If you need urgent support, call 999 or go to your nearest A&E. To contact our Crisis Messenger (open 24/7) text THEMIX to 85258.
Read the community guidelines before posting ✨
Update on my situation
TheNightmare
Posts: 2,111 Boards Champion
I made a thread yesterday about my forklift course and I started on Monday. I keep posting and i know im getting really repetitive now and maybe even a bit fustrating or annoying o Im sorry if thats the case. I just thought I'd do a separate discussion about the new situation instead of just posting on the previous one about my situation. So I had a look round in December to for a tour of the place where I was doing my training for more infomation about the course and I started this Monday. Been yesterday (its yesterday now when typing this), it was my 4th day or was meant to be. The course was meant to be 1 more day until today and I was meant to be having my tests but at lunchtime the boss wanted to do extra practice when the other members go to lunch. I stayed behind to do extra practice as he said but I was doing mistakes again the instructor pretty much told me to turn the vehcle off then I knew what he was about to say, he said in a polit way, Im not getting this, he's got to let me go and he actually said he doesn't think its for me which I thought the day before anyway like I just knew it wasn't going well enough then I just had it said then being told to go so I just went home. I think it started thinking in on the way home then at home I just was getting more upset because I now I'm just back to square one and I felt so shit about it. I have been not doing much since finishing college in 2022, I did try a few things that didn't work out, then I started this course and this didn't work out either. I think it's knocked my confidence and might for a bit of time too because I am not going to blame them like its me. I kept doing things wrong, it's not their fault, they have good reviews, the other people on the course were doing fine, it was just me. Maybe they should have let me continue the course and gone from there that its not for me but it could have been a risk of safety even though it was only 1 more day. I have been feeling even more hopeless, down, useless, I have felt like crying and I think im going to continue to some of these emotions for a bit of time like im not going to wake up feeling great again. I just have been feeling like why can't I just get a job and get into work like everyone else like I'm just useless, I just fail at everything and am incapable of everything. I can't do anything right. The problem is all me. I'm just a disappointment, I'll have to tell everyone I failed with this opportunity because a few people did know. I just feel rock bottom in general and compared to everyone I know, even to other people not doing the best right now they are still probably doing better than me, I can't even complete a training course, nevermind a job.
I don't know what to do from here, I need to do something though. People have suggested volunteering several times on here. It might have seemed like I ignore that advice everytime. I have thought about it everytime but the way in my mind I have been seeing it as like a job with all the usual stresses of work without the fun of money then I have been worried about getting stuck in it long term and getting nothing out of it. Also it feels to me that no one else I know has done it, I might be right with it but I might be wrong too like maybe people have done it. In the past I just have been feeling like no one else that I know has to volunteer so why do I have to. I have also had retail jobs suggested to me, which I have previously seen the advantage of over volunteering as its constant money which is minimum pay which isnt too bad imo if living at home as you can save it, by stuff you want, apart from money like I was thinking the advantage of if I did work in retail it doesn't have to be forever like everyone does have to start somewhere. I just still see the disadvantages of working in retail like its obviously not easy money, its hard work like most or all job, you can get sacked, rude customers, strict colleagues / staff, scared being stuck in a retail job. A lot of them disadvantages are reasons that have put me off volunteering too considering all of them advantages without getting paid too. I might need to learn more about volunteering tbf. Also the odd person may have said go back to college too but I feel like I have been there too long and finished with that like im in my 20s now, even though people do go college that age I think I want to get sorted more in the real world somehow now. A lot of my issue is I really wanted to get a job to get income as well as get a routine but I would really like an income where I could save a decent amount whilst living at home and buy nice stuff or doing stuff I like with my own money.
Im not trying to come up with excuses for everything like with getting into work. I do want to do something with my life, I don't want to sit at home all my life but I dont know what is for me and this is what's making me feel so hopeless. I keep repeating that I am hopeless but it's how I have been feeling along with other stuff too. Like I have been feeling like I'm going to be unhappy for the rest of my life now, not going to achieve hopes and dreams. Things haven't gone well so far for me and I keep messing things up it feels like I won't be able to do anything right. Sorry this is long and repetitive or getting fustrating etc, I just am having a bit of a tough time especially atm but I feel like I have covered a lot of how I have been feeling. Any replies will be appreciated.
