Opening up a bit

FordRanger

Im not happy about with things atm like Im currently out of work and hoping to get back into it. I have felt like a failure at times a lot while not being in work. I prefer not say my age specifically but I'm 20s, Im not 100 pervent confident about myself, I don't feel like I have achieved much yet, like obviously I am not working atm which I feel like is enough to make me a failure because I am not in uni or college or volunteering or anything at the time of typing this but I might be going back to college soon. Also in general I have never had a girlfriend, I didnt do well academicly in school or college. When I was in college I wasn't happy at times so I think that didn't help because I didn't want to get into a job that I didn't like after college thst would put me down and all that. I was feeling demotivated to get into work.

It's hard not being in work like not having motivation to get into work like there is a stigma of unemployed people that they are lazy, they get judged a lot, people dont look at circumstances. Also I sometimes feel a bit guilty being at home during the day like Monday most people get up in the morning to go to work but I dont. We had some builders round the other day, I was just in my room, around the house etc. I worry a lot what the builder was thinking about me because he probably thinks why am I not at work because we had him round multiple times now when I have just been at home. I do want to change like I feel a bit more motivated now because before I wasnt. I just get a bit guilty still and worry what people think also I still not 100 pent confident about get sorted like I still worry what if I don't get sorted or end up doing something I'm not happy with etc. I still have a few worries. I'm hoping I can make a lot of improvements this year.

Past User

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FordRanger

faolan wrote: »

Hey mate,

I get where you're coming from. It must be tough being out of work, especially when it feels like everyone else is moving forward. Life is weird, It's like, you're in your 20s, and society has this checklist: job, college, relationships, and if you're not ticking those boxes, you start questioning yourself but it shouldn’t be that way😕

I totally get what you’re saying about the workers, but honestly, most people are too caught up in their own lives to give it much thought. And sure, you could be doing anything , working from home, doing online education, just happens to be a day off.. anything, so it would be hard for them to judge.

And about not having a girlfriend or struggling academically, mate, everyone's timeline is different. Don’t put too much on yourself. 20’s is still young 😅

The key thing is, you're recognising where you're at and you want to change. That's a big step. You're thinking about college again, which is a solid move. It shows you're not giving up, you're just finding your path. And it's okay to worry about the future, about whether you'll end up in a job you don't like. But you're thinking about these things, which means you won't just settle. You're looking for something that fits you, and that's important.

Just remember, it's not about how fast you go, it's about moving forward, even if it's just small steps. You've got this year to make changes, and it sounds like you're gearing up for it. Just take it one day at a time.

All true bro, atleast I'm trying to improve and all that. Not really a rush either. Thanks for your long reply dude

Azziman

Hey @FordRanger, I hear you loud and clear. It sounds like you're not happy with your situation at the moment, but I want you to know that you're not a failure. There's much more to you as a person than simply the place you're employed, and whether you're seeing someone! As it is, you have plenty of time to get a job and relationship as a young person

The main thing is that you have a goal, and that you work towards it - that's when we feel valued and fulfilled, sometimes even more than achieving the goal itself. I can hear that you want to get back into work. So if you're taking small steps to move towards that goal, then you're doing the right thing. And if you're looking for a relationship, then taking the steps necessary towards that is the right thing to do.

I wouldn't worry so much about what other people think, because the chances are that they're not thinking about you that much on this topic. The best thing to do is focus on yourself and what you can do, because that's the main thing that will help you to move forwards.

It sounds like you want to do better and make improvements this year, and that's good to hear. It's worth sitting down and having a think about where you are, where you want to be, and what actionable steps you can take to get to those goals. And feel free to speak to friends, family, and people on the board for opinions - it doesn't have to be a lonely journey! Peer support is a great motivator and lifeline

leyla26

Hi buddy!, sorry that it took me a few days to get to this. As someone who has spoken to you a lot during a lot of these periods of your life, I can for sure see the growth in you in lots of ways. You’ve become someone more aware of other people and their emotions, someone who sees where he needs to make changes and can come up with different ways to achieve what he wants. You might not have moved forward in the ways society says is”valuable” like money, a job, relationship, moving out etc, but I think you’ve learned a lot and changed parts of yourself that will stay with you a lot longer than any job would. You needed to start finding that motivation again first, a lot of your demotivation comes from fear and worry and too much expectations, so it makes so much sense you’d want to put it all off as much as you could!

Some people just have their firsts a bit later than others, no shame in that, you’ll never fully understand someone else’s circumstances so people should give you some credit!

FordRanger

leyla26 wrote: »

Hi buddy!, sorry that it took me a few days to get to this. As someone who has spoken to you a lot during a lot of these periods of your life, I can for sure see the growth in you in lots of ways. You’ve become someone more aware of other people and their emotions, someone who sees where he needs to make changes and can come up with different ways to achieve what he wants. You might not have moved forward in the ways society says is”valuable” like money, a job, relationship, moving out etc, but I think you’ve learned a lot and changed parts of yourself that will stay with you a lot longer than any job would. You needed to start finding that motivation again first, a lot of your demotivation comes from fear and worry and too much expectations, so it makes so much sense you’d want to put it all off as much as you could!

Some people just have their firsts a bit later than others, no shame in that, you’ll never fully understand someone else’s circumstances so people should give you some credit!

@leyla26 that's not problem, I appreciate you replying.

FordRanger

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