I am a boring person (TW：suicidal feelings)

Kate_20

I cannot reply to my friends' messages because I am feeling suicidal. I think they probably got used to hearing it. I don't want to keep on repeating this topic because it is boring. It is boring to feel suicidal. But nothing interesting happened in my life. I also don't want to make them concerned about me. I want to find a suitable place and quietly disappear from this planet. I don't want people to notice any difference.

Former Member

@Kate_20 I am so sorry you are feeling like this. Suicidal thoughts are not boring, it just means someone is struggling, I understand how you feel, as I have been in this boat myself- feeling as though you are getting repetitive and people are finding you tedious because of your struggles. What is a hobby you enjoy, or used to enjoy?

JustV

I hear you on this @Kate_20. The oddly 'boring' element of being suicidal long-term is something a lot of people don't realise about feeling like that. It's an exhausting thing to feel.

There can be a lot of pressure to stay social when you're feeling low or suicidal, and something I've found useful is letting my friends know I'm not going to be around for a bit. Sometimes I say why and sometimes I don't - it's just something to manage their expectations. And once I've done that, it feels like quite a big weight off. Might be more for me than for them!

Have your friends ever said anything to you about you being boring, or are these all your thoughts?

I also want to challenge the idea that you're a boring person. Living with mental ill-health for a long time (and the boredom that can come with that) doesn't mean you are boring. Personally I don't believe those feelings define who you are or who you're able to be in the future. I know you might not have meant to place any emphasis on this, but still wanted to highlight it.

One day at a time. ✨

Laura_tigger82

Hi @Kate_20

Thanks for reaching out. I always appreciate how much courage it must take to reach out.

Other than agreeing with the wonderful words already provided by @maryam852 and @Mike, I just want to add that people care about you more than you may be able to see.

We are all here for you and sorry to hear you are experiencing a tough time. We wish we could make things better for you but we will certainly stand by your side so you don't have to face it alone. If there is anything we can do to make it better for you, please just let us know.

The only boring bit is for you to have to struggle with this on a regular basis. It must be difficult but you face it by being brave and reaching out for support when you need it. Both of which, we are proud of you for.

Take your time though. If space is what you need then space you have. Try to fill the space with things that you find calming though. Also, I think you could benefit from kind words and joyful memories in your space.

You are also more than your mental health struggles. We value you for who you are and want to support you through the tricky parts and celebrate with you when you achieve your goals and hopes.

We believe in you Kate and are all listening to you and care about you