15th march....

Rose113

The 15th of march marks the 11th aniversary of my name changing to mums last name after she adopted me (that date is different to this one) and i hate it every year, she posts it on facebook and its always "congratulations" yet what the fuck is there to congratulate about

Aoife

You've been really brave to share this with us @River. I'm hearing how difficult this is for you as the date is approaching again and I can imagine it might also bring back some traumatic memories and reminders of your past, is that right?

It sounds like it might be something that's quite hard to talk to her about as she interprets the day a little differently. How would you feel about sharing with her how it makes you feel?

Rose113

@Aife yeah it does it just triggeres the same nightmares and stuff and it'll mean I'll loose a lot of sleep depending if I get to sleep at all

Mum just never understands or tries to she thinks it a great day yet to me it just feels like a stupid day

Aoife

Thanks for sharing more with us @River. It's understandable to hear how you're feeling, it's a lot you've experienced from your childhood, and it makes sense this day would trigger some of those nightmares and feelings. Always remember that it's okay for it to be feeling hard and it's okay to be feeling differently to your mum

We have a helpful article in our website all about trauma anniversaries written by a mental health nurse. There's lots of great tips on how to look after yourself on this day and the lead up to it. You can read it here - https://www.themix.org.uk/mental-health/looking-after-yourself/coping-with-trauma-anniversaries-48858.html - I hope you find the article helpful

Have you done anything to help look after yourself in the past on this day?

Keep reaching out here whenever you need to as well. We're all here to support you through this

Rose113

@Aife thank you no not really it's just a day that I relapse or get suicidal really

Aoife

You've been really brave sharing more with us River

Keep us updated with how you're feeling and I do hope some of the tips in managing trauma anniversaries is helpful for you. Keep going and remember you're doing really well

Does anyone else have experience or advice on how to cope with really difficult trauma anniversaries that might be helpful to share with River?

Loz

Aife wrote: »

Does anyone else have experience or advice on how to cope with really difficult trauma anniversaries that might be helpful to share with River?

Look after yourself and do something you love doing. I struggle with specific dates and find it hard to cope as well on these dates.

I found talking to someone about it, or distracting myself on the day helpful. I had a difficult day in Feb and I went to someone's house and chatted shit for hours and they had no idea of how that day was significant to me but it honestly helped so much.

And remember that day will be over, and that you can get through it.

ebyrne556

I know it’s the 16th now but just wanted to send some hugs ur way and just checkin @River

Rose113

@ebyrne556 thank you, glad yesterday is over