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Im just a burden.

Chloe234Chloe234 Community Champion Posts: 3,172 Boards Guru
in Health & Wellbeing
Im just a fucking burden. Cant do anything right. 😭 Cant be there for my friends when they needs me. Cant do one single thing right. ARGH. Im so tired of this constant being in a low mood but im scared to tell someone. Its so fun (/s) when you start having an anxiety attack in lesson for no particular reason yet you still try hide it bc you dont want the school to tell your parent. Ive honestly lost hope on recovering with mental health. My eating disorder is getting worse. My PTSD is getting worse. My anxiety is getting worse. Im sick of not feeling like im enough. Im sick of feeling like a burden. Im sick of not trying hard enough. Am i enough? Am i a burden? Am I trying hard enough?

I miss my stepmum. I want her back. But she never will be back. WHY cant i accept that and move on from the grief.?

WHY is life so shit?
🦆💜🦆💜🦆

Comments

  • HarryTHarryT Community Manager Posts: 319 The Mix Regular
    Hey @Chloe234,

    I can hear that things are feeling intense at the moment. You've mentioned that you'd like to share this low mood that you're experiencing with someone, but that you're afraid of doing so.

    You've done really well to open up and share how you're feeling with us. <3

    Is there anything in particular that you're feeling scared of happening if you tell other people about how you're feeling? You deserve support, Chloe, and from where I'm standing it doesn't seem like you're a burden to me. I see an amazing person who is trying their best through some difficult times, and that's something you should be really proud of. We're here for you, Chloe.

    Take care,
    Harry
    Hello amazing human (yes, that's YOU). I wish that you could see the amazing person who I see within you  ✨
  • Chloe234Chloe234 Community Champion Posts: 3,172 Boards Guru
    edited September 18
    Past User wrote: »
    Hey @Chloe234 I'm so sorry your feeling like that. You are definitely enough and you are not a burden at all. Of course your trying enough, just getting through every day being here Is trying enough. Your trying so so so hard and I'm so proud of you. Grief is always gonna be difficult and you might not accept it and that's perfectly okay. Love you <3

    Thankyou ❤️ love you too
    HarryT wrote: »
    Hey @Chloe234,

    I can hear that things are feeling intense at the moment. You've mentioned that you'd like to share this low mood that you're experiencing with someone, but that you're afraid of doing so.

    You've done really well to open up and share how you're feeling with us. <3

    Is there anything in particular that you're feeling scared of happening if you tell other people about how you're feeling? You deserve support, Chloe, and from where I'm standing it doesn't seem like you're a burden to me. I see an amazing person who is trying their best through some difficult times, and that's something you should be really proud of. We're here for you, Chloe.

    Take care,
    Harry

    thankyou harry.
    Idk its just im the strong one. The one whos there for everyone but myself. I feel like i need to stay strong for my dad because we lost my stepmum to a carcrash in march and ive just stepped up. If i tell my dad he would blame himself, he wouldnt want me to help as much as i do. I couldnt do it to my family
    Post edited by patrickDev on
    🦆💜🦆💜🦆
  • Chloe234Chloe234 Community Champion Posts: 3,172 Boards Guru
    Doesnt help that my ptsd is so bad atm along with my ed creeping in😭 im finding myself laying there at like 3 in the morning just bc the flashbacks just wont stop. Its like a whole playback of my shitty life and the traumatic events😭 maybe it was all my fault, maybe i made it all happen. Maybe im the problem. It was all fine until i was born. Maybe i deserve what happened to me. Maybe its all i am.

    Im fed up of the battle to eat. Im fed up of the flashbacks. Im fed up of feeling like its all happening again. I hate my body. I hate how i look. I hate blaming myself for everything that happened. I hate how i cant get over it. I just want to be normal. I just want all the badness to go away 😣

    sorry
    🦆💜🦆💜🦆
  • Laura_tigger82Laura_tigger82 Moderator Posts: 5,238 Part of The Furniture
    edited November 2022
    It sounds like you are going through a really tough time at the moment @Chloe234, with lots of responsibility. You have been really brave to share this with us and let us in.

    It is ok not to be ok though and that does not make you any less strong. We hear that being strong is really important to you at the moment and it sounds like you are being really strong.

    You have mentioned being there for yourself. Would you like to tell us a little more about what being there for yourself would look like at the moment?

    Similarly, I can hear that your PTSD is so bad at the moment along with your ED creeping in. What, if anything, usually helps this to feel more manageable for you?

    We are all here for you and listening to you if you would like to share more with us. Please feel free to keep talking to us and letting us how you are doing.

    Some other resources you might also find helpful are:

    Sending you hugs. Take care for now and we will look forward to hopefully hearing from you again soon <3
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  • AislingDMAislingDM Moderator Posts: 1,666 Extreme Poster
    This sounds so deeply overwhelming for you @Chloe234 :( Trying to cope with so much distressing pain from all angles sounds impossible, it's no wonder you're getting so fed up with trying your hardest every single day.

    I know there is so much burdening you right now, and it's making you question literally everything and all it makes you want is to just have one 'normal' day, free from this inescapable pain. It seems like, in particular, the trauma you've experienced is causing a big portion of your pain right now, especially as you've started to question whether or not it's your fault (which I definitely promise you it was not your fault <3 ).

    Perhaps, just talking on here some more about the kinds of emotions it's bringing up for you could help? (no pressure of course!). With all that is weighing you down right now, all I can wonder is who is there to support you through it all? (like you do for so many people on here).

    Huge hugs xx
    FAQ | How to report a post | How to report spam
    I'm a community moderator. I'm here to help guide discussions and make sure Community Guidelines are followed. I can't send DMs, but you can message @TheMix or email community@themix.org.uk with questions or concerns.
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