The people I used to look up to - a mini little rant

Amy22

I just had this sudden realisation that the people that I used to look up to including youtubers and some bands have eventually abused their powers and have done wrong and bad horrible things. Like last night I was listening to some songs by a band called Tally Hall and I decided to type their name into Google. The search showed that apparently the lead singer allegedly was doing bad things with younger people including transphoabia. I only discovered this band the other day and now I made myself search up the controversy of the band because I myself am not a great person either for supporting these people. I decided that last night I would delete their songs from my Spotify playlist and unfollow them. The thing is I don't like people doing bad things. It makes me worried that maybe I am my own monster after all because I used to support these people who I no longer don't because of how bad they did. Sorry for the long rant I just needed somewhere to dump my stupid rants and thoughts.

AnonymousToe

I don’t think that makes you a bad person at all - you supported them without knowing what they’d done. Plus the fact that you’ve stopped supporting them now is a really positive thing on your part. You don’t need to feel bad ❤️

Amy22

Thanks @AnonymousToe

Amy22

I did it again today I listened to one of the songs *sigh*

Maisy

I'm sorry to hear that one of your new found bands that you liked listening to has been caught up doing bad things. Unfortunately, some people have their own issues that they take out on others while other people just get caught up in being popular and forget that their fans (who look up to them) helped them to become who they are. This makes it easier for them to exploit their powers, unfortunately.

You didn't know about the bands controversy when you first found them, so I don't think you are a bad person for having liked or supported the band. It's also possible to separate the art from the artist- it's okay to like the songs but not support the band. Either way, you're probably not a monster like you think you are- after all, you made the effort to delete the songs and unfollow the band, even though you didn't know about the controversy when you first found them. If anything, that goes to show how passionate you are about not supporting people who do bad things- which can only be a good thing

Amy22

thank you @Maisy i had a notification on my email for this and i really appreciate it

Amy22

I just found another band I used to love

msi the lead singer Jimmy Urine did bad things too

and had to delete the song I used to like on my spotify again. It's just sad really that the people I like turn out to do bad things. I know I should be separating the art from the artist but still I can't find a proper way of doing this sadly. Is this me purposely doing this or the fact that I am just a bad person really. I just feel like something wrong

Former Member

Hi @Amy22
I know it can be disappointing to find out the music you like is by an artist who may have done things that are wrong and harmful.It's understandable that this could lead to feelings of being part of the problem .A lot of times people separate art from artists, but this isn’t so easy to do nowadays with the internet having a record of all the information on the people who’s art we enjoy. You are not a monster, and the fault of their wrongdoings lies with them-not in you for simply enjoying the music. You're doing so well to get these things off your chest @Amy22. We're all here for you - keep reaching out.

Amy22

Thank you @Sophien I saw your message on my emails today and you are right maybe its not my fault. I feel weird sometimes liking the same songs as others especially as I was reading wattpadd and there was song i got on my playlist which is the same. But its okay to like certain things. I think my brain is trying to trick me again

Amy22

I feel the emoji above seems a bit off really idk

Amy22

whoops why are there grump emojis xd

Former Member

@Amy22 Thanks for replying back glad you can accept it’s okay too like certain things, and it is! I know sometimes when I feel down my brain can find silly things too feel guilty about that otherwise wouldn’t have affected me at all! I Hope you’re feeling a little better now, and we always here for you regardless if you want too talk

Maisy

I noticed that you mentioned that you feel you should try to separate the art from the artist and I just wanted to drop in and let you know that you don't have to do this, if it just doesn't feel right for you. It's okay if you feel you can't do this and instead feel that you have to delete the songs. Do whatever feels right for you. And whatever happens, you aren't a bad person at all

Amy22

Hi @Maisy and @Sophien I just saw your notifications and I want to thank you so much for helping me. I think personally I was having just a silly low moment at that time and often I think about a lot of things and people. I tend to be quite a deep thinker which can often make me feel more anxious and even on edge. I tend to overthink a lot of things. I don't know personally because now I am grown up I am starting to look back on things and feel odd about idk really. I dont know how to best to put it into words really. But honestly thank you so much, I really appreciate it a lot!.

