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My Mum
JJLemon18
Community Champion Posts: 2,021 Boards Champion
Recently I have been getting really worried about my mum, I've been thinking about it a lot today and since its been mother's day today I thought it might be a great opportunity for me to talk about it.
My mum has been going through a lot in her life with all the health problems, family problems and money problems. I think she has a lot of mental health problems too especially depression. She has been struggling a lot in the last couple years but it keeps getting worse now and I can see it. I have often found her crying out of nowhere and every time I ask about it she doesn't say more than "its alright".
TW suicide
She doesn't really have any interests or hobbies, most of the day she just spends cooking, cleaning and mostly scrolling through the internet. She doesn't even go out to any friends and her whole family lives in another country. I asked her many times what she likes to do and she doesn't know. I realised she enjoys playing board games with us the most but they honestly get kinda boring for me (since she always wants to play the same ones) and my dad doesn't treat her the best, I know she loves him a lot though which I think is the reason she hasn't left him already but also that she doesn't want to leave me and my brother without a father. I am worried, I am so worried, I can't imagine living without her not because it would be hard for me but because it would be hard for her. I mean too much for her and I know the way she feels highly impacts the way I feel, and it's not great right now.
Sorry. This has a been a lot but I had to get it out. Any advice what I could do about this would be highly appreciated.
My mum has been going through a lot in her life with all the health problems, family problems and money problems. I think she has a lot of mental health problems too especially depression. She has been struggling a lot in the last couple years but it keeps getting worse now and I can see it. I have often found her crying out of nowhere and every time I ask about it she doesn't say more than "its alright".
TW suicide
she has often mentioned people (from distant relatives to friends) that have committed suicide, last time even saying something along the lines of I understand why they did it, this terrifies me! I have a great relationship with her and I trust that she wouldn't hurt herself because she knows I need her and I know she needs me, but just thinking about this I'm starting to feel sick...
She doesn't really have any interests or hobbies, most of the day she just spends cooking, cleaning and mostly scrolling through the internet. She doesn't even go out to any friends and her whole family lives in another country. I asked her many times what she likes to do and she doesn't know. I realised she enjoys playing board games with us the most but they honestly get kinda boring for me (since she always wants to play the same ones) and my dad doesn't treat her the best, I know she loves him a lot though which I think is the reason she hasn't left him already but also that she doesn't want to leave me and my brother without a father. I am worried, I am so worried, I can't imagine living without her not because it would be hard for me but because it would be hard for her. I mean too much for her and I know the way she feels highly impacts the way I feel, and it's not great right now.
Sorry. This has a been a lot but I had to get it out. Any advice what I could do about this would be highly appreciated.
Believe in me - who believes in you
3
Comments
I highly doubt she will take her own life. This is just the true worst case scenario that would ruin my life more than it already is, even if it seems very unlikely to me. I'm just so worried about the fact that I won't always be there for her, I cant always be there to listen, I cant always be there to play board games with her, it just breaks my heart. As depressing as I may sound here I know for a fact that I bring a lot of hope and joy to my family so while I'm here for her I know she won't do anything stupid.
I tried to convince her to speak to a professional but she always refuses. She has been to the doctor many times and the most help she's gotten is a couple of medicines that ended up making her feel worse. She never talks about her mental health, she is too scared of being seen as a "psycho". Every time I try to mention my mental health she says "you need to stop being lazy and get your priorities straight", and I agree I just don't know how to do it...
I am truly lost, I feel incredibly bad for her yet I can't do anything to help.
Hey @JJLemon18, it sounds like things are feeling really tricky, and you're doing the best you can with what you've got.
Struggling with money can feel really stressful, especially when we have bills to pay but also want to look after our mental wellbeing.
The Mix has some great information and content about money and support that you may be able to get: https://www.themix.org.uk/money
And the Money Saving Expert site gives lots of information and tips on how to save money too which might help!
This won't last forever, be kind to yourself
@SpaceOtter don't worry about it, sometimes just knowing that someone cares is more than enough. Thank you
I'm in such a mess right now. I can't imagine the state I'd be in if my mental health was worse. I sometimes feel like I just want to stop thinking about everything, the more I think the worse I feel...
Just as some side tips, have you been able to update Student Finance and your educational setting on your household income? It is possible you might be able to receive more money.
Additionally, as a household, you might find it helpful to use the benefit calculators to see if there are any benefits you could be eligible for.
You don't have to face any of this alone if you don't want to. We are all here for you, whether that's a distraction to help take your mind off things for a little while or to talk it through with us