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What if I'm over 25?

TheMixTheMix The Mix HQPosts: 2,613 Staff Team
edited April 24 in Start here
We get asked this question a lot and, until now, we haven't had any written or official rules around it. For the most part, turning 26 won't mean any big changes in how you can use The Mix community, but there are some finer details you'll need to keep in mind. This post should help clarify those details and make sure our approach is consistent for everyone reaching the end of their time as a Young Person ;)

Some of this might be stuff you already know, and some of it might be new information.

So, without further ado...


Can I join the community if I'm a little over 25?

Yep! You're welcome to join, stick around, and chat.

Our support needs don't suddenly change on our 26th birthday, and chances are a lot of conversations on the community are relevant to you even though you're just over 25.

That said, there are a few things to keep in mind...

Some of The Mix's services are funded strictly for Under 25's, such as Support Circle. You won't be able to use those services. If you try to without realising, don't worry - we'll let you know.

As a general rule, we also prioritise under 25's for most things. For example, if we have a busy PM or email inbox, we're likely to prioritise under 25's and may take longer to get back to you.

And finally, we'll probably be less lenient if you break the Community Guidelines. This is because in-depth conversations about the guidelines or your behavior are quite time consuming for moderators, and we need to make sure we're focusing that time on community members under 25. As an older member, we also expect you to be a role model for positive behaviour in the community.

If you break the guidelines, we'll probably just let you know what the issue was and leave it there. If you break the guidelines frequently, you may be banned indefinitely.


I'm under 25 now, but what happens when I turn 26?

Not much will change immediately. Our support needs don't suddenly change on our 26th birthday and you're still a valued community member.

That said, there are a few things to keep in mind...

Some of The Mix's services are funded strictly for Under 25's, such as Support Circle. You won't be able to use those services. If you try to without realising, don't worry - we'll let you know.

As a general rule, we also prioritise under 25's for most things. For example, if we have a busy PM or email inbox, we're likely to prioritise under 25's and may take longer to get back to you.

And finally, we'll probably be less lenient if you break the Community Guidelines. This is because in-depth conversations about the guidelines or problematic behavior are quite time consuming for moderators, and we need to make sure we're focusing that time on community members under 25. As an older member, we also expect you to be a role model for positive behaviour in the community.

If you break the guidelines, we'll probably just let you know what the issue was and leave it there. If you break the guidelines frequently, you may be banned indefinitely.

Over time, we might have a conversation with you about transitioning to another service to get support. You're welcome to stick around here and support others for as long as you like, though - we've got plenty of active members who turned 25 long ago, but still stick around to help out and chat more generally.


Moving on from a support service can be a good thing

It can be difficult to stop using a service for support, and understandably so. In communities, we build relationships, experiences, memories, and life lessons that are important to us.

But transitioning to a new support service at the right time is a healthy thing to do.

There are practical considerations first and foremost. Support services tend to be specialised in one way or another and, for The Mix, that's young people. So the information you'll find with The Mix's services will usually be specific to young people. A lot of services we might tell you about (e.g. Childline) aren't usable for adults, but if you join a community for older people, they'll know all about support for adults.

Ask yourself... can the service I'm currently using support me in the ways I need it to? Would I benefit from a service more setup for my age, or specialised in something I'm struggling with?

Using a new support service can also be a time for change; a chance for us to connect with new people, think in new ways, and try new things. Those moments can be essential for our support journey, and sometimes even help us break unhelpful cycles or thought processes we might be stuck in.

And you know what? Let's celebrate that change.

If you're at a point where you're thinking about moving on from getting support at The Mix, that means you've spent time building a community with us, supporting others, and - most importantly - growing as a person. That's something to be proud of, and for us to celebrate with you.

Besides, no one ever really leaves The Mix. You're an elder now, and no doubt there are community members under 25 who could learn from you and what you've learned.