I don't know what to do from here, I need to do something though. People have suggested volunteering several times on here. It might have seemed like I ignore that advice everytime. I have thought about it everytime but the way in my mind I have been seeing it as like a job with all the usual stresses of work without the fun of money then I have been worried about getting stuck in it long term and getting nothing out of it. Also it feels to me that no one else I know has done it, I might be right with it but I might be wrong too like maybe people have done it. In the past I just have been feeling like no one else that I know has to volunteer so why do I have to. I have also had retail jobs suggested to me, which I have previously seen the advantage of over volunteering as its constant money which is minimum pay which isnt too bad imo if living at home as you can save it, by stuff you want, apart from money like I was thinking the advantage of if I did work in retail it doesn't have to be forever like everyone does have to start somewhere. I just still see the disadvantages of working in retail like its obviously not easy money, its hard work like most or all job, you can get sacked, rude customers, strict colleagues / staff, scared being stuck in a retail job. A lot of them disadvantages are reasons that have put me off volunteering too considering all of them advantages without getting paid too. I might need to learn more about volunteering tbf. Also the odd person may have said go back to college too but I feel like I have been there too long and finished with that like im in my 20s now, even though people do go college that age I think I want to get sorted more in the real world somehow now. A lot of my issue is I really wanted to get a job to get income as well as get a routine but I would really like an income where I could save a decent amount whilst living at home and buy nice stuff or doing stuff I like with my own money.
Im not trying to come up with excuses for everything like with getting into work. I do want to do something with my life, I don't want to sit at home all my life but I dont know what is for me and this is what's making me feel so hopeless. I keep repeating that I am hopeless but it's how I have been feeling along with other stuff too. Like I have been feeling like I'm going to be unhappy for the rest of my life now, not going to achieve hopes and dreams. Things haven't gone well so far for me and I keep messing things up it feels like I won't be able to do anything right. Sorry this is long and repetitive or getting fustrating etc, I just am having a bit of a tough time especially atm but I feel like I have covered a lot of how I have been feeling. Any replies will be appreciated.
2
Comments
I can hear how this setback has been difficult for you. It sounds like you were in a good space in December, with a plan to train up and get a role. So I can understand that not being allowed to complete the training course may have been upsetting. Then again, it sounds like you were finding it difficult, and it's true that some jobs simply aren't a great fit for us. We all have different strengths and weaknesses, and perhaps your strength doesn't lie in this particular career path.
But you know, that's alright. The main thing was that you found something, you made a plan, and you tried it out. You wouldn't have known if this was for you or not if you hadn't. I know the ideal would be to have done well in this, and get a role off the back of it, but not getting that doesn't mean it's a complete write-off. You're not a disappointment or a failure because one plan didn't work out. There are still lessons you can take from this - perhaps it gives you a better idea of the types of role you might not want, the kind of environment you want to work in, the people you want to work with. There are silver linings to these setbacks, and it's a good practice to take those learnings forward. What things did you learn from this training program that might be useful going forwards?
There are other roles that you could look right now. I know that you've mentioned retail, and truth be told, every job will have its pros and cons. As you say, it's a good place to start, and again, you'll still learn a good amount in the role, and you'll earn a regular income too. The longer that you work, and the more variety of roles you have, the more you'll learn about yourself, how you work, and what your preferences are. But perhaps more immediately, you'll have money in the bank that you can start planning for too. There's also no reason you couldn't learn about other career paths while working in a job - it's good for general awareness, but also if you're looking at changing career path. Either way, from these posts and what you've said before, it does sound like getting a job is a higher priority for you over going back into education.
As for volunteering, I'd agree that you might need to do some more looking into it, even just for information. Volunteering is about using your time to provide service, without looking for a personal reward. So yes, you won't be paid, and yes, sometimes it can be hard. But it's very rewarding, you meet some great people, and it's no tie-in - after all, it's voluntary, not mandatory. So if you decide you don't want to continue, you can simply leave - you give the time that you can
I want to end this post by simply saying, well done. Well done for giving the training course a go, and for seeing it through as far as you could. And well done for coming up with a path to how you'll achieve your goal. Plans don't always work out, but even having one can give us a sense of direction and trajectory. So when Plan A doesn't work, we make a Plan B. And I'm sure that you'll be able to come up with one that you're happy with, and that will give you drive again.
We're here to support you all the way
@Azziman thanks for your reply too.
