Overthinking again

Amy22

Im overthinking, my mind is ticking too much today. I dont know I think the fact that I feel behind on college coursework is getting me and that I keep comparing myself to other people in my class. I notice how they are nearly done with their edits and films and there's me. The person who is behind who will probably fail this class if I don't work hard enough.

Also, I know this is probably stupid but I also compare myself to others when I play video games as well. I don't know recently I started playing Stardew Valley but I end up going onto Youtube and comparing myself to other peoples farms and characters, I tell my myself that my farm or anything I do is not good enough. I'm slowly turning into the imposter again. I noticed that my character was wearing these clothes and I found out that there was a youtuber who also had the same clothes as my character. I don't know why I feel anxious about this as I know other people can like the same things. I just feel like I am comparing myself to others again and I find to find a way of stopping me from being so self destructive. Its why I never watch any videos on games I like cause of this.

Sorry this sounds like such a stupid rant in the first place, I'm so stupid and silly with my thoughts.

JJLemon18

Hey @Amy22. This is not stupid at all, and you're definitely not stupid either! Its great that you're being brave sharing this with us.

Comparing yourself to others is okay sometimes because it can give you the motivation to try harder and be 'better'. Such could be the case in college, where it can give you the motivation to put more effort into your work to not fall behind. But I believe its most important to look at what you're capable of, be the best that you can be! Because in the end it is your work and not anyone else's.

We are all different in our own ways, but we can also have so much in common. You can like the same movies as somebody else, and someone can like the same clothes as you, and that's okay. With the example of the youtuber. Do you know why you started feeling anxious? What was it about them wearing the same clothes as you that makes you anxious?

Personally I compare myself to others and then try to fit in somehow, and often I just forget to be myself. But other times I'd try so hard to be different that I'd even change my opinions on some things. For example, my brother's favourite colour was always green and nothing else. When playing games (both videogames and board games) he could always choose the colour green, and he would always draw in green, basically everything green. This meant that green was always reserved for him. But only a couple years ago I realised how much I also like the colour green, I just always thought that since he likes green I have to like a different colour, so I never used it. And even though its still not my favourite colour I'm definitely using it more often. (Look at my profile image )
So I understand what you mean.

Sorry I'm not too sure how the clothing system in the game works. But I think you should just approach the situation that yes, you have a similar fashion taste to them, and I think that's something to appreciate, there's nothing wrong with that. However, you are still you, and they are still them. Doesn't matter how similar your taste is, you are still two different people. And you definitely matter as much!

I hope there's at least some advice in this ramble of mine. I'm always here to listen if you want to talk some more. Sending lots of hugs!

Amy22

Thank you so much @JJLemon18 I guess I have been really overthinking it. I guess I think it all started back when I was in secondary school as I keep all the same people all the time and there was nothing unique and I think since then I have always wanted to be different from others. I feel like maybe I enforced that too much. I still think that this thought is silly though of me to do

Azziman

Hey @Amy22, we hear you - your feelings are valid! It's natural to want to look at how others around you are doing, and it's understandable to not feel great when we feel that we're in a worse position. You still have time on hand, and the best thing you can do is focus your energy and attention on your own work. As long as your work is in on time, that's all that matters

As @JJLemon18 says, there can be uses for comparing ourselves to others, such as sources of inspiration or a guideline on what to do next. But it can also be quite damaging if we see great things and feel that we are inferior to those images. School is that time where we start to develop our own identities, and it's healthy to explore different options.

That being said, a useful exercise to dealing with always comparing yourself to others is to take stock of your own situation. What do you value in your own life, and what are you grateful for? There's a good chance that some of the other people you see online may feel the exact same way towards you too! Being appreciative for what we have is a great way to stave off the need to compare ourselves with others and feel down about it, because we can feel satisfied with our own lives

Amy22

Thank you so much @Azziman I guess I was having one of my silly moments again.

ebyrne556

Not at all @Amy22 ur feelings and thoughts are 100 percent valid.sendin hugs

Amy22

Thank you so much @ebyrne556