What if I'm much older? (e.g. 30+)

The community's life experience and knowledge of support is generally specialised to under 25's. That means it's going to be tricky to have conversations about situations specific to your age group, and we're not going to have very much practical information on hand to support you.

For these reasons, we would suggest using a service specifically designed for adults. A good starting point is Side by Side, a mental health support community run by Mind for over 18's.

As a safeguard for our younger members, you also won't be able to send PMs.


----
Feel free to comment below with any questions or suggestions.

New here?
Head to Start Here, where you'll find some useful information about us and our main rules and guidelines.

We're @Mike, @Connor, @Emma_, and @Ed_ - the staff team here at The Mix. We don't provide support on this account, but if you have any questions about the boards, feel free to drop us a message. Alternatively, you can head over to the Help Desk.
Post edited by Mike on
independent_AzzimanSalix_alba_2019Kesh260807Dandelion
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Comments

  • independent_independent_ Resident Coffee Addict ScotlandPosts: 6,241 Master Poster
    edited February 12
    I have a few questions, if that's ok - I'm only 18 now so it doesn't apply to me directly but these came to mind when I was reading this and thought I'd ask anyway in case it helps others. 

    re support circle, say a regular user of that service is 25, turning 26 soon. Would they strictly have to stop using it the week before they turn 26, or is there a bit of flexibility - I ask this because I know the change would be really hard if someone was used to using it regularly. 

    If people over 30 can't send PM's, and someone who has been around for years turns 30, will they not be able to send PM's anymore? Or will that be relaxed because they've been around for a long time? 
    “Sometimes the people around you won’t understand your journey. They don’t need to, it’s not for them.”
  • DancerDancer Bog Off Justine! Posts: 5,400 Part of The Furniture
    I have a few questions, if that's ok - I'm only 18 now so it doesn't apply to me directly but these came to mind when I was reading this and thought I'd ask anyway in case it helps others. 
    re support circle, say a regular user of that service is 25, turning 26 soon. Would they strictly have to stop using it the week before they turn 26, or is there a bit of flexibility - I ask this because I know the change would be really hard if someone was used to using it regularly. 
    If people over 30 can't send PM's, and someone who has been around for years turns 30, will they not be able to send PM's anymore? Or will that be relaxed because they've been around for a long time? 

    I think that you might be able to get away with joining the support circle on your 26th birthday at the discretion of mods but usually you would have to stop using it before you turn 26. Yes it can be hard to move on if you have been using support circle for a long time but our support needs can change a lot over time. This is just what I think.

    I also think that the rule about over 30's not being able to PM will only count for new users but again that is just what I think and the rule could be a blanket rule for all over 30's.
    I'm a fruit loop. 🍊➰

    There's a part of me I can't get back.  A little girl grew up too fast. All it took was once. I'll never be the same.
    independent_
  • MikeMike 🖥️🎧 LandaanPosts: 3,408 Community Manager
    edited February 16
    Good questions @independent_ :)
    re support circle, say a regular user of that service is 25, turning 26 soon. Would they strictly have to stop using it the week before they turn 26, or is there a bit of flexibility - I ask this because I know the change would be really hard if someone was used to using it regularly.

    This is something we're pretty firm on. Partly it's to make sure people under 25 are prioritised for Support Circle, and also because of the funding point mentioned before.

    The theory is this post should give people a heads up about that transition, so they have as long as they need to prepare for that next stage. The staff team can also help facilitate that transition, if that person would find it useful. For example, we can help find similar spaces elsewhere or work out a gradual 'cutting down' so that person uses that space less over time rather than the change being sudden. :)
    If people over 30 can't send PM's, and someone who has been around for years turns 30, will they not be able to send PM's anymore? Or will that be relaxed because they've been around for a long time? 

    We're a little more flexible on this one. This is primarily for people who join when they're way out of our age range. If you've been here a long time, we trust you and we trust that you understand how to use PMs appropriately. We might disable them if we're concerned, though. :)

    Does that help? @Dancer was more or less right with their answer!
    All behaviour is a need trying to be met.

