🟢online relationship red and green flags🔴

ella

With online dating and finding friends online being so common, I wanted to pick your brains!

🔴 Can you think of 2-3 red flags you've noticed when getting to know someone online, whether it's for dating or friendship?

🟢On the flip side, what are 2-3 green flags that make you think "hey, this could be a good connection"?

For me, a red flag might be someone who only talks about themselves and doesn't seem interested in getting to know me.

A green flag, on the other hand, is someone who asks thoughtful questions and seems genuinely interested in what I have to say!

I would love to hear your thoughts on this! What are your red flags and green flags?

Amy22

Hi @ella I find this actually very interesting and useful in a way. I think for me a red flag would someone who seems kind and nice at first but they turn out to be a fake person hiding behind a form of persona to try and entice me into something. I think also someone who isn't really willing to listen or connect in an open minded understanding way because I think having open minded is so important and there is nothing worse than talking to someone with a closed mind personality because I feel like I can't have a proper conversation.

A green flag in my eyes would look like someone's interests being similar to me. I tend to connect to others through my own interests or topics I like. For instance I found that my one online friend was very very similar to me and we just got on very well. i think me being able to connect with someone kind of helps.

Loz

Gosh there's so many red flags for me (I'm gonna pick 3):

1. It's clear they have a motive
2. They ask me what I'm doing or what I look like as a first question (again showing they have no interest in me but other motives)
3. They change personality completely after a few conversations

Green flags:

1. Ask questions about yourself
2. Isn't obsessively messaging with a motive
3. Respects boundaries and doesn't change personality when you mention these

I find online relationships and friendships difficult because you don't know the person in real life. You never know what their real motive is. You can't tell the tone of voice from messages. And you can't make a proper judgment of someone you never have physically met. I've had some very strange people add me on snapchat, or come into my tiktok lives. Some are genuinely nice people don't get me wrong. But I tend to find they more often most have motives that are not okay.

ella

@Amy22 it's great to hear the post resonated with you!

It sounds like you've got a great sense of what works for you in a online relationship. The "fake persona" red flag completely makes sense – authenticity is definitely key when communicating online! And needing someone who's open-minded for deep conversations, that's so important for feeling truly heard and understood.

You're right, finding someone who shares your interests is a great way to build connection- it's amazing how much easier things flow when you have that natural common ground! I am so happy to hear you found a online friend who mirrored your interests- sounds like you found a real gem!💎

Former Member

I've come to realise that I'm so picky and have so many red flags but here are a few
1. When they refuse to ft and show recent pictures of themselves ( from my experience of catfishing this is vital for me)
2. Not engaging in conversation with me
3. Someone who always talks about themselves

Some of my green flags:
1. Respects my me time, doesn't expect me to talk every moment of every day and doesn't get annoyed when I say I'm busy.
2. Is interested in learning about my friends and family, my interests
3. Understands my boundaries, and if they are an issue with some has the ability to be mature and talk about it

Remember not all red and green flags apply to you, what you may like another person may dislike

Hope this helps x