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Reflecting on 2023
JustV
Community Manager Posts: 5,592 Part of The Furniture
swirls brandy glass by the fireplace
So, how was your 2023? What were the general themes for you?
So, how was your 2023? What were the general themes for you?
All behaviour is a need trying to be met.
The truth resists simplicity.
Post edited by JustV on
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igot drunk for the first time
i finally told my sister i self harm (she does too and i never told her because i didnt want her to worry about me but it just slipped out when i was telling a story and we both ended up laughing at how i accidentally told her out of nowhere, it was so funny).
i had my first kiss with my friend (it was a gross kiss) who ended up snitchinf to my parents about my boyfriend being toxic which now that i think about it was really sweet of her because she was worried i was gonna hurt myself but at the time i was mad.
i lost my virginity to a dude who never spoke to me again after that day. my boyfriend thinks he took advantage of me because i was in a really bad mental place but in that guy's defense i hid my struggles pretty bad so he didnt know. but yeah he was a bit of a dick. he just fucked me and then didnt speak to me again.
but yeah i also found my boyfriend which i thiyght was a good thing but now im questioning it. kinda wish we never met.
i also did my exams, passed but achieved the worst grades and became the dissapointm3nt of the family because i didnt get top grades. tbh its my own fault because i barely revised and was lazy.
i had a big hug with this girl who basically ruined my mental health. she was the most toxic person ive ever met but we were best friends for years so it was like a really bittersweet situation but yeah we hugged and she cried hysterically and i did too and it was a weird weird moment. she apologised to me for hurting me and that was the first time she acknowledged she ecer did something wrong snd its just a strange moment ill never forget.
i started at a new school and actually made friends which is something i never thought id be able to do considering i used to have pretty bad social anxiety.
i also stopped seeing my therapist bcs i csnt afford to see her anymore and that has been really tough and i miss her a lot but im proud of myself for how ive navigated through some situations without her.
i could go on forever but i wont because no one asked for me to ramble this much but yeah it was a crazy year and I'm hoping 2024 will be easier.
I think 2023 for me was both tough, challenging and another crazy year in the life of Amy. I just came out of a rough year last year as I dealt with a loved one being very ill in hospital (2022). Therefore I didn't have many expectations for this year because of last year being a bit crap. However, 2023 actually suprised me in so many different ways. i think one big thing for me was mananging to pass my actual second year of my Level 3 Creative media course in TV and film in college. I wasn't expecting to pass and that I would scrape the bare minnimum as usual as there is always someone better with their project than you. I guess I felt relieved in a way I did okay in the end as I wasn't expecting much. The truth is I never to do then again I have expectations but I fail to meet them sometimes.
One thing that did suprise me this year was my tutor who phoned me one when I was at home just after completing my second year. She mentioned that a company called TRC media were looking for people to sign up to their apprenticeship programme. TRC media is a programmne for individuals who may be under represented in the media. Oh and i was also told I had two days before the deadline to hand in my application
Oddly enough though I feel like my ADHD has been worsing which is a pain as I want to start reading again but I don't have the time (trying to balance home life and work life can be exhausting at times). I know I shoulden't be using the ADHD as an excuse and that I should actually be properly reading but I just seem like I can't. I have been trying to use the library more often instead of buying books, (Yes I am offically maybe unofficially on a book ban due to having way too many books and not enough space to keep them all lol). However, when I go to the library I don't just choose 1 and choose so many and never get round to reading them all. I am annoyed at myself for not reading properly. I think next year I will make sure that I actually sit down and have a good proper read like I used to before I got a job, before I had to adult.
Overall, I think 2023 for me has been a bit crazy and amazing, emotional rollercoaster for me and I am excited for what 2024 brings.
congrats on your work placement!! that sounds super cool. and omg about the adhd same! my old therapist (who was also a psychiatrist and a bunch of othrr stuff) basically informally diagnosed me with adhd which i kinda saw coming but omg it has been getting soo much worse, my mum and my bf have both noticed it so i know it's not just in my head lol. which is fucking annoying becaude my to read list is soooo long!! in 2021 i read just over 200 books throughout the whole year. this year I've barely read 3. so i get your pain, hopefully we can both read more in 2024! maybr we could do a little book club thing on the mix where we all read a certain book at the same time and after like a month for example we all just chat about it? idk, just an idea. it would definitely motivate me to read more and it also just sounds super fun!
I actually noted down what went well for me each month - what I was grateful for, what I was proud of. This 2024, I'm going to note down what didn't go well for me each month, so I can somehow embrace the bad events, and contemplate on how to deal with difficult issues - so my future self can thank my past self for what I've learned. I also want to spend a lot of time pondering on what emotions I actually feel at certain moments, so that I can understand and regulate my emotions better.
In the first few months, thoughts of improving myself were endlessly running through my head, every single day - thoughts of how to be less selfish, how to live a life worth living, how to become the person I've always wanted to be.