    Want to join the community champions? Drop @TheMix a message!
    independent_
  • ShaunieShaunie 🌸 Posts: 12,486 Born on Earth, Raised by The Mix
    edited February 17
    This post makes me very sad for some reason ahh. I’m only 22. But still, I joined a few years ago which feels like yesterday so leaving will feel like tomorrow:’(:’(:’(

    So what’s like the oldest you have to stop asking for support. 29? If the user is an old time user does that make any difference lol. Cause coming here when you’re a lot older than everyone else- slightly weird compared to if came here ages ago. “ we've got plenty of active members who turned 25 long ago, but still stick around to help out and chat more generally”. How old are they? When you turn 30 are we like just not allowed to use? I don’t mean for support. I mean can we support others as long as we don’t PM anyone?and like share our good moments like say if got a new job. Like cause as sad as I sound but this place is one of the first places I go to if I’m doing well or something. And like have you ever had someone you share good news with and then when they leave you’re just like well this is all pointless if I have no one to share this with lol. What I quote I think answers this question but want to check.
    .
    Zoya_JungkookJellyelephant
  • MikeMike 🖥️🎧 LandaanPosts: 3,408 Community Manager
    edited February 17
    Time flies, @Shaunie! Glad to have kept you around for this long :star:
    So what’s like the oldest you have to stop asking for support. 29?
    Generally speaking, if you're approaching 30 and actively looking for support on the community, that's when we might drop you a PM to talk about moving on. For anyone currently 25, it might be worth thinking about broadening your support network and gradually reducing your time spent here.
    It's not going to be a black and white thing because there are a lot of factors we might need to consider. For now, we'll be taking it on a case-by-case basis (deciding for each individual). :)
    If the user is an old time user does that make any difference lol. Cause coming here when you’re a lot older than everyone else- slightly weird compared to if came here ages ago.
    Agreed that it's different if someone has been here a long time. :) If someone joins for the first time and they're older, our initial response will be to encourage them to use other services.
    “ we've got plenty of active members who turned 25 long ago, but still stick around to help out and chat more generally”. How old are they?
    It varies quite a bit. We have some folks whose accounts are 10-20 years old, though they stopped using the community regularly and asking for support quite some time ago.
    When you turn 30 are we like just not allowed to use? I don’t mean for support. I mean can we support others as long as we don’t PM anyone? and like share our good moments like say if got a new job. Like cause as sad as I sound but this place is one of the first places I go to if I’m doing well or something. And like have you ever had someone you share good news with and then when they leave you’re just like well this is all pointless if I have no one to share this with lol. What I quote I think answers this question but want to check.
    There will always be a way you can stick around on the community. You'd certainly be welcome to share good news, as well as support others and post in non-support threads. :)
    All behaviour is a need trying to be met.

    Want to join the community champions? Drop @TheMix a message!
  • ShaunieShaunie 🌸 Posts: 12,486 Born on Earth, Raised by The Mix
    Thank you @Mike

    Though I’m kinda hoping by the time I’m like 25 I will have a better life where I have more close people where I will not use this as regular as I’m mostly here cause lonely
    .
    MikeJordanAidan
  • Past UserPast User Posts: 0 Helping Hand
    edited April 4
    Thanks for clearing this up, I’m a wee bit confused though.

    You say circle is for folk under 25, so does this mean they are to stop using circle on their 25th birthday? Because if they kept using to their 26th birthday that would then make it u26s?

