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It seems impossible to start over again
Kate_20
Posts: 657 Incredible Poster
I know it is a vicious cycle. I stay at home and I feel like I am gradually losing friends. My physical health could never be the same after so many suicide attempts and self-harm behaviours. I want to rebuild my health but it seems impossible. All my efforts are futile. My only option is to die because it is my punishment for destroying myself.
Tengo el alma en cuarentena y roto el cuerpo
Qué dolor, qué pena y qué tormento
El Kanka - Lo mal que estoy y lo poco que me quejo
Qué dolor, qué pena y qué tormento
El Kanka - Lo mal que estoy y lo poco que me quejo
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You're dealing with a lot, and it's understandable to want to find some relief from all this pain you've been dealing with. You deserve support and to be safe. Please remember that if these suicidal thoughts become too much, there are people who are waiting to support you i.e. SHOUT (85258), The Samaritans (116 123), and Papyrus (0800 068 4141), I'm wondering if you've been able to speak to your GP about your mental and physical health? I know this isn't something that's always possible so please don't feel like you have to, I'm just wondering if they could offer you any further support with this? When you say that you want to rebuild your health, what would that look like for you?
Sending so much love and support your way. I wanted to check in and see whether you feel safe right now?
You mentioned you see death as a punishment for destroying yourself. These sound like some really difficult thoughts to be having. You don't deserve punishment of any kind at all. What you deserve is support
I'd love to echo the links that Brooke has shared to Shout, The Samaritans and Papyrus. There is also The Mix's crisis messenger which you can reach here. You do not have to go through this alone