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"We need to talk" -Used
Former Member
Believer in PlutoPosts: 131 The Mix Convert
For context, I was talking to this guy who is five years older than me and I'm 16(f). He has had previous relationships with a dear friend and that friend said I could "go for it." We've hung out a few times and really hit it off. But he's been sorta distant but I've also learned that he's a homebody who also just really likes his space. He's manipulated several women in the past and I knew that. But I was naive and believed him when he said he'd changed. We weren't telling our friends about us seeing each other. But then we were at his house and I got drunk and was flirty with him pretty much all night and he responded in flirtatious actions. He also ended up taking me home that night. The first time we hung out I expected it to be just a hook-up or make out sess. but then he was like I think I want to take you on a date I really like you. And being 16, hurt and having him know my entire trauma history, I drank that shit up. I was at work last night with a mutual friend and he texted me saying the infamous four letter cursed phrase, "we need to talk."
As an overthinker, I've learned we're almost always right. I have an incredibly bad feeling about this statement coming from him. I never wanted to be romantically attracted to him. It was just supposed to be a singular interaction, but then I fell for it. But now he's thinking and from that stupid phrase, I'm betting that it's to end things. If he never truly saw me like that, I wish he would've just been upfront and honest about it. I don't care what the truth is just as long as it's the truth. If he had just wanted to canoodle that would've been fine. I just feel used, like I should've known that's all he wanted. Every single word I spoke to him didn't matter. I agreed to seeing him. I'm going to probably see him on Monday and we're going to "talk." I'll keep you updated.
Am I being rash for assuming the worst in the scenario? I had asked him after the second time we met up and things got heated, if he was just using me. He looked incredulous and said no. If he was he probably wouldn't have texted me back. But words are just words. Even now, through my pain you're only seeing my side and not his. I don't know all the stuff he's been through, but he has been through it. I just feel like I'm not giving him the benefit of the doubt but through his past relations with others it's clear that maybe I shouldn't. He's hurt alot of people. But he's so remorseful.. I try to give everyone the benefit of the doubt and this entire time that we've been talking I feel like I'm just defending him. I'm really just tired of it. But closure and affirmation will be nice when we talk. In the meantime I'd be happy to answer questions and accept any advice you might have.. I'll keep you guys updated.
As an overthinker, I've learned we're almost always right. I have an incredibly bad feeling about this statement coming from him. I never wanted to be romantically attracted to him. It was just supposed to be a singular interaction, but then I fell for it. But now he's thinking and from that stupid phrase, I'm betting that it's to end things. If he never truly saw me like that, I wish he would've just been upfront and honest about it. I don't care what the truth is just as long as it's the truth. If he had just wanted to canoodle that would've been fine. I just feel used, like I should've known that's all he wanted. Every single word I spoke to him didn't matter. I agreed to seeing him. I'm going to probably see him on Monday and we're going to "talk." I'll keep you updated.
Am I being rash for assuming the worst in the scenario? I had asked him after the second time we met up and things got heated, if he was just using me. He looked incredulous and said no. If he was he probably wouldn't have texted me back. But words are just words. Even now, through my pain you're only seeing my side and not his. I don't know all the stuff he's been through, but he has been through it. I just feel like I'm not giving him the benefit of the doubt but through his past relations with others it's clear that maybe I shouldn't. He's hurt alot of people. But he's so remorseful.. I try to give everyone the benefit of the doubt and this entire time that we've been talking I feel like I'm just defending him. I'm really just tired of it. But closure and affirmation will be nice when we talk. In the meantime I'd be happy to answer questions and accept any advice you might have.. I'll keep you guys updated.
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I'm sorry to hear this, and I can see how the ambiguity and uncertainty that is held within those words could be difficult to deal with for you.
You've mentioned that you're going to see him on Monday, and I'm wondering how you feel about that? It's difficult for us to say whether or not you're being rash, because as you've said those words could mean a whole range of different things and it's difficult to know what he means by them. What is that worst case scenario that you are imagining? You've done really well to open up to us and talk this through, MK.
If you'd like to then do feel free to keep up updated on how it goes on Monday. We're here for you
Take care of yourself and speak soon,
Harry
It's okay truly. They are uncertain and make me feel a little uneasy but I know the outcome will be good regardless of whether I expected "good" to look like how it turns out. I am really nervous to see him but I'm also really excited. I've missed him this past week. The worst case scenario is that he doesn't want to have anything to do with me ever again. And that would be horrible because we're really good friends before the consideration of partners. I will definetly, give updates!! Wish me luck^^ Thank you for your support<3