wen ppl tell me to move on

ellie2000

its not helpful, ppl expect me to b better now im in a different town. do we still need help if we're still struggling?
i forgot tht website, u type in ur postcode n it tells u wat there is avaliable in ur town?
does ptsd n trauma last 4eva?

ellie2000

ppl say 'leave it in the past' y do they say tht?

Former Member

Hi @ellie2000

It can be very upsetting when people are unable to appreciate how challenging it is to process and work through difficult times. Sayings like 'leave it in the past' are often said without ill-intent and might be intended to try to shift your focus to the present and the future. This can feel dismissive though, and at times impossible when you're struggling. Whilst working towards being in a place where things are more bearable is a great aim, this can be done at a pace which feels comfortable for you.

I have attached a link to the Hub of Hope, a service in which you type in your postcode in order to see what support is available nearby: https://hubofhope.co.uk/

Take care,
Eleanor

ellie2000

@el_rose0110 is there a nicer way of ppl saying those sayings so i can understand it more wen it is said again?. wat does ' to process' mean

AislingDM

I couldn't agree more with you @ellie2000 , I think a lot of people believe that a change in scenery will completely alter the difficult emotions you are experiencing and that it will allow you to become 'fixed' but as you know, life is never that simple, especially when you are recovering from so much immense trauma. Some people can not very understanding when we continue talking about pain from the past, but you're right, that's not fair, because lots of people continue to feel hurt even years and decades after the original trauma or pain they were caused. You deserve people in your life who can understand that and continue supporting you throughout, in the ways that you need.

You could try saying something that doesn't make the person feel attacked, as they're likely to have a better response. Something like "I know it can be a bit surprising when I talk about things from the past, but they can take a long time to let go of and I know lots of people who have gone through what I have that say continuing to talk about the pain is an important part of healing. I hope you can help me with this".

Also, 'to process' means 'to understand' and 'to figure out your feelings after experiencing trauma'. So, some people feel sad, some feel angry, some people feel a lot of feelings mixed together, so 'processing' all of that just means recognising each feeling and trying to cope with them.

There is another website called https://www.psychologytoday.com/gb which helps you to find people in the area who can support you