Don't want to go pub

FordRanger

We were supposed to go several times, and I kept putting it off even though I was free. I felt at some point we lost my friends as we didn't go out much. Then we started arranging to go to the pub again, and I kept putting it off. We went to the cinema recently, and they want to go to the pub again soon. I don't feel like wanting to go fully. I don't know what it is; I don't know if it's just because I am having a bit of a stressful time atm or worried one of the guys might judge me for certain things or something. I don't know if it's just being in a public place or talking to people who I don't know. I go out sometimes anyway, and even with my friends, I went to the cinema. I was a bit hesitant as it got closer to going, but when it comes to the pub, I don't want to go. I become even more hesitant and make up excuses. I just don’t know why I don't want to go.

JustV

I wonder if it would help to analyse some feelings?

For example, when you think about having to go to the pub, how does that feel in your body - is it like a knotted stomach feeling, maybe a fast heart, feeling hot, tense, etc.

And maybe think about whether you have that same feeling when you think about going out to other places or with different people. That might helkp you narrow things down.

Emotions are quite connected to the body and, especially for men, it can be easier to start there when trying to figure out what you're feeling or why you don't want to do something.

I will say: you're not alone, I hate nights out and busy pubs. It's really not my scene at all, but for me personally it's because I don't enjoy the environment. But I remember when I was a bit younger I hated going because I didn't like the bantery, laddy, stressful culture around it all. I've always been more into movies, good food, or being able to have interesting conversations.

FordRanger

JustV wrote: »

I wonder if it would help to analyse some feelings?

For example, when you think about having to go to the pub, how does that feel in your body - is it like a knotted stomach feeling, maybe a fast heart, feeling hot, tense, etc.

And maybe think about whether you have that same feeling when you think about going out to other places or with different people. That might helkp you narrow things down.

Emotions are quite connected to the body and, especially for men, it can be easier to start there when trying to figure out what you're feeling or why you don't want to do something.

I will say: you're not alone, I hate nights out and busy pubs. It's really not my scene at all, but for me personally it's because I don't enjoy the environment. But I remember when I was a bit younger I hated going because I didn't like the bantery, laddy, stressful culture around it all. I've always been more into movies, good food, or being able to have interesting conversations.

@JustV I don't get any of them that you said. I just get more like I just feel like I dont want to go after saying I want to.

I don't dislike nights out like clubbing etc, just don't really get excited about that stuff and not been. I wanted to go pub etc before turning to and went a bit then lost interest just drank at home. Thanks a lot for replying mate.