First time sexting

Former Member

Hello!! Currently having a bit of a panic. I have just had text sex with someone for the first time, who I've only known for two weeks. It's been nice chatting to them and then it just sort of started to happen, I've never had sexual experiences with others before. It was really nice and good, but now I am panicking so much as I'm not sure if it was too soon for me, or a good thing to do. I have been going through a heartbreak this year which has been awful, and feel like I still am getting over what happened with that person. Just feeling so so stuck :--(

Former Member

Hi there @upthebracket! Thank you for reaching out.

I’m sorry to read that you feel in a panic! It's such a tricky process trying to figure out if you’re ready to progress things sexually for the first time. Sex can be great fun, but its important to keep checking in with yourself afterwards about how you’re feeling about it, exactly like you’ve done. It sounds to me like you’ve recognised some conflicted feelings, as you mention you enjoyed it at the time but you’re also worried about if you feel it was a good thing to do. I can understand how this must be confusing for you. I wonder if you would feel comfortable speaking to the person you sexted about how they found it, or a trusted friend who has sexted before? I ask this because, for me personally, if I’m ever unsure how I feel about a situation then I find gaining another perspective can sometimes help me locate how I most strongly feel, but this is just a suggestion We can also discuss some of your worries further if you would find that helpful for working things out in your mind.

Secondly, I am so sorry to read about your recent heartbreak. They are never easy, and can create a lot of hurt and sadness, so it's important that you look after yourself during this time and allow yourself time to heal at your own pace. We at the mix are here to support you through this too