Bad pain and other things on my mind..

Former Member

Hi guys I just want to talk about something that is on my mind I. 6th form whenever I want to talk to people in my class or anyone it feels like my teaching assistants push them away from me like when I’m trying to talk to them they are like trying to get them away from me without telling them to go away it’s their actions
Also today I started getting a pain in my side and that made me cry two times today I actually do worry about my health a lot apparently I’ve had an ultrasound for it the scan results come back and there was something in there this was ages ago the scan they don’t know what it is I’m scared it might be dangerous but apparently if it was dangerous I would have been seen quickly but there is cancer patients that are still waiting. I just can’t deal with the pain. My one teaching assistant said this isn’t a time to have a meltdown now but she actually don’t know what the pain feels like so she can’t really tell me to stop having a meltdown because she don’t know what it feels like herself also the maths teacher was there do the class was cooking when I started crying because it hurts really bad it comes and goes but I’ve had the pain come and go for ages in my old class too. I don’t think that is very nice then telling me to stop crying because it really hurts and on top of all that I’ve been having relationship problems long distance I ended it but I feel bad because I actually loved him but he was asking for things to see all the time which I’m not going into to much detail about but it seemed like that’s all he kept asking for and not just to talk about things and that but he saying that’s not all he wants. He says he loves me and cares about me. He wants me to get back with him? I don’t know what to do?

Thankyou for reading x

independent_

Hey,

It sounds like you’ve got a lot on your mind at the moment, I’m sorry to hear you’re struggling.

Health anxiety is never easy, it’s not something I have much experience with but I understand it can’t be easy for you to be worrying about your health all the time. The doctors are very well trained though and they know what they’re looking for, which is worth remembering - if there was something really serious hopefully they’d notice it pretty quickly.

Relationships can be difficult, it’s important that you have good communication as much as you can, it’s vital to talk about how you feel, I’ve found that having a calm discussion about things that are bothering you and finding ways to work through it can really help instead of having big arguments which just cause hurt feelings.

Keep talking to us, I’’m sorry I don’t have much advice but we’re all here for you

Former Member

Hi @_Tech_Addict_Girl

First of all, you are definitely not alone in your worries and thoughts about your health - I struggle myself with health anxiety and it can be really frightening and frustrating not knowing what's going on with your body. Sometimes, annoyingly it can be anxiety causing these pains that we are worried. I feel that the best advice I could give you, is to contact the doctor again and book an appointment to talk through all your health concerns about the pain and the scan that you had, so they can discuss your results with you and hopefully give you some advice on how to relieve the pain and give you some reassurance that the pains aren't a signal of anything harmful or dangerous.

Also, the way that you're teachers are behaving towards you having a meltdown in class wasn't kind or understanding at all. Could you write them a note or ask the doctors to write a note which you can give them detailing the amount of pain that you're in and how it may affect you during lessons? so that they can hopefully understand what you are going through and then behave in a kinder and more concerned manner towards you than a hostile manner.

Also, with your relationship issues - trusting your gut is always the best thing to do. Also, in a relationship, trust, communication and respect are key. So, if you thinking that he has broken your trust, or that you can't communicate your needs to him without him showing annoyance or anger in any type of way or if you feel that he is disrespecting your needs, thoughts or values in any way. Then the best thing to do is to end it, no matter how difficult or challenging it may be. As you deserve the best in a relationship and if you continue on with a relationship that has the red flags which I talked about earlier, you won't be getting the best of a relationship and I really wouldn't want this for you as that is not what you deserve.

Sending you lots of big virtual hugs your way

All the best.

Former Member

@independent_
Hey Thankyou for taking the time to reply to me I will keep in mind what you have said Thankyou again ❤️It’s just that on and off I have this pain on my side and the doctors don’t know what it is it’s actually really scaring for me.
About the relationship problem it’s just so hard to find someone loyal for me once everyone finds out I have a wheelchair they run off like they think you can’t date someone in a wheelchair when you actually can.🥺


@Rose124 Hey Thankyou for taking the time to reply to me❤️I am really glad that I’m not alone with my health anxiety and I’m so sorry you suffer with it too I do agree that it is very frustrating and fighting and it can bring up all other negative feelings too which is very tiring I was thinking about ringing the doctor but my mom don’t like me ringing the doctor because she thinks I will ring them for every little thing and I know for a fact that pain isn’t when I get anxious because it’s on my side by my kidneys I think is where it is.
The pain I get when I’m really anxious is chest pain 🥺. I just need to see what it is now so I can rest my mind I did tell my mom to ring she said she will if it stops you from moaning but she never.

About the teaching assistants and teachers I could try that but I don’t think it won’t change anything at all because they are not understanding about these things at all only certain things but I don’t like it when they actually left me to cry until one teacher come in a spike to me but I have to be careful about what I say to them because apparently it goes back to the teaching assistants and then they moan at me

About the relationship yes I did end it because all he wanted was stupid stuff and was annoyed when I didn’t give him that stuff because that’s all he seemed to be wanting . Also about what I said to Ellie I can never find a loyal loving relationship because I have a wheelchair and when they find out I have one they run away. I think they think they can’t have a relationship with a person with disabilities which is stupid really. I have no luck with that at all I will never find anyone 🥺which is upsetting.

Thankyou again for taking the time to reply sending big hugs to both of you💓💓

Former Member

Hey @_Tech_Addict_Girl I'm sorry to hear about health anxieties. I know it's difficult to trust the doctors with the process and the waiting game is a long and hard one so I am sending you hugs and love here. I don't know how old you but when you are 16 you can go to the GP on your own. I know it isn't the doctors but maybe if you can get an appointment with them and discuss your anxieties with them, they can report to the doctors and the doctors may want to set up an appointment with you to get around your mum not calling them. If you're not over 16 or have heard this advice plenty of times then I am sorry in advance because hearing the same thing over again can be frustrating. Hopefully this will be sorted out soon and you won't have to continue with these pains as well as your anxiety.
As for your relationship, you did what was best for you. He was not able to respect boundaries and I think if he really wants to make your relationship work he'll be willing to listen to what you have to say and respect your boundaries. It may seem that he is the best option right now because you've said before that you've never found a loyal loving relationship because you're in a wheelchair, but this isn't forever. Often times the person who will love you for all that you are will come along when you aren't looking but you need to also believe that they are coming. Not everyone will want to understand you but there is one who will, just you wait. For the meantime if your current relationship isn't working out don't go back because it may just make you feel even more unhappy.
You have a kind heart and you're brave for coming on here speaking about what is bothering you. I hope my advice helps.

Former Member

@naomi thankypu so much for your reply I will read it later when I have calmed down a little bit because I have some news that the doctor forgot to refer me to the hospital my mom phoned the hospital today and they said it’s not on the record the referral 😭😭😭😭😓I’ve literally had enough of this pain the doctors are annoying!

Former Member

Hey @_Tech_Addict_Girl. I wanted to check up and see how you're doing and if the situation has gotten any better with the doctors and your relationship. Still sending love from here