I think I had a similar scenario with

what's going on with JK Rowling at the moment. Because I feel like I can no longer support the Harry Potter franchise after she made those transphobic comments on Twitter now X and it just made think why would someone ruin their good reputation like that at all?. I just feel like some people when they get famous tend to loss their humbleness they used to have

Id thought Id put this in a spoiler just in case that certain scenario or franchise may trigger anyone personally. (Honestly not very good at using the spoiler button at all and tried to do it by hand). But anyways I do still feel like a lot of celebrities abuse their power and it upsets me to think that those were the people that I wanted to meet someday but now looking back I woulden't probably want to because they turned out to either be fake or not geuine people like they said they were. I know certain events can change people but still it's not really an excuse for people to do bad things to others.

Amy22

I just bloody did it again didn't I?. I type in the name of my favourite song

cult of dionysus and the band Orion on reddit have had accusations about them doing bad things.

so I had to remove that liked song from my playlist but I noticed I didn't follow them. Why do all my fav bands end up being horrible or I am being too self-destructive with myself right now?. Sorry fro wasting all of your time here.

Maisy

You're not wasting anyone's time here.

Sorry to hear that another one of your favourite bands ended up being accused of bad things. That must be upsetting to hear. It's not possible to know why this keeps happening. But since this is happening and if you are struggling with it, then it might help to try not to look up bands or songs on the internet, in case you see things that are upsetting. But you're not a bad person for liking this song or the band though

Amy22

Thank you @Maisy I just don't want to look up things all the time because I will know it will become a habit eventually which I don't want or need.

Amy22

and I did it again with the singer Lemon Demon I don't know what is real or fake sometimes idk

lunarcat522

Amy22 wrote: »

Thank you @Maisy I just don't want to look up things all the time because I will know it will become a habit eventually which I don't want or need.

Do you think it's becoming something similar to a compulsion? I've seen some of your posts recently and you seem to have a lot of concerns over morality in your life (e.g. the fan fics) so I'm wondering whether it's something you can relate to?

Amy22

Hey @lunarcat522 apologies for not responding as much on here and this goes to everyone else who has been super supportive (I have been super busy recently with things moreover work and life but honestly apologies though in advance ).

I definitely sometimes feel like certain things I see end up being compulsions for me to do because I suddenly get this sudden urge in my brain to take action. I hate not doing something and I also hate things or actions being unfinished. I don't know how best to explain this but sometimes it does feel like morality is a major concern of mine maybe what my anxiety and OCD is mostly based around. I think maybe it is something I can relate possibly I don't know. I just wanted to ask a question and I don't want this to sound wrong or worded the wrong way. But what do you mean by something I can relate to (is this to do with the fan fic posts or um the compulsions). Sorry just a little confused sorry . Honestly thank you so much for looking out for me on here I really appreciate it

lunarcat522

@Amy22 Yeah sorry I could've worded that better but I was meaning if you could relate to the obsessions and compulsions surrounding morality as you seem to have a similar distress after reading the fan fics you have mentioned, so I was wondering if you thought it applies as it sounds like an area that's protruding a few areas of your life

Obviously I don't want to diagnose but the concern over morality can be common with OCD resulting in behaviours such as checking for reassurance like you have said with the music artists that they are not problematic

It sounds like a cycle where you feel anxious about the morals of what you are doing and then you feel the need for checking and reassurance that brings temporary relief until you are anxious again

Hope that clears it up

Amy22

Thank you so much for clarifying that for me @lunarcat522. Again, apologies as I am not very good at understanding certain things sometimes and it can take me a while to process what I have read. I think you pretty much summed up my experience of it basically.

lunarcat522

@Amy22 Glad I could help clear it up for you!

Amy22

Aw thank you so much @lunarcat522 it's really helpful. Also apologies as well because I am jot the best at reading or understanding certain words or things sometimes xd.