i lost my best friend.

eylah

i am dealing with the loss of my best friend who sadly was killed recently. i miss him sm and i am so broken beyond words rn. i didnt know how to cope with the loss of him. i have sm happening rn its unbearable to live like fhis i could open up to him but now hes gone forever. i miss him sm now i have noone to open up to when struggling with my mh. i will be going to his funeral bc his mum is allowing me to go but idk i feel so alone rn im in pieces. . i wish i could protect him but i couldnt bc i didnt want to go to the party with him bc i hate mixing with ppl. i blame myself . i still feel the last hug i gave him ill miss his hugs his laugh his smile and how kind & compassionate he was. . im heartbroken 💔

issie

I'm so sorry to hear you're struggling with this. Losing your best friend is incredibly painful, and it's so understandable you're feeling so broken right now. Please know that it's okay to feel this way and that letting yourself feel what you need to feel is important. Grief is a journey, some days are going to be easier than others, but this community will always be here for you

It's natural to miss him so much, especially when he was the person you could always turn to when you were struggling. The pain of not having him here anymore must feel unbearable, and it's okay to feel lost and alone right now but try to reach out to other people in your life where you feel able. Do you have anybody in your life who might feel like a safe person to talk to about your grief?

It's also really important to remember that this is not your fault. Although it's a natural response, try to remember that we can’t control everything. You couldn’t have known what would happen and your decision not to go to the party doesn’t make you responsible for what happened. Your friend knew you cared about him deeply, and that’s what mattered.

Please do keep us updated on how you're doing @eylah

sinead276

first of all giving you a massive hug @eylah - i can't imagine how hard this must be hitting you since they were your best friend. remember however you are feeling it is completely okay to feel, grief is a personal process and no one else gets to say that how you feel is not valid.

try and remember you are not at fault for this in any way shape or form - you weren't to know what was going to happen. i know its hard, but try not to speculate the millions of 'what ifs' that may be swirling round your mind at the moment.

like issie has said, is there anyone you can reach out to for support or someone to talk to. or perhaps there's things you could do to try and remember all the good times you had with him and the amazing person he was to you.

just know we are all here for you, and remember this grieving process can take as long as you need it to - give yourself the time and space to feel things

eylah

thankyou i just cant help but blame myself bc i just think everything is my fault bc i ge5 told it is. my dad is being nasty abt this bc just how he is but its so frustrating bc im just crying non stop needing a hug but getting fuck all from him.

sinead276

i'm sorry to here your dad isn't being understanding and supportive in the way you need right now. I know it's not the same as a physical hug, but have a big big virtual hug from me.

eylah

thankyou im just sat here missing him so badly. he was there when i was going through the statment with police etc again my ex. now hes gone miss him sm . thankyou again