A ramble 🥲

Rose113

Things are getting better but there also not like I feel better but there's still somet there bugging me which I know what it is but I can't approach that thing. The topic gets brought up and I shut it straight down, it's a bad topic for me.

I'm trying to get better, I'm drawing a lot more and I've been planning my future but deep down there a feeling of not being okay. Ive been walking a lot more. I just got out my relationship and I think I've finally figured out math and where my weaknesses are. I'm getting better at my english too but still not fully their. I've figured out my work placement

I got exciting news about publishing my poems so that's something I'm excited for. I've been looking after myself a bit more too. I have 5 more sessions of my counseling till I move onto next steps I'm trying to deal with my past which I'm half okay with but I'm also dreading it. I'm using helplines less and less and I've been less suicidal, my bad thoughts have decreased a lot too. My self harm is still bad though but atm I've not hurt myself all weekend.

I feel like I'm nearly their considering where my mental health was at 3 years ago. Like this time last year I'd already had helplines calling emergency services on me so the fact that so far that hasn't happened this year is a big improvement.

I don't feel as relient on the mix either like I join the group chats to chill and have fun but like last year I'd join just to vent and stuff. So I am doing better and getting better and I feel like I've come so far in my recovery but yeah there's still that topic that is causing me to not get fully better.

Sorry for the ramble 🥲

amy02

Hey @River thanks for sharing with us. It's so great to hear you're feeling a little better, you absolutely deserve it! Getting out for walks, drawing and counselling sound like such positive steps that should really help in the long run. And getting some poems published sounds so amazing!

Recovery can feel long and slow sometimes and it's definitely not a linear process - it's totally normal to have setbacks or have things that are harder than others to overcome. You should be so proud of yourself for getting to where you are

About the particular thing that's bugging you, perhaps it'll take some more time or different techniques than before to overcome, and that's okay Often it can take coming to terms with it in ourselves before feeling ready to share and take on help. But that shouldn't take away from other progresses you have made

Rose113

Thank you @amy02

Maisy

It's really good to hear how you are doing, especially when things are getting better for you. Though I understand that there can still be difficult things going on that you just can't deal with yet. You'll get there, in your own time

It can be difficult trying to get better. It's always good to take steps to help ourselves, but it can be sometimes be difficult to do this. But it also sounds like the steps you have taken are positive ones- you are drawing more, walking more, got out of a relationship and perhaps as a result, you are feeling a bit better- you are less suicidal and feel like you don't need to use helplines so much. It's also really exciting that you are going to publish your poems too!

Even though there are aspects of your past that you don't feel ready to deal with and you find yourself self-harming, you've made some real progress here. Your counsellor will help you to deal with your struggles at your own pace. And given how far you've come, there is every chance that you will overcome the struggles you can't currently face too.

You weren't rambling at all. It's really good to hear how you are doing and I wish you all the best for the future too

lunarcat522

It's great to hear you feel you're doing better @River

It's so exciting you're getting your poems published! How did you come to do that? You're very talented so it's great you'll be able to share your poems with the world