Friday night Support thread (19/8)

Ed_

Friday night chat is going to be on the boards in the short term, so here is the support chat thread for tonight. @leyla26 is also modding tonight. We will be here till roughly 9.30.

This thread tonight in place of support chat, which is a space to talk through any thing that may be on your mind. As always, please make sure you check out the guidelines before posting and remember that replies may be a bit slower than you'd expect in chat.

If you need a break or a bit of light hearted relief, we will be using the general chit chat thread too.

leyla26

Hiya! It's my first times on the boards so I'm happy to be here and I'm sorry if I make any silly mistakes in advance, feel free to laugh at me!

independent_

I thought I’d enjoy a night watching TV and things but I’m honestly feeling lost without chat. Been a stressful week with sorting things out getting ready for the new kitchen on Monday but I now just can’t relax

leyla26

It's a bad time for there to not be a chat on @independent_ What's been happening with getting the kitchen ready?

Ed_

That sounds frustrating @independent_ not being able to switch off after a stressful week. Is everything ready for monday? I'm sure we can come up with some ideas of how to relax and unwind What did you have lined up for TV?

Jellyelephant

I'm really struggling. I had therapy this morning which helped but I don't know why people believe I can do "this" whatever this life is, nursing, etc. I've been sat crying for the last hour. I feel really overwhelmed and having difficult thoughts. My anxiety is terrible, i cant face any people and everything in life involves socialisation of some aspect. im just not cut out for it

leyla26

@Jellyelephant I can hear how overwhelming it must be, and just so upsetting too. I think we all have faith you can do it because you've always overcome the challenges you've faced so far, and we know what sort of person you are! I think feeling like you're not built for this world is the most upsetting feeling because it's the one chance we have and there's so much pressure to feel like we have to do it well. But I really think you'll find a way even if you don't know how to yet

independent_

@Jellyelephant that’s so tough, I really hear you on that, I have been there too it’s like you’re doing all these things and then it’s like “fuck, how am I going to cope with this”. It’s overwhelming. I wish I had more to say to make things easier for you, but I’m sending you hugs and I’m always here if you need a chat, a rant or someone to listen.

@Ed_ @leyla26 we’ve still got to empty the kitchen out which is a job for tomorrow, dad’s got arthritis and a really bad hip so it’s probably going to be me and mum doing all the work, which is fine but there’s a lot to sort and it’s gonna be exhausting deciding what to get rid of and what to keep and what to put where. Stress about basic things but it’s annoying.

Jellyelephant

thanks @leyla26

leyla26

@independent_ basic things can still cause a lot of stress! Like moving houses is like the universally most agreed upon stressful thing and having a new kitchen is basically a smaller version of that, so it's definitely annoying, especially when you don't have as many pairs of hands as you'd like. Also I think doing things like that with family you always worry there might be some bickering because everyone is stressed, do you think that might be a problem at all?

leyla26

Jellyelephant wrote: »

thanks @leyla26

Jelly what did your therapist say about all everything you're feeling at the moment?

Ed_

@Jellyelephant - Whilst socialisation is a part of a lot of things, I wonder if there is a way in which you can put this on your terms? Sometimes we feel that we have to be a certain way around people, or say yes to things we know aren't best for us, however there are ways that we can say no to these, though I appreciate that can be quite difficult to do. Is it worth having a think about what a more manageable world looks like for you?

independent_

@leyla26 not really with me and mum we tend to be on the same page. But if dad gets involved it might be an issue, but mostly because he’s in pain which he can’t help so we have to understand that. He struggled with shopping today even we went and he seemed really down because even shopping for half an hour really hurt, and I also have a disability so I’m not as helpful as I’d like to be.

leyla26

@independent_ Aw Elle it's hard to see people you care about be in pain, and especially making yourself keep that calm head for them. You're both doing all you can, even if it takes you a bit longer to get it done, you have a reason for that. The fact you want to help is more than a lot of people can say! It's still annoying though, it's a task you know will be stressful but you still can't get yourself to chill out for it. Silly brains

independent_

Yeah @leyla26 the hardest bit is wanting to help but not being able to as much as I want to. But I try and probably push myself more to help him. But hey we get by.

leyla26

@independent_ just don't push yourself too far to help them, you deserve to take care of yourself too and I bet they'd hope for the same even if things take longer as a result!! Are you hoping to have the kitchen mostly sorted by the end of the weekend?

independent_

@leyla26 we'll need to have it all moved by Monday morning the fitters are coming at 8am to take the old one and start electrics and things. Hopefully the new one will be in by the end of the week.

