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Revisiting old house

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    AnonymousToeAnonymousToe Posts: 1,019 Wise Owl
    Oh @Siena I'm so sorry. Also I love how the hoarding pictures have been hidden in spoilers in case they’re triggering when that’s stuff you had to see every day. The stairs look so dangerous too.
    The 50p gift card is kind of cool though lol (PS: there’s a photo of someone in the background)
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    SienaSiena Posts: 15,514 Skive's The Limit
    Thank you. Yeah I just find it massively triggering and yesterday I was watching tv and a kid making a wish and I just thought to myself when I was a kid every single birthday I wished for a bath or shower to get clean and I guess I get a bit triggered when I go there but I also feel like younger me would me really
    impressed with myself now.

    I also found old letter from my mums mum sent to her how that she was lovely as a kid but doesn’t know what’s happened to her and that she makes a scene about getting cheques

    And no, no one has been helping me doing it all by myself my sister has seen it once and my older sister don’t want to see it

    I’m sorry if that picture triggered anyone.
    And it’s okay the person in that photo is dead now and no one would recognise it
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
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    SienaSiena Posts: 15,514 Skive's The Limit
    Oh and today I found a lot of pictures of my mum as a kid and yeah really weird because she looks exactly like my sister. Well not weird as yeah is her daughter lol but yeah interesting
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
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    SienaSiena Posts: 15,514 Skive's The Limit
    I’m so weirded out by that list (it’s been deleted now) but it’s so odd the things she wrote on it. I never questioned if she was psychotic or ever was. But yeah definitely mentally ill person wrote that I’m keeping that paper and other things like that I find as I just find that really interesting and confusing and because if she ever takes legal action against me for maybe trespassing then I can show that sort of stuff I be like look she’s mentally ill and never did or has capacity
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
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    SienaSiena Posts: 15,514 Skive's The Limit
    I am also really scared that my dad starts to noticing things changing at the house like if he looks throw a window or notice the bins are being taken out. And someone from his work lives in the same areas a few doors down and I’m scared he will tell my dad about how he see me going there as he knows like we used to live there and my dad would be like wtf. Or he will say that he saw a load of rubbish being collected from the house and then my dad would be like wtf who arranged That and then go striaght to my mum. I don’t mind my dad knowing but I’d rather he didn’t but I can imagine him going straight to mum if he thought someone was living there and then will be all over
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
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    AzzimanAzziman Moderator, Community Champion Posts: 1,870 Extreme Poster
    Hey @Siena, we hear you. It sounds like this experience has been a source of worry for you for a while, because of the amount of work, the memories that it's evoking, and the fear of your mum finding out directly or indirectly. From what you've written, it's clear that this is a lot of pressure and responsibility that's on your shoulders, but I hope that being able to share your experience here (and talking to your sister) helps to provide some outlet for those emotions.

    Please make sure that you're safe while working through this - between issues such as needles, mould and structural concerns, there's quite a few things to be careful. But also, feel free to keep using this space as an outlet and for support - we're here with you through this <3
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    SienaSiena Posts: 15,514 Skive's The Limit
    Thank you. It is extremely overwhelming
    I am finding a lot of the time I’m just standing there staring at it because it’s so overwhelming and I don’t know what to tackle next
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
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    SienaSiena Posts: 15,514 Skive's The Limit
    edited April 23
    Um so a TikTok came up on my fyp of asbestos being dangerous material in construction that was used in older homes and it showed tiles that was black with flecks in them which means have asbestos in them and need professional to remove them because when they break it goes in the air and it’s like loads of these small sharp things that when inhaled can penetrate your lungs and said if have carpet covering them in old house then probably asbestos and I’ve been removing the carpet and underneath is flecked black tiles

    Now I’m kinda freaking out / or wishful thinking that now my lungs suddenly hurt lol obviously that’s probably in my head

    This is the living room I’ve emptied and last took a picture of it the other day and you can kinda see the tiles here is the exact ones on TikTok

    kabmfom8l802.jpeg
    n9l91xk1gbl5.png
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
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    SienaSiena Posts: 15,514 Skive's The Limit
    Rip me
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
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    AnonymousToeAnonymousToe Posts: 1,019 Wise Owl
    I think you’ll be alright if you don’t break or disturb the tiles. Could you get someone in to check things before you do any more in that house?
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    GemmaGemma Community Manager Posts: 605 Incredible Poster
    edited April 24
    Hey @Siena, I think what @AnonymousToe has suggested is a good idea - your local council should be able to offer a service where you can get a surveyor out to look at your home and assess the level of asbestos present. There is actually a page on the government's website which allows you to put your postcode in to see what your council can offer you: https://www.gov.uk/asbestos-in-home

    We'd really recommend calling your local council to let them know about your worries and they should be able to give you some advice on keeping yourself safe and next steps.

    This does sound worrying though @Siena and we wouldn't want you to be in an unsafe position so we'd encourage you not to go back to the house if you're concerned until you've had someone assess things. That's your safest bet. <3
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    SienaSiena Posts: 15,514 Skive's The Limit
    Thank yous

    That link you sent when I type in postcode it only shows up as recycling place for asbestos but to recycle it I would be to take it out which is what makes it more dangerous when disturbed.

    I did some more research about it and could get it tested to be sure but it looks exactly like the times they say it is but it all seems very expensive and I could probably just take them out myself and probably not that dangerous tbf
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
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    AnonymousToeAnonymousToe Posts: 1,019 Wise Owl
    edited April 24
    @Siena just please wear some kind of mask if you’re going near it again, and you should probably wear something over your clothes too
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    GemmaGemma Community Manager Posts: 605 Incredible Poster
    Siena wrote: »
    Thank yous

    That link you sent when I type in postcode it only shows up as recycling place for asbestos but to recycle it I would be to take it out which is what makes it more dangerous when disturbed.

    I did some more research about it and could get it tested to be sure but it looks exactly like the times they say it is but it all seems very expensive and I could probably just take them out myself and probably not that dangerous tbf

    I'd still encourage you to call up your local council and see what they can offer you @Siena. There is some advice here on Shelter's website - they say that if a tenant or homeowner thinks that asbestos may be present in their home, they should contact the environmental health department at the local authority for advice. The local authority should investigate and, if asbestos is detected, take action to ensure that you're not put at risk. <3
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