Got really upset over something stupid again

PenguinSky

So this was supposed to be a nice morning but turned into a shitty one… I had to pick up a ticket for an event by a certain time, and even though I got to the nearest station in plenty of time stuff went wrong and I ended up running late. I was already upset and angry about the other stuff, and then didn’t run so much as walk as fast as I could with a really heavy bag. I got to the place just in time but by then I was wheezing and it was hard to breathe and my legs hurt (I rlly need to exercise more) and while I was trying to pick up my ticket I just ended up gasping and sobbing in front of everyone. The staff were very kind but I’m so humiliated and angry that despite being a full adult I reacted this way to something so trivial (not just running late, the stuff before that too; maybe I would’ve got here with more time if I’d responded more sensibly and been better prepared.)

The worst thing is I’m starting my first ever full-time job this time next month. I’ve been feeling ever since accepting the offer like maybe I’m not ready and I’ll just screw it up, and now I feel even more like that’s true. The job needs some working under pressure and I’m sure if the ppl who interviewed me could’ve seen me today they would’ve changed their minds bcos they wouldn’t want a stupid, pathetic idiot who cries and hyperventilates like a kid just because she was late for something. Will prob post more about this job thing later but suffice it to say a lot of my confidence has just been smashed up and idk I feel so dumb and useless like I’ll never be able to handle real life like a proper adult. Just wish I could handle stuff better I guess : (

kaii

Hey @PenguinSky, thank you so much for reaching out. I just want to say that your feelings are completely valid, so it's completely fine for this to happen as that morning didn't go as planned for you. I understand that in the moment of stress, it's hard to have a clear mind. Even though you're an adult, it's completely fine for this to happen from time to time - we are still human, we get happy, sad, angry...etc. The fact that you've acknowledged that you want to handle something better means that you're committed to change mistakes, which is something that not a lot of people (adult or not) like to accept.

I wish you all the best for starting your full-time job next month, I understand that overwhelming and scary feeling about not being good enough for the job, especially considering what happened. I just want to let you know that you definitely deserve it. Just because this has happened, doesn't mean that you'll respond to every single stressful situation like this. The way you handle these situations will definitely change in the way you want it to. Once you start your job, it will be a huge learning curve in general. It's very difficult and stressful at first as you're still trying to get used to a new work flow, a new rhythm and routine - allow yourself to feel this as it's completely valid. As you continue working, I'm sure that you will get used to it. Different kinds of experiences happen and you will learn a lot from them. Please remember that these experiences are temporary and it will all pass

PenguinSky

@kaii Thank you so much for your reply, it was exactly what I needed to hear 💖💖💖 thank you so much

kaii

@PenguinSky it's no problem at all, I'm so glad that I helped