    Doesn’t really apply to me, I was just confused when reading through the post & comments :lol:


    Would over 25s be allowed to join as a listener and support folk?
    Aidan
  • AidanAidan Clever idiot Posts: 2,982 Boards Guru
    It'll apply to you in a decade @Liam :lol:

    Write down their answer on your hand so you remember
    but idk tho
    Past User
  • ZenZen Living the Zen life 🧘🏼‍♀️ Posts: 1,946 Extreme Poster
    I just read this again and I'm a little confused about the wording too :sweat_smile:

    The wording on usually says "essential support for under 25s" which to me, reads as anyone up to the age of 24, but the website is available up to 25. I may be wrong but wouldn't it be essential support for 25s and under? Because we're including those aged 25 in that number? - Likewise with U16s chat

    It just got me thinking about the wording :smile:
    Alis propriis volat 
    Past UserAidanindependent_
  • Past UserPast User Posts: 0 Helping Hand
    Hahahah, getting nervous now I’m reaching the big ages @Aidan :lol: hope they still let me in to listen

    6k9l4yu6u6vm.gif


    And glad I’m not the only one confused @Eleanor , thought my brain was still just half asleep :lol:
  • DancerDancer Bog Off Justine! Posts: 5,400 Part of The Furniture
    For under 16's chat, you can join for support until the day before you turn 17 so for Support Circle I think that you can join for support until the day before you turn 26 but not sure about listener spaces.
    I'm a fruit loop. 🍊➰

    There's a part of me I can't get back.  A little girl grew up too fast. All it took was once. I'll never be the same.
  • DancerDancer Bog Off Justine! Posts: 5,400 Part of The Furniture
    I am only 15 so still got a long time of being able to join in but at least I know roughly what is going to happen later on.
    I'm a fruit loop. 🍊➰

    There's a part of me I can't get back.  A little girl grew up too fast. All it took was once. I'll never be the same.
  • DancerDancer Bog Off Justine! Posts: 5,400 Part of The Furniture
    Dancer wrote: »
    For under 16's chat, you can join for support until the day before you turn 17 so for Support Circle I think that you can join for support until the day before you turn 26 but not sure about listener spaces.

    For example, if your 26th birthday is on a Wednesday you can still join Support Circle on the Tuesday because you will still be 25 or under.
    I'm a fruit loop. 🍊➰

    There's a part of me I can't get back.  A little girl grew up too fast. All it took was once. I'll never be the same.
  • DancerDancer Bog Off Justine! Posts: 5,400 Part of The Furniture
    My 26th birthday will be on a Sunday (I checked just because I was curious) so the last support Circle I would be able to join would be on 16th March 2032 (yes a very long time away.)
    I'm a fruit loop. 🍊➰

    There's a part of me I can't get back.  A little girl grew up too fast. All it took was once. I'll never be the same.
  • Past UserPast User Posts: 0 Helping Hand
    edited April 4
    Yeah I get that but that is still u26s and not u25s

    Like, I’m 14 so I’m not under 14 years of age but I am under 15 years of age.
    independent_
  • DancerDancer Bog Off Justine! Posts: 5,400 Part of The Furniture
    Liam wrote: »
    Yeah I get that but that is still u26s and not u25s

    Like, I’m 14 so I’m not under 14 years of age but I am under 15 years of age.

    It can be confusing. I know that for Childline it is for under 19's and you can get support until your 19th birthday. But I think that for The Mix it would be for those who are 25 and under. In the first post @Mike said "Our support needs don't suddenly change on our 26th birthday, and chances are a lot of conversations on the community are relevant to you even though you're just over 25." I think that means that you will be classed as under 25 until the day before you turn 26 as the day after that would be your 26th birthday.
    I'm a fruit loop. 🍊➰

    There's a part of me I can't get back.  A little girl grew up too fast. All it took was once. I'll never be the same.
  • Past UserPast User Posts: 0 Helping Hand
    edited April 4
    I think you’re misunderstanding - I mean specifically support circle

    Mike : “ Some of The Mix's services are funded strictly for Under 25's, such as Support Circle. You won't be able to use those services. If you try to without realising, don't worry - we'll let you know.”