It has brought me a lot good things:
- I got really good grades
- I had a successful first half of placement despite all the impostor syndrome and challenges
- I got through doing things that scared me (I performed for a debut, and started learning how to drive)
- I spent more time on my hobbies compared to last year - playing the piano, drawing (successfully completed a drawing challenge for a month which still surprises me!), learning languages
- I spent more time working on my wellbeing (journalling and meditation)
- I made time to spend with friends despite my busy schedule
- I made some progress career-wise, although I’m still not sure what I want to be in the future
I slightly wish that I spent more time continuing my French and Japanese learning and attempted to play and learn piano more effectively than my usual method. But after writing this all down, I’m really happy with what I’ve done!
This year also had some challenging experiences:
- I tried my best to open up to someone to prevent any misunderstandings even though I was uncomfortable, and for talking about what I liked and didn’t like from this person
- I also attempted to navigate my feelings after someone asked me out - I hated talking about dating and talking about relationship stuff
This prompted me to improve myself - although this can be considered little to some, it was a massive learning curve for me since I struggle to be direct with people, even in situations where I’m supposed to be. I was really proud of myself after I confronted a friend to prevent misunderstandings, and everything went smoothly, it made me happy that I learned from what happened
The second half of the year went well, though I'm a little upset that I wasn't thinking about self-improvement as much once my placement started in September, like where did all that motivation and energy go? Maybe it was because I was preoccupied with my placement, who knows?
Overall, I’m really proud of 2023, it kinda felt like I went through a bit of character development hahah. Even though my development wasn’t complete this year, I’ll make sure I become an even better person next year
I have no specific goals in mind now that 2024 will be here soon, but I hope I can continue the good habits that I started. Hope 2024 works well in everyone's favour - here's to a prosperous 2024!
For the first few months of the year, I was adapting to life on medication and trying to navigate the stress of nearing the end of my A levels. I felt so much pressure from my teachers to be perfect and so I really overworked myself, but somehow it all worked out because I got the grades everyone was demanding from me in the end. (And I am still beyond exhausted…)
Now I’m on a gap year, which is not really what I’d intended but I’m feeling more hopeful about the future than I used to be, so I suppose there’s that. I had my dose of medication increased a few months ago and that’s been a total mess and I think I’m still adjusting. I’ve got quite far with the process of applying to university, which I find completely unbelievable because last year I could barely even start. I’m not proud of myself though. I know it’s only possible because of the medication, but I’m still happy about it.
It sounds like very little has happened but with school this year has been the most stressful of my life. It wasn’t as bad as 2022 in other ways though, which I am glad about. I haven’t really achieved anything other than finishing school and getting through the year, but that felt impossible this time last year so I’m alright with that.
In 2024 I’m hoping to pick up some of my old hobbies that I lost along the way through school. I’m so bad at managing my time so I just let school work completely consume my life. I want to get back into reading and start journalling again properly - that was something that used to help me but for some reason I kind of stopped doing it this year, and I’m feeling the effects now lol.
This year ahead feels quite daunting because it’ll (hopefully 😂) be the year I start university, and I feel like that’s such a huge and terrifying thing. I have very little independence at the moment as well, and I have a lot to work on with regards to my social anxiety. I’m aiming to work through aspects of that so I’ll be able to manage at uni and take care of myself. (I can’t even use a toaster right now so I’ve got a way to go! 😂) It feels impossible right now but I’m hoping for the best.
Aw thank you so much yeah the work placement is going super well and the environment is quite nice. I work 3 days in the office then two days at home which is quite nice as I get a three day weekend counting the Friday in a way 😂. Writing a letter to your past self is super fun and very nice to read too as you can see how things were back then to now. I was supposed to do something like that in school once. It's something I might consider next year.
Omg same here too 😂 😭 reading is a big passion of mine but right now my brain just wants to not read eventhough I badly want to. I also impulse bought two more books yesterday in the works for reading xd. My tbr read list has just gotten bigger now!. A book club on here would be awesome to do as I know quite a few people on here who enjoy reading so it may be a thought to consider in the new year. We could do a book for each month and then talk about the key themes or something like that?. I might think about this actually
Yes, but you could say that you still have 364 days to get those resolutions going. Stay positive!
Don't worry you still got like the whole of 2024 to complete the things that you want to do. I'm basically echoing what @ChrisM mentioned in a way. Also, don't be too hard on your self with resolutions as sometimes it can be very hard to complete them and I understand how trickey they can be. It's like trying to committ to that goal but sometimes we end up not completing the thing we want to do. This happens to me a lot frequently especially when I set up resolutions and never complete them. Your definitely not on your own with this one as I feel the same for last year, as I was supposed to get back into reading and never did. Hopefully this year you are able to do the things you want to achieve
One of them was ‘no sh’ 😭
Im sorry to hear that 2023 was similar to 2022 for you but with added drama. Hopefully 2024 will start to become a better year for you and for everyone else. Also, turning 16 can be quite a big thing too as well especially as you do get slightly more rights than you did but you are still technically a child in society's eyes until eighteen where like your adult. How are you feeling about turning 16 this year?.
I don't mean this to be disempowering; just that it's easy for us to feel we have more control over things than we do, because we think a lot of this stuff is just sheer motivation. And I think sometimes when we can't achieve our goals with just motivation, it can lead to us feeling crappy about ourselves, when really if willpower was all it took then we'd all meet 100% of our goals.
Be kind to yourself - you're doing your best with what you have.
Hopefully 2024 is better for you ❤️