If you need urgent support, call 999 or go to your nearest A&E. To contact our Crisis Messenger (open 24/7) text THEMIX to 85258.
Read the community guidelines before posting ✨
Need advice
Former Member
Posts: 3 Newbie
Ex got into a car accident recently, she broke up with me months ago. Just wanted to know what’s best to say in the situation.
Bit of context she broke up with me months ago removed me off socials etc but added me back a few months ago now, but didn’t properly reach out just posted stories of things we used to do I believe in an effort for me to reach out to her. We’d spoken at times since but just brief matters etc no lengthy conversations I got feelings from seeing tiktok repost etc it hasn’t been the same. I’ve worked on myself got more active, working harder etc. She has done similar from what I’d seen on stories I didn’t really post as much etc she’d got back with a previous ex from what I’d seen between our breakup any more than that I don’t know. He was toxic before seems it didn’t change as I tried to warn her when he was trying to work his way back in again. I cared a lot about her all related family etc. knowing she was in the accident and type of person I am I’d want to know she was ok even if she did break up with me to work on herself rather than just talking to me. I found out about the incident firstly on tiktok as she made one but it had text on it saying get back with ur ex or crash ur car. As u can imagine this put me between two scenarios is it me or is it the one between. Im sure we’d ended it on decent terms there was a bit of fallout at the end but after wished eachother best etc and had had brief exchanges here and there between now and then nothing bad blood etc. The person I know I am and I was then knows I want to say hope she is ok it wouldn’t sit right with me not saying anything. Just not sure how I’d word it lol
Bit of context she broke up with me months ago removed me off socials etc but added me back a few months ago now, but didn’t properly reach out just posted stories of things we used to do I believe in an effort for me to reach out to her. We’d spoken at times since but just brief matters etc no lengthy conversations I got feelings from seeing tiktok repost etc it hasn’t been the same. I’ve worked on myself got more active, working harder etc. She has done similar from what I’d seen on stories I didn’t really post as much etc she’d got back with a previous ex from what I’d seen between our breakup any more than that I don’t know. He was toxic before seems it didn’t change as I tried to warn her when he was trying to work his way back in again. I cared a lot about her all related family etc. knowing she was in the accident and type of person I am I’d want to know she was ok even if she did break up with me to work on herself rather than just talking to me. I found out about the incident firstly on tiktok as she made one but it had text on it saying get back with ur ex or crash ur car. As u can imagine this put me between two scenarios is it me or is it the one between. Im sure we’d ended it on decent terms there was a bit of fallout at the end but after wished eachother best etc and had had brief exchanges here and there between now and then nothing bad blood etc. The person I know I am and I was then knows I want to say hope she is ok it wouldn’t sit right with me not saying anything. Just not sure how I’d word it lol
0
Comments
That seems like a tricky situation, it seems to me from how you are explaining it that you really want to get in contact to make sure she is ok and show that you care -- and I think that might be enough of a reason to reach out. Breakups are always hard, even when there's no bad blood people still feel hurt and can react differently to try to get through those hard feelings. I understand it might be difficult to find the right words to say; maybe you could send a simple message saying you just found out and wanted to know how she was doing. Do you think that might be enough?
How are you feeling about her making that tiktok? do you think that might be the reason why you're hesitant to initiate the conversation?
That said, I realise that you mentioned that you caught feelings for her again. This complicates things a bit, particularly if your ex is seeing someone else. If you want to reach out to her, then it's also important to have realistic expectations. Keep in mind that she might not have the same feelings for you that you have for her. There's also a chance she might not respond to you (since you haven't talked properly in a while or if she finds it inappropriate to be talking to you while she is with someone else). But she might respond and this could help put your worries at ease, and maybe even develop a friendship with her.