Ex Muslim: desperate loneliness

Former Member

I lost my religion and, simultaneously, my identity. This was when I was younger and it triggered a chain reaction of despair and was a contributing factor to my mental health problems.
I feel like everyone is believing a lie and I feel really lonely. I can’t relate to anyone who was in my peer groups in school as the where nearly all Muslim.
I’m an atheist but I feel like I have to hide behind a mask and I can’t express myself without being superficial.
I feel like an anomaly in my family. People judge me for being sectioned and treat me as a pariah and it’s just upsetting. And I hate the fake people in my family giving me condescending advice when they don’t know my circumstances enough. Is there anyone out there who can relate? I need to talk to someone who knows what it feels like.

JustV

It's a big thing to lose your community like that, @dyoverdx. It sounds like you need to find your (new) people - somewhere you can belong and be unapologetically you.

I can't relate to the ostracisation you're describing, but I did grow up somewhere rural around people I never really felt connected to, and as a result I felt very lonely. It changed as I got older and I met new people, and I found my footing with who I am as a person.

I'm curious what that process was like for you though, if you don't mind me asking. When did you start identifying as atheist, and what triggered it?

Also, you say you hide behind a mask: does that mean people in your life don't know?

For what it's worth, you can be whoever you want to be here.