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Comments from my dad

Creativeboy23Creativeboy23 Posts: 255 The Mix Regular
edited June 2023 in Health & Wellbeing


Hello.

As I will soon be graduating from university, I went to the tailor to measure my height, and he did not understand me, even when I tried to explain. So, I got an incorrect measurement. I told my mum about the situation, and then she informed my dad. He asked about the situation and said that it is not the tailor's fault if I got the measurements wrong. He did not even let me finish what I was saying. Then, he argued about something with my mum, and suddenly turned on me. I recall him accusing me of blaming him for the situation and saying he was not getting involved. He said the GP surgery has essential things to do, and they will not spend time measuring me. He said he did not know if the nurse can take my height, and she probably would say she could not do that if I called. My mum stepped in to support me, and my dad raised his voice, saying she always defends me. I went to my bedroom upset and overheard him playing the victim, which upset me more. He talked to my mum about other tailors I could go to, brushing how he treated me under the carpet as if it had never happened. He has treated me like this and apologised many times but repeats his behaviour. He was calling me down for wine after the way he spoke to me, which made me angry.


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Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Community Champion Posts: 1,294 Wise Owl
    Hey @Creativeboy23 I hope you're doing ok :) Sorry to hear your dad treated you like that, I don't have the best relationship with either of my parents at the moment and things with them have been really all over the place over the past few years so I understand that it sucks. I know it's easier said than done but try to think of the positives as much as you can! It sounds like your dad does care about you even if he goes back and repeats the same shit. It sounds like he felt bad last night after upsetting you.

    It's also really lovely that your mum stepped in to support you, that's another positive definitely worth focusing on! I don't know what your relationship with her is like but have you tried talking to her about how your dad's behaviour is affecting you? It's become so incredibly clear to me how important honesty is. I mean it's obviously not good to lie but communicating clearly with my mum has, despite being difficult, solved many issues (big and small) so hopefully it can do the same for you or at the very least it would just mean that you have someone to turn to.

    How are you doing today? I hope you're feeling better!
  • Former MemberFormer Member muda muda Posts: 122 The Mix Convert
    @Creativeboy23 If I'm correct, this has probably caused you to feel an emotional rollercoaster (feeling invalidated and demeaned to then comforted (when he apologises) till this is repeated again). It seems that your dad dislikes being in the wrong and refuses to admit so at the moment. I guess his repetitive behaviour displays his lack of seriousness/genuine interest in others and is more interested in maintaining 'a relationship' than 'a healthy relationship' by trying to neutralise the tense atmosphere (e.g., by calling you down for wine).
    If this is the case, your anger is completely justified. Honestly, I feel quite angry myself by reading this as I'm experiencing something similar.
    In your anger, I can also sense a deep frustration if I'm correct. Because he's your dad, perhaps also sadness since he is supposed to be a figure of comfort.
    I'm glad that you have your mum to support you. Though I believe this may not feel like enough as your dad's treatment of you seems to be haunting you, due to your heavy focus on him.
    It will be hard to lift your head in such an environment and it is so incredible that you've managed to stay true to yourself - your feelings- and acknowledge this messy situation. When you feel that you cannot lift your head up, I'm here to help lift your head (even by a bit) and, I believe, so will this community. I got your back! :) It may not feel like it as we're not there physically and I'm aware of the power negativity has on us, since we as humans are inclined to focus on the negative in order to find ways to be free from it. The smallest of joys can, at times, be the most powerful precious feeling and I wish for you to experience this and be reassured that you can experience positive emotions. So here's a big heart <3
    It might not be much. If anything, I'll stand by your side. It's quite difficult to express in words my strong support for you so... here are some more hearts <3<3<3
  • Creativeboy23Creativeboy23 Posts: 255 The Mix Regular

    Hello @Xee and @CaniceQ .

    I have moved on from the situation now, and I am feeling better thanks. However, thanks for both of your support. I really appreciate it.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Community Champion Posts: 1,294 Wise Owl
    @Creativeboy23 I'm glad to hear you're feeling better about it! :)
  • Former MemberFormer Member muda muda Posts: 122 The Mix Convert
    @Creativeboy23 I'm happy to hear that :) If you happen to feel those same emotions again, even if your post is short/long/repetitive, you can always talk to us :)
  • ebyrne556ebyrne556 Moderator Posts: 1,147 Wise Owl
    Hiya @Creativeboy23 Glad to hear ur feeling a bit better about things like @CaniceQ says you can always talk to us if u need 2 <3
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  • Creativeboy23Creativeboy23 Posts: 255 The Mix Regular
    edited June 2023

    Hello @ebyrne556.

    Thanks.
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