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Confused
Former Member
Posts: 1 Just got here
Hey guys, so I'm new to this and not sure how it works but it seems like a good place to just get my thoughts out there.
So I get really emotional during my time of month due the symptoms I get, basically I cry over everything, feel tired and weak all the time.
During this time I tend to rely on a close friend to help me get through by talking. On Monday they decided that they should 'back off' because I said on Saturday that I don't think I need to get external help because I have them to talk to. I said this when I was tired, hungry and had an emotional day (I hardly slept Friday night due to the pain despite taking painkillers). Now my friend hasn't spoke to me since Saturday even after messaging saying that I don't want them to back off. Basically they are taking one statement I said when I wasn't in a good place and not listening to what I'm saying now that I'm feeling a little better. I've explained that I want and can have both (a friend and external help) and have had no reply back. I've also asked to meet up to talk about this and still no communication.
This is not the first time it's happened, I feel like they decide when they what to talk to me.
But then a part of me believes that they are doing this for my own good as it's made me reach out to platforms such as this.
We have been friends since we were 11 years old and I want to keep them in my life but sometimes I think if it's healthy for me to do so as it does make me sad and sometimes upset that they have backed off.
Please let me know what you guys think.
So I get really emotional during my time of month due the symptoms I get, basically I cry over everything, feel tired and weak all the time.
During this time I tend to rely on a close friend to help me get through by talking. On Monday they decided that they should 'back off' because I said on Saturday that I don't think I need to get external help because I have them to talk to. I said this when I was tired, hungry and had an emotional day (I hardly slept Friday night due to the pain despite taking painkillers). Now my friend hasn't spoke to me since Saturday even after messaging saying that I don't want them to back off. Basically they are taking one statement I said when I wasn't in a good place and not listening to what I'm saying now that I'm feeling a little better. I've explained that I want and can have both (a friend and external help) and have had no reply back. I've also asked to meet up to talk about this and still no communication.
This is not the first time it's happened, I feel like they decide when they what to talk to me.
But then a part of me believes that they are doing this for my own good as it's made me reach out to platforms such as this.
We have been friends since we were 11 years old and I want to keep them in my life but sometimes I think if it's healthy for me to do so as it does make me sad and sometimes upset that they have backed off.
Please let me know what you guys think.
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Comments
lovely to have you in the mix community!
Friendships fluctuate a lot, and it is very natural to have ups and downs. space is always important in maintaining healthy relationships. communication can be really difficult, and it is great that you have been able to come and express your feelings on here!! I also can get very emotional, and sometimes to release my emotions I watch a sad film as a release of these accumulated feelings, maybe you could try this too?
when you are so close to a person, it can be really difficult to give each other space, but I think giving each other time is important in order to have a meaningful conversation when you are both ready.
I think everything happens for a reason and that your friend must have their reasons as to why they have backed off too. The mature way is to meet up and talk it out but I think maybe for the time being it might be best to give each other space.
Friends can be our support system but it's important to realise when we should talk to a professional. Once again, I think you and your friend should talk about this but for the time being it might be a good idea to let it breathe for some time. It's totally normal to feel this way and writing things down when I'm overwhelmed helps me a lot so maybe that could help you too? If you feel like it's gone past that point though, I would recommend contacting maybe your doctor to discuss this.
Hope you and your friend can work it out!
I'm sorry to see that you're having difficulties with your friend, it must be really stressful!
To start things off, it's good to see you reaching out to your friend through a difficult time and I'm proud of you for doing so! And it's really good to see you want to resolve this situation.
I agree with @Past User here!
Considering you guys have been close friends, it must be really upsetting for your friend to ignore you like that, especially after having a vulnerable moment. If this is not the first time, then it sounds like there might be more to this situation.
Take some time to reconsider what you want in this friendship and see how you can move forward with this. If this is a repeated pattern, then maybe it's time to recognize what exactly is going on and why this keeps happening.
I hope you guys are okay.
This sounds tough, because I completely understand where both of you are coming from. I get like that when I’m down, I say things I don’t mean and then regret them later, so I’m still learning myself to control my emotions, and not let them control me. It’s good that you have a friend that you can rely on, but I think an important thing to remember is that your friend is not your counsellor/therapist. If they themselves have expressed that they think you may need external help (which I’m assuming is a counsellor/therapist?) then I think you should really think about that option. It’s not fair on your friend if they feel like they’re talking to you about stuff that they can’t help you with, or feel like it’s a subject which should be spoken about with a trained professional. You have to respect their boundaries. It’s great that you’ve communicated all this, but I think a good thing to do would be to try and seek some external help, then try and approach your friend again, and let them know what you’ve done. Counselling is investing in yourself! And you’re worth it! I’m a firm believer that everyone should have a decent therapist, because why wouldn’t you invest in something that can help your mental well-being so much? Again, you deserve it!
I hope this didn’t come across as me telling you what to do, everything is in your hands and your decision at the end of the day, and I wish you the very best in whatever you decide to do! Sending love!