    Mike : “ This is something we're pretty firm on. Partly it's to make sure people under 25 are prioritised for Support Circle, and also because of the funding point mentioned before.”

    What you said about childline makes complete sense to me. If they are funded for u19s, it makes sense to stop using it on your 19th birthday. So if circle is funded for u25s, it makes sense to stop using it on your 25th birthday, no?

    Just confused about wording, I think. :)
    Zenindependent_
  • DancerDancer Bog Off Justine! Posts: 5,400 Part of The Furniture
    Liam wrote: »
    I think you’re misunderstanding - I mean specifically support circle

    Mike : “ Some of The Mix's services are funded strictly for Under 25's, such as Support Circle. You won't be able to use those services. If you try to without realising, don't worry - we'll let you know.”

    Mike : “ This is something we're pretty firm on. Partly it's to make sure people under 25 are prioritised for Support Circle, and also because of the funding point mentioned before.”

    What you said about childline makes complete sense to me. If they are funded for u19s, it makes sense to stop using it on your 19th birthday. So if circle is funded for u25s, it makes sense to stop using it on your 25th birthday, no?

    Just confused about wording, I thinks. :)

    I don't really know for certain but it isn't something that either of us have to worry about yet. ;)
    I'm a fruit loop. 🍊➰

    There's a part of me I can't get back.  A little girl grew up too fast. All it took was once. I'll never be the same.
  • ZenZen Living the Zen life 🧘🏼‍♀️ Posts: 1,946 Extreme Poster
    Yeah Liam!

    My point was more on the wording of it @Dancer like you said, on Childline u19 means before your 19 which makes sense to me but here it includes said number, which is a little confusing.
    Alis propriis volat 
    independent_
  • Past UserPast User Posts: 0 Helping Hand
    Haha @Dancer absolutely not but think it’s important for it to be clear for folk to know what to expect 😄
  • GreenTeaGreenTea ☕🌻☕ MidlandsPosts: 10,899 An Original Mixlorian
    If it was for under 25s, they would of stopped me from using it. I'm 25 and am still able to use support circle and I really appreciate being able to use support circle as I find it extremely helpful and so do many others. I think there should be a process to stopping someone using something instead of just striping them from their support.

    The scars you can't see are the hardest to heal.     

    Astrid Alauda

  • Past UserPast User Posts: 0 Helping Hand
    I hear that and so I suppose what mike said here :

    "The theory is this post should give people a heads up about that transition, so they have as long as they need to prepare for that next stage. The staff team can also help facilitate that transition, if that person would find it useful. For example, we can help find similar spaces elsewhere or work out a gradual 'cutting down' so that person uses that space less over time rather than the change being sudden. :)"

    really applies to you. It can be hard to lose your support but I think like Mike says, generally cutting down should help that transition a lot when you reach the age of no longer being able to use circle.I suppose it isnt the case of stripping you of that support either because there are communities for folk who age out of the mix (side by side for example)

    But again, it's still down to wording which is just a wee bit unclear, or maybe I'm being pedantic :lol:



  • GreenTeaGreenTea ☕🌻☕ MidlandsPosts: 10,899 An Original Mixlorian
    That doesn't apply to me at all, I don't user support circle very often anymore. Only when I'm really struggling. I'm part of others communities and have support in place and have done for a while. Either way I'm just saying I'm 25 and use support circle and nothing has been said about it. I know my time in support circle is coming to an end and I infact don't use support circle very much..

    The scars you can't see are the hardest to heal.     

    Astrid Alauda

    Past User
  • DancerDancer Bog Off Justine! Posts: 5,400 Part of The Furniture
    edited April 4
    GreenTea wrote: »
    If it was for under 25s, they would of stopped me from using it. I'm 25 and am still able to use support circle and I really appreciate being able to use support circle as I find it extremely helpful and so do many others. I think there should be a process to stopping someone using something instead of just striping them from their support.