Im slowly getting over it. I was feeling more positive recently not fully but was happier I had an opportunity coming up. I wasn't making as good enough progress on the course, maybe a bit of progress but not enough. I was meant to have my test on Friday just gone too, so they said im no where near that level. Imo they could have maybe still let me carry on, not let me do my test but maybe gave extra training instead. I tried to ask them about that but the guy walked past me saying bye because I wanted to stay and do extra training. I think that was rude too. Liie it wasn't for me really which is fine also I think it was good I tried it anyway.
There are many other roles like similar or totally different yh. Also with retail theres different parts of it like delivery driving which would be on your own mostly away from pottentially avoiding rude colleagues or managers, I think even working in the back of stores which would be away from rude customers like theres diffrent roles. I could have a look at volunteering or retail even if I don't end up doing a few minutes looking won't do any harm. There's advantages for this as you've said.
I think appreciate the kindness too and what you're saying is true. Everyone needs a plan B or even plan C, sometimes even more than that. A few alternatives plans can be good.
How are you feeling about the other roles? As you say, there are lots of other roles which bring different challenges and opportunities. Finding the right strike between challenges and opportunities sounds really helpful for you at the moment. What do you think your next steps be - how would you like this to look for you at the moment? We are here with you
@Laura_tigger82 I appreciate that you're proud of me, it's important to me genuinely. I dont deserve impatience, its bad customer service and also I still don't think they should have finished me early. They should have let me finish the course then suggested plans from there like offered me extra training, maybe asked what I wanted to do, I think I was doing it OK but just needed more time tbh. Yh there is a caring aspect, this makes me suspect they just care about the money.
Im feeling a bit better about other roles just not sure what I want to do. I'm going to have a think but I'm not going to give up. Thanks for the support genuinely though
I know we spoke a bit about it Friday and also your mind can change a lot in a few days especially because it was really raw when we spoke about it. I think the bottom line is that they definitely should have given you more time, and not been so harsh about it all, they should be able to make accommodations if not all people can get it straight away. I think the fact you knew about the course for ages and built it up a lot in your head too, it made it even harder when it didn't work out. You had a lot of hopes for it and hoped it would be the start of a turning point and it's hard to accept that that isn't happening just yet. But I agree with what everyone has said, you tried it and it's another thing you can rule out - there's lots of options out there and in a way that's pretty daunting in itself because where can you even start sometimes. But it also means you can try lots of things and have plan A B... J etc. Proud of you for giving it a go and there's really no shame in not being as successful as you hoped, even all the celebs and influencers you see have had projects that flopped etc even though they have way more money and resources etc. You're really hard on yourself, it's good to have hopes for yourself but not when these expectations end up making it even harder for you to try things. The fear of failure makes it even scarier. You're gonna get there though, we're behind you!
@leyla26 that's no problem at all. I appreciate the responses a lot weather theyre late or early, either way you don't have to reply but you do.
What you're saying is pretty much exactly correct. It was raw on Friday too like literally just the day after, I might talk a bit about my emotions I had this friday if thats ok. Its still only a few days after all this happened but I'm getting over it now. It happened on Thursday early afternoon, I just went home and I think it didn't sink in straight away until a few minutes into the journey home. I think they should have given the extra opportunity for more time but they didn't they kicked me off early. I think was harsh too, first I was blaming myself etc but I realised stuff they did wrong like finishing me early is wrong alone. Plus I'm not sure if I mentioned on Friday they rang my uncle saying I'm on the "spectrum", basically diagnosing me which is absolutely disgusting behaviour from them guys in there, I have had people agree with me. It's extremely rude and invasive. Diagnosing me after barely knowing me, it's shocking and unbelievable. Like can they be anymore rude or invasive?
I did have hopes for this too, I struggled with stuff in the past but thought I'm older now like I'm a grown man like 20s so not like just turned 18 or 19, I'm in my 20s and thought I got this then it flopped so it sucked. It is good I tried it though like, got up, turned up everyday until they obviously kicked me off. There are many other options too that are daunting as well but I will find something for me, I'm not confident fully atm but I think I will. Many people flop several times too yh like celebrities and everything it's about getting up and trying again, not giving up. I think I am hard on myself, I think in the past I might have been more but yh the fear of failure does make it scary that's been part of the reason why I have not done much recently before this and then I flopped this opportunity. I am not going to give up here even though this hasn't gone well. I appreciate you're all behind me it means a lot hearing that truly, without the support from here I think I would have found it harder but I luckily had you to open up to and you were super understanding as always. I also was able to make discussions about it too which I got great support from. Thanks so much for your response, its been helpful as you are always are.