I think they'd rather we both took care of ourselves but I don't wanna leave mum to do all the work which would be what would happen but it'll be relatively short lived. Think I'm gonna be tired for the next few weeks lol

leyla26

independent_ wrote: »

@leyla26 we'll need to have it all moved by Monday morning the fitters are coming at 8am to take the old one and start electrics and things. Hopefully the new one will be in by the end of the week.

I think they'd rather we both took care of ourselves but I don't wanna leave mum to do all the work which would be what would happen but it'll be relatively short lived. Think I'm gonna be tired for the next few weeks lol

Gotta focus on that end goal of the nice new kitchen, that's what will hopefully make the next few days of stress worth it. It's a shame you can't get anyone in to help you guys with sorting and moving it all out, it's such bad timing that your dad is hurt for something like this </3

Chloe234

Hi having tough night tonight, but yayyy @leyla26 !!! And @Ed_ !!!

leyla26

Chloe234 wrote: »

Hi having tough night tonight, but yayyy @leyla26 !!! And @Ed_ !!!

I really hope tomorrow goes as smoothly as possible for you @Chloe234 Is that one of the things on your mind tonight?

Chloe234

@leyla26 thankyou❤️ yeah tmmr my dad and stepmum wouldve been getting married😭😭

independent_

@leyla26 true, it's all gonna be so worth it, our old kitchen is ok but not the best when there's 3 adults in the house most of the time, and sometimes up to 5.

Dad's pain has been getting worse for years, he's retired now but he really struggles to do anything which is hard to see, especially with big projects like this, but it's a good job I'm older and can help now because that with kids would have been a nightmare !!

Hugs @Chloe234 x

leyla26

Chloe234 wrote: »

@leyla26 thankyou❤️ yeah tmmr my dad and stepmum wouldve been getting married😭😭

@Chloe234 It's such a horrible world, being left with such a massive what if and for no good reason at all. I hope you and your dad can lean on each other tomorrow equally, because you guys will be the closest to understanding how it feels to lose such an amazing woman

Chloe234

Thanks @leyla26 it really is🥺im really struggling but theres 10 mins left of you being here so gonna have to sit alone for the night💔💔💔💔💔

independent_

@Chloe234 that's so sad, I agree that hopefully you and your dad can support each other, it's so hard to lose someone in such tragic circumstances.

leyla26

independent_ wrote: »

@leyla26 true, it's all gonna be so worth it, our old kitchen is ok but not the best when there's 3 adults in the house most of the time, and sometimes up to 5.

Dad's pain has been getting worse for years, he's retired now but he really struggles to do anything which is hard to see, especially with big projects like this, but it's a good job I'm older and can help now because that with kids would have been a nightmare !!

Hugs @Chloe234 x

A kitchen with 5 adults crammed in it sounds like the recipe for someone getting hit with a saucepan (either intentionally or accidentally..).

It must be really hard to watch, and with things like this it really comes out and becomes obvious how much pain he can be in, has he seen anyone about it or is it not really anything they can do things about?

independent_

Chloe234 wrote: »

Thanks @leyla26 it really is🥺im really struggling but theres 10 mins left of you being here so gonna have to sit alone for the night💔💔💔💔💔

Don't sit alone. Please, I'll stay around for a bit. I don't want to see anyone alone

Chloe234

Havent even had dinner yet lol, was at the pub however tmmr we are going out to the pub and going out for lunch but the pub is in the evening and im gonna wear my bridesmaid dress 💔🥺

Chloe234

I gotta go help with donner. Gonna miss out on the support i couldve got. Argh 😭💔🥺

independent_

@leyla26 it's arthritis and degenarative (how ever you spell that word) disks in his back, there's an operation but he won't have it, he's seen doctors and all they can give him is painkillers. So he's probably gonna be like this forever. Which sucks but he copes as we all have to. It's tough because we're both on disability benefits and mum is working which means we have to do a lot around here.

But ah well, I just have to think of the amazing new kitchen !!!

Chloe234

Wish i could message someone but i havent got anyone💔