Asexuality???

Amy22

Hi I think I might be asexual but not sure. I guess it happened when I was with my boyfriend (I think we are just friends now at the moment). But they really liked the romantic side of the relationship whereas I found like I would be into the romantic side of it but I never felt anything. Like whenever we kissed I never felt anything like it just felt blank to me which I found strange as normally if your in a relationship you would feel the same right?. But I don't know I never felt anything. I guess I always felt odd about the romantic side of relationships but then there are times when I do feel very romantic. I think I'm a bit confused at the moment.

Former Member

Hi Amy, hearing you're a bit confused about you sexuality at the moment. Asexuality can feel a bit complex sometimes as it is seen as a spectrum. Some people are sex repulsed and some are sex favourable or neutral. Some have more or less libido than others. Some are demisexual. Some people are romantic or aromantic or whatever in between regardless on whether they are asexual or not. I think most people prefer some aspects of romance than other aspects and that's okay. But I want you to know that it is okay to feel how you feel, that labels are only there to describe not define. If you feel that asexuality describes you well, then that's okay, and if it doesn't then that's also fine, and most importantly if you're not sure yet, then no worries. You don't have to stick with one label for all your life or even have one at all. Personally, I identified as a-spec for a while as it felt broad before I decided to not identify as anything because at the moment I feel like having a label was unneeded. You may find that having one is a relief. It's whatever you are comfortable with. It's okay to explore who you are because at the end of the day, however you feel, you are still the wonderful you and I see you around here being very kind and caring in this community.

ebyrne556

Hey @Amy22 Agreeing with what @spoon said its ok to not know yet and to allow urself to work it out or even decide that u dont want a label right now. Its more than ok to explore and not have a define. The most importnat thing that matters is that u feel comfortable with yourself and feel happy.We appreciate everyhting u do here and no matter if u feel a sexuality describes you or not we all value u.

Amy22

Thank you so much @ebyrne556 and @Spoon I guess I was thinking about it the other day really.

Laura_tigger82

It's ok to think about it @Amy22. What are your current thoughts and feelings about this?

Amy22

Laura_tigger82 wrote: »

It's ok to think about it @Amy22. What are your current thoughts and feelings about this?

I don't know really I think I was just questioning it at the time as whenever I think of relationships I prefer the friendship side rather than the romantic side of relationships such as 'kissing' or 'sex'. Whenever I kissed my boyfriend I don't know I just felt nothing like there was no fiery buzz or whatever that came after it. It's something that has been on my mind for a bit maybe, I don't know maybe I was just having a silly episode you know.

Former Member

Hi @Amy22 It's completely normal to feel confused or uncertain about your sexual orientation, and it's important to remember that everyone's experiences and feelings are unique. Discovering and understanding your own sexuality can be a journey of self-exploration.

Asexuality is a sexual orientation characterized by a lack of sexual attraction to others. It's possible that you might identify as asexual if you don't experience sexual attraction toward others, even within a romantic relationship. However, it's very important to note that asexuality exists on a spectrum, and individuals may experience varying levels of romantic attraction, as you mentioned.

If you're questioning your sexual orientation, take your time to explore your feelings and learn more about different orientations. You may find it helpful to engage with online communities or resources dedicated to asexuality to gain further insights and hear about others' experiences. Whatever you would like to share, we are here to listen!

Amy22

Thank you so much @Terry8936

Former Member

@Amy22 what a coincidence i was just reading a book about asexuality, where the girl was aromantic and asexual and she was disgusted by like anything to do with romance and stuff, but she wasnt attracted to any gender

Amy22

libbystrawberry wrote: »

@Amy22 what a coincidence i was just reading a book about asexuality, where the girl was aromantic and asexual and she was disgusted by like anything to do with romance and stuff, but she wasnt attracted to any gender

Ah that's interesting actually I'll have to check that book out. I got a book I think by Alice Oesman called 'Loveless' and I think that might be it. I think the reason why I may have been feeling this way was because of my *previous* relationship that I was in as my significant other tended to rush everything when I wasn't ready. For instance, they wanted to take it the next step (i.e sexual stuff) but I wasn't ready and we were only together for like a year and whenever we cuddled or kissed I felt nothing like most people would find that romantic or like I don't know feel some sort of sexual arousal I don't know. But that book does sound good.

Former Member

About 1% of people are asexual. There's not much awareness of it & there's isn't really an asexual community. I've never heard of asexual nightclubs, dating sites etc. Some people don't know or accept that asexuals exist. Many asexuals are wrongly assumed by some other people to be in the closet.

Have you ever been sexually attracted to anyone? if not, you're asexual. Not being attracted to one particular person or enjoying sexual activity with them could be more about incompatibility, attractiveness etc.