Adoption :/

Former Member

I really want to be adopted. and I told that to my social worker but she's saying i don't think that can happen, a social worker is supposed to be there to help me.
But she's not I've tried talking to her today and it didn't end up so well. I don't know what more i can do other than saying over and over again I want to be adopted and the reason why.
I'm terrified of gangs and both of my brothers are in gangs and my step brother is on the run from the police and has been in prison, he's also done some terrible things to me, I have to do this interview to the police when they ask questions and i have to answer them and tell them everything that happened that night.
I'm worrying about that, I'm just stressing out about too many stuff.
Is there any different ways to calm the stress down? And to get someone to listen to you other than repeating it over and over again?
To anyone who is reading this I hope your doing okay and I wish you luck.

Gemma

Hey @Iris_Mizzy, thank you so much for sharing this with us. You are being so brave to open up and reach out for some support from the community.

It sounds like you are going through a lot right now with your brothers and it is totally understandable that this would be a frightening time for you. You mention that your step brother has done some terrible things to you in the past and that you have to do a police interview. It sounds like you are worried about reflecting back on that night with police and answering all their questions. We are here if you'd like to talk more about this.

I completely hear that this could be an intimidating experience. The police should treat you with respect and autonomy, however I can understand why you would be anxious talking about really difficult things that have happened. I am wondering if there is any way the process can be made easier for you, for example, are you allowed to have another person in the room with you to support you?

It sounds really frightening for you that both of your brothers are in gangs. Can I ask if you feel safe at home at the moment? We care about you

You mentioned you want to be adopted but your social worker isn't really helping. I feel for you here, you are doing so well to advocate for yourself. In terms of getting someone to listen to you, you are doing so well by consistently talking with your social worker and sharing your worries and fears. Do you have anyone else in your life, family or friends, who you can talk to about things and who might be able to help?

I just wanted to share the details of some organisations who you can contact in the moment if you are really struggling:

Crisis Messenger (24/7) | text THEMIX to 85258
Samartians (24/7) | call 116 123 | email jo@samaritans.org
Papyrus (2pm-midnight) | call 0800 068 41 41 | text 07786 209 697 | email pat@payrus-uk.org
Supportline (hours vary) | call 01708 765 200
Childline | call 0800 11 11

You are being so brave @Iris_Mizzy and we're really glad to have you as part of the community

Former Member

I am allowed o have another person in the room with me but there not allowed to speak they will have to sit there quietly. Im currently not at home im staying somewhere else, but i do feel safe where im staying because they check who is coming to visit.
I do have everyone around me to listen but the only way to help is to get hold of my social worker, and its very difficult to get hold of her, and if they did which they have done she still didnt listen.

Emma_

@Iris_Mizzy it's good to hear that you feel safe where you are currently, and that the staff are helping you stay safe.

Is there someone you can ask to attend the interview with you? Even if they aren't allowed to speak, sometimes having someone who you know in the room with you can make things feel a little less daunting

I can hear how frustrating it feels to not be able to get a hold of the person who can help, and that they aren't listening to you even when you do speak with them. Are any of the other professionals able to support you to reach out and push for your social workers to listen to your concerns?

Former Member

@Emma_ There is someone that can come to the meeting with me, and they are allowed in the same room. I spoke to loads of people about my concerns and they have been telling my social worker but she doesn't seem to be responding in a positive way.

Laura_tigger82

It is positive to hear someone can go with you to the meeting and be in the same room @Iris_Mizzy. Hopefully, as @Emma_ said, this will at least give you a comfortable presence.

Would you like to talk to us more about how your social worker does not appear to be responding in a positive way?

This sounds really difficult, especially as you have been really brave in trying to speak to loads of people about your concerns. We are listening to you

Former Member

Hey, @Laura_tigger82 My social worker is understanding I keep saying i want this and that then she just comes back to me saying u can have that and this cant happen and asks me again what do u want to happen.

Laura_tigger82

It is really positive to hear your social worker is understanding @Iris_Mizzy and really cares about you and what you want and need. How are you feeling about everything at the moment?

Former Member

Stressed, she's not believing me its just on and off one minute she does then the next doesn't. She needs to make her mind up other than messing with my mind.

Gemma

This sounds really tough @Iris_Mizzy to feel that your social worker is inconsistent in her contact with you.

Can I ask what it is that your social worker isn't believing?

We're here for you .

Former Member

Shes not believing me about ive stopped self harming and that i havent done it for 3 months.