    Many people do find Support Circle to be helpful but unfortunately all of us have to try and move on someday. You will probably be able to carry on using Support Circle until the session before you turn 26.
    I'm a fruit loop. 🍊➰

    There's a part of me I can't get back.  A little girl grew up too fast. All it took was once. I'll never be the same.
  • GreenTeaGreenTea ☕🌻☕ MidlandsPosts: 10,899 An Original Mixlorian
    edited April 4
    Dancer wrote: »
    GreenTea wrote: »
    If it was for under 25s, they would of stopped me from using it. I'm 25 and am still able to use support circle and I really appreciate being able to use support circle as I find it extremely helpful and so do many others. I think there should be a process to stopping someone using something instead of just striping them from their support.

    Many people do find Support Circle to be helpful but unfortunately all of us have to try and move on someday. You will probably be able to carry on using Support Circle until the session before you turn 26.


    I Know this. I was just making a point that it's never been flagged that I use support circle.

    The scars you can't see are the hardest to heal.     

    Astrid Alauda

  • DancerDancer Bog Off Justine! Posts: 5,400 Part of The Furniture
    GreenTea wrote: »
    That doesn't apply to me at all, I don't user support circle very often anymore. Only when I'm really struggling. I'm part of others communities and have support in place and have done for a while. Either way I'm just saying I'm 25 and use support circle and nothing has been said about it. I know my time in support circle is coming to an end and I infact don't use support circle very much..

    Glad to hear that you have support from other communities as well as using The Mix so it feels like scary and isolating when you do move on. I actually joined The Mix because I wanted to have support for when I turn 19 and age out of being able to use Childline.
    I'm a fruit loop. 🍊➰

    There's a part of me I can't get back.  A little girl grew up too fast. All it took was once. I'll never be the same.
  • Past UserPast User Posts: 0 Helping Hand
    edited April 4
    I didn’t mean the amount you use it, I meant just because you’re creeping towards that age 😊

    It’s good that circle is useful for you and I’m glad you’re a part of other communities. That should help :)

    Edit:

    My question was just about the wording, it’s not clear. That’s all🙂
  • DancerDancer Bog Off Justine! Posts: 5,400 Part of The Furniture
    GreenTea wrote: »
    Dancer wrote: »
    GreenTea wrote: »
    If it was for under 25s, they would of stopped me from using it. I'm 25 and am still able to use support circle and I really appreciate being able to use support circle as I find it extremely helpful and so do many others. I think there should be a process to stopping someone using something instead of just striping them from their support.

    Many people do find Support Circle to be helpful but unfortunately all of us have to try and move on someday. You will probably be able to carry on using Support Circle until the session before you turn 26.


    I Know this. I was just making a point that it's never been flagged that I use support circle.

    I understand that so guessing that the rule for under 25's is that as long as you are 25 or under it is okay.
    I'm a fruit loop. 🍊➰

    There's a part of me I can't get back.  A little girl grew up too fast. All it took was once. I'll never be the same.
  • ZenZen Living the Zen life 🧘🏼‍♀️ Posts: 1,946 Extreme Poster
    GreenTea wrote: »
    Either way I'm just saying I'm 25 and use support circle and nothing has been said about it. I know my time in support circle is coming to an end and I infact don't use support circle very much..

    @GreenTea It's great that you have other places where you can still receive support after your birthday! Obviously I don't know the protocol for when someone ages out of circle but it might just be someone will be in touch a little closer to your bday :) I'm sure if you wanted a hand with the transition The Mix would be happy to help if you messaged them, or some older folks on the boards could help out :)
    Alis propriis volat 
    Past User
  • GreenTeaGreenTea ☕🌻☕ MidlandsPosts: 10,899 An Original Mixlorian
    I feel like I've been misunderstood.
    I'm not looking for help or support to transition. I simply came by to state that you can use support circle at age 25 because I have been and nothing has been said

    The scars you can't see are the hardest to heal.     

    Astrid Alauda

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