I am really affected by my brother's claims

Creativeboy23

I was eating my dinner and then my younger brother said he saw the way I way looked at this girl on TV programme, but he did not say anything because mum would tell him off. He said porn makes you look at girls lustfully, that I will look at a girl on TV and then look her up on Google on my phone and that people would think I am strange if I did that in the real world. He noticed I was upset, and he said to my sister “See, now he is upset. You cannot say anything…”. This was very dismissive of my feelings. His comments really affected me, triggering a memory of when he said this to me before, bringing my evening down, making me feel perverted, little, emotionally vulnerable, causing me to lose confidence in myself and to no longer feel interested in making female friends like I planned. The comments also made me feel really self-conscious about looking on the TV, when they are girls. I only think I am smiling when I am looking at a girl, I find attractive. I do not think I am looking at them lustfully. I just feel he wants to keep holding my past porn use against me when I do not view it now. Whilst I was feeling down, I was feeling like people were around me trying to calm me down and criticising my behaviour, making me feel I am bad for feeling how I am feeling. I was feeling beneath my brother, at the thought of him saying comments that upset me at home, but showing a different side when around girls and his friends.

Former Member

Hi @Creativeboy23

Well done for reaching out to the community. I am hearing that you feel vulnerable and you've lost confidence after your brother made comments about you looking at a girl on TV. That sounds really difficult. It's been a couple of days since this was posted I was wondering how you are feeling now? It's hard when people dismiss how you're feeling, but we're all here to listen and support you.

Former Member

Hey @Creativeboy23 that is really tough, I’m sorry to hear that your brother made you feel so low. I remember how awful my brother could make me feel growing up, he seemed to know just the right things to say to upset me. Sending you hugs 💜
How are you feeling? You mentioned you have a sister too, do they join in with your brother too? And do your parents help if they know?

Creativeboy23

Hello @jess63 and @Lucy307.

I am feeling better now but thanks.