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My friendship, exercise and death
Past User
Posts: 0 Just got here
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I think how you feel about your friend is natural. Relationships can occupy a lot of our time, and we have to balance that with our existing friendships. However, I can understand that the current situation is making you feel isolated. Ideally, would you like to be spending more time with your friend? And what do you think makes you feel jealous about the relationship? I will say, someone is not superior based on their relationship status. Whether you have a partner, multiple or none, you are still valid and have worth!
I'm sorry to hear about your experience with your brother and your body. Of course, it's a great thing to work out and improve our physical condition, but being critical isn't always appropriate, especially given your concerns about eating and how you feel about your body. If you want to exercise and improve your body, you should do it because you want to, not for anyone else! It's difficult when we feel like we have to turn off our feelings, but you're welcome to share your feelings in this community if you'd like (as you have done!) - we're here to provide that emotional outlet if it's something you find helpful
I can totally understand that talking about inheritance is a sensitive topic - none of us want to think about our parents passing away, because it's a really sad subject. Logically, it's an important subject to talk about for planning purposes, but emotionally, it's really hard to sit through and think about that conversation. You've been heard, loud and clear
It seems like you've got a lot of complicated feelings running through your mind right now, from confronting the fact that your close friend now has a girlfriend, to family comments making you question different aspects of your life. It's no wonder you're left feeling pretty drained and upset. Not being able to / allowed to properly and fully express that upset is also frustrating and unfair because it leaves you feeling like you've done something wrong for actually wanting to process your emotions, which is simply not the case.
Coping with changes in your friendship can be so awful, honestly. It's like you're left trying to consider whether your friend's newfound happiness with his girlfriend is worth the jealousy it leaves you feeling. Of course seeing him feel happy and loved is a very important thing and something that I am sure he values, equally, it is not nice to consider that this may impact your friendship. I wonder, do the two of you have the sort of relationship where you could speak to him about this?
In terms of your family, it feels like there are quite a few things that are triggering off strong (and understandable) emotional reactions, from your brother's unkind comments (even if he is saying it 'out of love' most people do not appreciate being spoken to in this way), to your parents' mentioning of death, it's all quite scary and uncomfortable. I'd say that looking to exercise and change your diet should definitely be about you and what you want, not about him. Not least of all because you deserve to look after your body and mind how you want but also because exercising with others in mind is rarely a solid plan in making a habit out of regular exercise, because the desire to do it is not truly coming from within. I wonder if your brother has gotten stuck on this criticism of you and is not thinking of how speaking to you in this way will affect your emotions and mental health.
Considering the topic your parents brought up is very very tough, it leaves you with this simultaneous scared and empty feeling where you have to consider that the people who have always looked after you will not always be there, which is awful. It's very understandable that it has left you with a pit in your stomach, especially if they didn't approach it in a sensitive way.
Huge hugs from me and please feel free to reply in your own time, if you'd like