to feel like you can go out and enjoy things.
@pharmagirl27 I'm not at the point where I don't want to get out of bed but I think it's still similar. I think I used to be a friends person like I used go for drives with my friends cars, arcade, shopping centre, food, pub and I think its been the past few years since after lockdown I have not felt like going then stuff in my life happening I'm often just not in the mood to go. Your situation sounds really tough though, I hope things do improve for you soon and thanks so much for replying to me.
From the sounds of it, those high energy scenarios with the football games may be contributing to some sort of anxiety. Despite working in the city centre, the situation is just different from crowded everyday life vs loud and often emotional environment of a stadium. You may just be changing how you like to spend your time, and what makes you comfortable in a situation.
I think voicing it to your friends may be a good step so they can understand your situation. And definitely going out and occupying your mind with other things. I was once super into the arts but after a while due to pressure from uni and life it became less of a priority, to the point where I questioned whether or not I liked those hobbies anymore. I had a real crisis since it was a big part of my identity. It made me push friends away to focus on solely myself. I think sometimes we have these anxieties that no one will be there for us, but good friends will understand when you need the space for yourself. Starting from nothing can sometimes really help with realigning yourself to what’s important— what hobbies stay and what hobbies you grow out. Even things you grow out of doesn’t mean it’ll be the end, I think understanding that despite not feeling connecting to that thing you can totally come back and pick it up again when you feel like yourself again.
Sometimes it just takes time being away, getting your mind of the situation to make you come out of it better. What you’re doing now, going out and being active will definitely help you, it just takes sometime to understand yourself to feel better.
I hope this helps in some way
Sometimes you reach the point where everything can be a bit much and actually spending time with yourself is what you prefer. Remember that it’s okay not to feel okay. Take this time to really heal and learn from yourself and how you’re feeling.
It may seem like everything is a little confusing but I know you’ll be okay in the end, letting out like this can help with processing these emotions that maybe a little too much to handle.
@Trimina Thanks for your reply, I appreciate it. You’re right about the high-energy environments like football games possibly adding to my anxiety. I hadn’t thought about it that way. I’ll definitely try to be more honest with myself and my friends about how I’m feeling. It’s tough to accept that my interests might have changed, but I need to stop forcing myself into things I don’t enjoy. Your advice really helps, and I’ll take it step by step. Thanks again.
pfp kindly made by the beautiful chloe ❤️
Really appreciate it, you're so so kind
Now im back to uni and I find myself spending time with myself than my uni friends. I don’ know how to overcome it. Considering i used to love spending time with my friends.
@pharmagirl27 thanks so much for replying and hopefully we both overcome this.