Men and non-binary people, how do you look after yourselves?

JustV

Self-care might have become a bit of a buzzword now (anyone else noticed that it's starting to be used by corporations to sell products?) but it's hard to get around the importance of taking care of ourselves.

I know there are a lot of people in my life - usually men - who struggle with the concept of self-care and the idea of putting yourself first sometimes. I thought it might be nice to talk about what self-care means to us and how we take care of ourselves for those who find it more difficult.

So, men and non-binary people, how do you look after yourselves?

JustV

An important aspect of self-care for me is not doing things purely out of obligation. I actually had an example of this on the weekend: I had plans to see a friend with my partner, but when it came down to it I just didn't want to go. I'd had a tough mental health day and didn't have the social battery to hangout with people, so I didn't. They were super understanding.

Owl

i think for a man, i'm not actually that bad at self-care! some of it is knowing when to say no e.g. when the social battery is at 5% like you say Mike, some of it is being nice to yourself when you do something you need to do and can't get out of, and rewarding yourself for it with some video games or some tele or something!

this isn't exclusive to men at all, but i've noticed a lot us exercise for self-care too. i'm not a big fan of the gym, i like nature so i'm hiking a lot and it does make me feel better even if i think i can't be bothered to do it before i've started!!

i suppose the reason a lot of men struggle with self care is because of the societal expectations for us to be bread-winners, to never need help, to be taking care of our boys and our gangs and our families instead of ourselves etc?

but maybe some of it is because self-care on the surface tends to conjures up images of yoga and breathing exercises and house plants (even if it's about much more!) which might drive men away?

youngminds has a great campaign about self-care going on at the mo, would highly recommend anyone take a look at it

JustV

Nice @Owl! It's a great skill to have. I love the idea of rewarding yourself for hard things. 😊

Would really second hiking - I'm not an avid exerciser but I love a walk or a hike. Me and a couple of my buddies go camping every now and again and it really refreshes my mind.

i suppose the reason a lot of men struggle with self care is because of the societal expectations for us to be bread-winners, to never need help, to be taking care of our boys and our gangs and our families instead of ourselves etc?

but maybe some of it is because self-care on the surface tends to conjures up images of yoga and breathing exercises and house plants (even if it's about much more!) which might drive men away?

I think you might have a point here. 🤔 Those expectations to be bulletproof (or at least stoic) and selfless can be super powerful. If we were to 'market' self-care to male-identifying people a bit more, how do you think that could look? How would you frame it?