feelings today

ellie2000

why wont ppl run me down with their car, wen im in the road they slow down n flash twice, sometimes they immediate turn onto the pavement n i dont go to c if they're alright

daisyella12

Hi @ellie2000

Thank you for reaching out about how you are feeling. It seems as though you are struggling at the moment, is there a particular reason why you are feeling this way? Has something happened recently to make you want to stand in front of cars? It is clear the people driving the cars do not want to hurt you, they value your life and do not want anything to happen to you, the same as us here at the mix. Please feel free to open up more about how you are feeling, or to talk about anything even if it is not relevant to this post. We are here for you and appreciate you so much

ellie2000

sometimes i m back to wen i was surrounded by a**holes, wen it comes to tht moment i go in to fight or flight mode and if im on the pavement walking i go into the road expecting to be knocked down, wen im not im not happy. wen i get in i watch cartoons

Brookee

Hey @ellie2000,
It's understandable that when you're dealing with flashbacks, your brain turns to fight or flight mode. Is there anyone you feel able to reach out and speak to about this? When you say you walk into the road expecting to be knocked down, do you feel suicidal when this happens, or is there another overwhelming emotion that comes into play? I think it's really great that you have some coping mechanisms in place for when you get home to soothe you, what sort of cartoons do you watch?

ellie2000

i do expect to get knocked down but it doesnt work, once a nieghbor stopped me from hurting myself coz i felt really really sad
i watch: archer, south park, stressed eric, invader zim, a town called panic, niiser

Laura_tigger82

Hey @ellie2000

Thanks for your response. I really appreciate how much courage it must take to tell us how you feel. Like @Brookee, I can also hear the suicidal thoughts and self-harm behind your expectations. I am really glad to hear your neighbour stopped you.

I want to tell you how brave you are for telling us how you feel, but also that we are always here for you if you want to talk, and so are Samaritans, Shout, and Papyrus. I have put all of their contact details below in a spoiler which I hope will help! Essentially it lists who you can contact if you need support or a listening ear.

I am really glad to hear you have other things you enjoy doing and watching. If we can do anything else to help, please just let us know. Most importantly though, I want to remind you that we are always here for you, and listening to you!

The Mix - Crisis Messenger - Text THEMIX to 85258 (24/7)

Samaritans - Call 116 123 or email jo@samaritans.org (24/7)

Shout - Text 'SHOUT' to 85258 (24/7)

The Mix - Helpline: Call 0808 808 4994 (3 pm - 12 am, 7 days a week)

Papyrus - Call 0800 068 41 41 or email pat@papyrus-uk.org (2pm - midnight)