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Looks/Body Image/Style And Traits
Former Member
Posts: 38 Boards Initiate
Am I the only guy that doesn't have any tattoos and that hates them?
Am I the only guy that has no interest in body building and that never wants to become hench?
Am I the only guy that doesn't drive and that never wants to become a driver?
Does not having any of these styles and traits and never wanting any of them make me a weird and boring person?
Am I the only guy that has no interest in body building and that never wants to become hench?
Am I the only guy that doesn't drive and that never wants to become a driver?
Does not having any of these styles and traits and never wanting any of them make me a weird and boring person?
Post edited by JustV on
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Comments
I think all these apply to me!
Weird and boring according to whom, I wonder?
I wouldn't see those things as weird and boring personally, although I'd argue that weirdness isn't an inherently bad thing (all my favourite people are super weird).
In answer to your question on who I feel find me write and boring for not having these styles and traits are women, since all the women I have came across on all dating sites/apps find me to be unmasculine and tasteless due to not having any of these styles and traits.
I brought this topic to this website because I feel alone as a guy in the universe of dating and wanted to hear what people on here think about me for not having any of these styles and traits and wanted to know if I am the only guy without these styles and traits and the only guy that doesn't want any of these styles and traits and never wants them.
But this website isn't user friendly for me it at all, since I have been on here, yourself and other admins have tabooed all my posts and have made it impossible for other members to engage with my posts, where they are able to communicate with me or offer whatever advice they can, yourselves have made it impossible for me to communicate with anyone on here and my posts have never contained any spam or anything offensive before, I make these posts I have made genuinely for advice and because I would like to find people to communicate with, I thought the whole purpose of this website was to be able to post for advice and be able to communicate with people and find friends, which is why I came on this website in the first place, but yourselves have treated me like a troll, such as editting my posts, removing them, moving them to a forum that doesn't match the topic, locking my posts from people commenting and deleting my comments to stop people from seeing how yourselves are treating me every time I try to make a post and how yourselves are excluding me from other members of this site by doing this to all my posts each time, so I am clueless to how I am able to communicate with other members and how they are able to communicate with me if yourselves are going to keep putting these restrictions on all my posts, I have spilled out my heart in writing out all these posts I have made on here to cry out for help, I have used a lot of time and energy to add in every detail that all these posts contain and for yourselves to keep restricting them even though there is nothing spammish or offensive in them is very unfair, due to this experience pursuing, I have decided that this is not the right website for me and I should look elsewhere as since I have been on here yourselves have made it impossible for me to be able to communicate with people and impossible for them to communicate with me, yourselves are acting like I should be restricted with a pay wall.
I would like to reassure you that we don't think it's your fault. We are non-judgemental. We would just like to make sure your post receives the attention of the community that it deserves. This is made more likely if we can send the post to the most appropriate place for it. We appreciate your feedback. The most general reason for not placing your post in the introduction section is that introduction is designed for new members who mostly want to say hi and welcome.
It sounds difficult that you feel you don't have the traits that women on dating sites/apps expect of you. Would you like to tell us more about the ways in which they have made you feel unmasculine? No one has the right to say or do anything which makes you feel uncomfortable. You deserve to be who you want to be. Uniqueness is good and deserves to be celebrated.
We can see how much you are trying to find advice and find people to communicate with. Indeed, that is what The Mix's community is designed for (more so the latter). Sorry if you feel this hasn't been your experience. You have been really insightful with your feedback though. I hope my explanation at least semi-helped to reassure you that we care.
I can see @Emma_ has provided some other websites that you might find useful on another thread though if you wish to find other websites. According to @Emma_, these include Mind's Side by Side and Reddit. If you would like to let us know what you are looking for, we will happily support you with this
In terms of why not having these traits make me feel unmasculine is for the fact that all the women I have came across in my life so far everywhere online are only attracted to men that have these traits and I feel like I am also the only man that doesn't have these traits and that doesn't want them.
I already use Mind's Side By Side Website, I signed up to that website the same time I signed up to here, unfortunately I have had no hope with finding any friends on there either and people on there are uninterested in engaging with me with me at all, only like 3 people have engaged with like 3 of my posts on there so far, but they have all only engaged once per post they have engaged with, whenever I responded to their comments they never respond back when I respond to them, no one on there has been interested in getting to know me either.
As for Reddit i do not like Reddit at all, I was bullied badly on there by everyone for how I look and for being intolerant towards smoking, no one on there was nice to me at all, all I got on my posts was just nasty, trolling and hateful comments, I would never recommend that website to be a safe and inclusive space at all and would never even recommend that site to my worst enemy either.
Unfortunately Both here and Mind's Side By Side have not worked out for me at all in the possibility of me finding people who are also looking for friends, I was also unaware that here and Minds Side By Side are not sites designed for this purpose either, unfortunately I did not find here and Mind's Side By Side by myself, someone recommend here and Minds Side By Side on an app I used to be on called Nextdoor, I was being bullied the same intensity on there as what happened on Reddit and some random person who was un-hostile recommended here and Mind's Side By Side to me but they did not make me aware that here and Mind's Side By Side are just counselling services, I appreciate that they cared to try and offer me advice but unfortunately from my whole overall experience here so far and on Mind's Side By Side I have not found what I am looking for and here and Mind's Side By Side have not been the right places for me to look in either.
I was bullied for my appearance and for being intolerant to smoking on Nextdoor and Reddit was just another repeating episode of that experience.
I'm starting to wonder if this definition of masculinity and how you connect with it might be a blocker here. I would argue that you can be authentic - no tattoos, no driving, not hench - and still be a man and hold masculine values and traits if they're important to you.
For you, what does it mean to be masculine?
There are definitely women out there who get hung up on those classically masculine features of male partners, like being muscly and not very emotional. Likewise there are men who do the exact same thing when dating women. Without meaning to put people in boxes, I wonder if there's a certain 'type' of woman you might be meeting online who is especially focused on this stuff?
I've dated people who are like that, but I've dated far more people who (as cheesy as it sounds) really are more interested in finding a loving emotional connection. In my experience it can really depend on the circles you're moving in, and I wonder if your people and your community that you can connect with are in a different place to wherever you're meeting women at the moment?
For example, have you ever used Meetup? It's a good place to meet the 'right' kinds of people for you, whether that's board games nerds, foodies, people who are interested in movies, or whatever it is. You can usually find people who are nice, social, and less interested in the superficial stuff.
It really sucks to hear you had such a negative experience on Reddit and Nextdoor, especially over something as superficial as your decision not to smoke. I've never heard of people taking that so seriously so it sounds like you were dealing with some real difficult folks. 🙁
Hi there Mitchall, I don’t think any of the above make you weird or boring. My partner would agree with you on tattoos and body building and my brother would agree with you on all 3 (the driving one too). Neither of these guys I would describe as weird or boring, I don’t think any of these things have anything to do with that at all. Just my opinion 😊