Break up struggles

Former Member

As much as i dont see why i feel like i got closure but im stuggling with how to move on and be ok without him.
We broke up around a week ago, since then only had contact to arrange collection of belongings, the collection went better than expected i got my chance to ask questions and felt understood.
He ended it because as much as he tried and even tho he had strong feelings it was love for him. His actions and the way he was with me seemed like he loved me and we were both so happy together. He even said he is sorry he couldnt love me and wished he did. We ended it on good terms and i have no bad feelings towards him, we have both said we care about the other a lot. I wish that was enough for him to stay with me. He said that its nothing ive done wrong and theres no one else he just dont know why he dont feel love.
Now that i have accepted his reasoning im just stuggling to be ok without someone who made me so happy. Its like we were made for each other, since day 1 we got on like a house on fire and i could really feel the connection.
How do i cope and be ok with moving on from a breakup i feel like is a mistake and im scared i will never click as well with anyone else and be as happy.

Former Member

Hello @LifeOnEarth

I'm really sorry to read that you're going through a difficult time right now. Break-ups are hard, and it's important to be gentle with yourself during this time of healing. It can be really hard when something ends and we weren't prepared for it.

Time really can be a healer in break-ups. Is there anything you love to do that could help distract you at times where the feeling is more difficult to sit with? This can be anything from listening to your favourite band, binge watching your comfort tv show etc.

It seems like this is a very overwhelming and consuming feeling you're sitting with right now. Do you happen to have anyone you trust and feel safe and comfortable around? It may be helpful to surround yourself with people who make you happy, whilst you're going through this.

I am really sorry to read of the pain you're going through right now. Do you feel able to express more about the situation, and how you're feeling? This is a safe space with no judgement, but don't feel like you have to share anything you're uncomfortable with.

Sending you lots of love

Former Member

@Brookee
I feel devastated, it feels like its all totally wrong and shouldn't be happening. I just want to message him to make it feel normal again. Everyone says no contact is the best way and i know that i need to break the habit of having him there

Former Member

@LifeOnEarth I am really sorry to hear that you're feeling devastated. That seems like a very overwhelming and all consuming emotion to be sat with. I understand how you feel, it can be really difficult when you feel so strongly, not to do something like reach out to them. Sometimes you need some time away from the person, it can help you in the healing and recovery process. I know it probably seems to only be making these feelings harder to deal with by not having him there to contact when you need it. However, when we're in such an overwhelming and distressing headspace, it can sometimes make this a harder situation to process and deal with.

Please take care of yourself, and be gentle with yourself during this time. I would suggest immersing yourself in things you love, that make you feel safe and comforted, and be around people who you trust, and whom make you feel happy.

Sending you lots of love right now