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My Anxiety
JJLemon18
Community Champion Posts: 1,926 Extreme Poster
Hello. I've been meaning to talk about this for a while now but just couldn't find the time and effort to do it.
I have extreme social anxiety which is literally a nightmare to live with. Every time I come in contact with any other human being (this includes video and phone calls which are perhaps even worse than face to face meetings) I just can't take it. I don't think I can express how frustrating it is.
I'd want to go a bit in depth on some of my symptoms because I think it could help but in not sure if it's entirely allowed here, so if anything then please tell me. I will spoiler it just in case.
I tried breathing deeply in and out, I tried focussing on something else but I just can't seem to distract myself.
Also I'm not a professional, I don't know if these are anxiety symptoms but after many years I came to the conclusion they might be. But please correct me if I'm wrong.
Anyways, I'm getting stressed just by thinking about this. I hope I didn't say anything wrong.
Sending hugs!
I have extreme social anxiety which is literally a nightmare to live with. Every time I come in contact with any other human being (this includes video and phone calls which are perhaps even worse than face to face meetings) I just can't take it. I don't think I can express how frustrating it is.
I'd want to go a bit in depth on some of my symptoms because I think it could help but in not sure if it's entirely allowed here, so if anything then please tell me. I will spoiler it just in case.
First of all, my hands sweat almost all the time even in situations where I don't think I'm stressed at all. The reason I think it's anxiety is because it rarely happens when I'm by myself at home. It is extremely annoying because I can't shake hands with people comfortably and I can't really touch most stuff because I would leave wet spots in places where I held my hands. For example there was a situation were my friend needed me to do something on his laptop but I refused for this reason, I didn't tell him why though.
Another thing is I will start to feel rumbling in my stomach that can sometimes get really loud. It most commonly occurs during lectures at uni which makes it especially annoying as it is pretty easy to hear. It happens too often even when I'm not hungry (or maybe its the stress that causes me to get hungry, I havent actually thought of it this way before).
Sometimes I will feel my muscles tense up which causes some pain after a while and I start noticing myself shaking especially in the neck and I'm not sure if my head is actually shaking or am I just imagining it because they are really small vibrations. But sometimes my body will quickly shake in a certain direction once, this is so hard to explain... This is by far the worst experience where I don't care what others think anymore I just want it to stop. I also forgot to mention that my hands will shake a lot when near people especially when someone is looking at me, this happens way too often.
Finally there is one where I will start to lose my voice to the point where I just try not to say anything because I'm scared that no words will come out my mouth and make things awkward, especially since I no longer have a voice to explain myself. This has lead to one of the most embarrassing experiences of my life. This one is kinda unpredictable compared to the others which makes it a little more scary since I never know when it could happen.
The absolute most horrible thing about this is that the more I notice these symptoms the worse my anxiety gets so then the symptoms get worse and so on... I basically feel like a ticking bomb where if I could I'd be happy to just blow up on the spot and vanish.
Another thing is I will start to feel rumbling in my stomach that can sometimes get really loud. It most commonly occurs during lectures at uni which makes it especially annoying as it is pretty easy to hear. It happens too often even when I'm not hungry (or maybe its the stress that causes me to get hungry, I havent actually thought of it this way before).
Sometimes I will feel my muscles tense up which causes some pain after a while and I start noticing myself shaking especially in the neck and I'm not sure if my head is actually shaking or am I just imagining it because they are really small vibrations. But sometimes my body will quickly shake in a certain direction once, this is so hard to explain... This is by far the worst experience where I don't care what others think anymore I just want it to stop. I also forgot to mention that my hands will shake a lot when near people especially when someone is looking at me, this happens way too often.
Finally there is one where I will start to lose my voice to the point where I just try not to say anything because I'm scared that no words will come out my mouth and make things awkward, especially since I no longer have a voice to explain myself. This has lead to one of the most embarrassing experiences of my life. This one is kinda unpredictable compared to the others which makes it a little more scary since I never know when it could happen.
The absolute most horrible thing about this is that the more I notice these symptoms the worse my anxiety gets so then the symptoms get worse and so on... I basically feel like a ticking bomb where if I could I'd be happy to just blow up on the spot and vanish.
I tried breathing deeply in and out, I tried focussing on something else but I just can't seem to distract myself.
Also I'm not a professional, I don't know if these are anxiety symptoms but after many years I came to the conclusion they might be. But please correct me if I'm wrong.
Anyways, I'm getting stressed just by thinking about this. I hope I didn't say anything wrong.
Sending hugs!
Believe in me - who believes in you
2
Comments
I am aware I need to see my doctor, I honestly kinda expected someone will say this. But I'm just not in the mindset for it right now as there are other things I'm focussing on at the moment. Also going to the doctor is also a very stressful experience for me. I will definitely keep this in mind though.
I have nothing that I think would help me cope with this right now. I mostly just hope that it doesn't get worse and when I feel like its too much to handle I often just leave the place I'm in and go home (but that isn't possible sometimes), then I feel bad for the rest of the day.