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Hurt

SienaSiena Posts: 15,759 Skive's The Limit
in Health & Wellbeing
My ex deleted my off Facebook and my messages don’t send to him. I think cause of his settings. He wasn’t replying to me. I broke up with him. But still could of been friends.  Now I feel really upset
“And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
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  • SienaSiena Posts: 15,759 Skive's The Limit
    Does anyone care. 
    No one ever cares. Just so lonely 
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
  • independent_independent_ Community Champion Posts: 9,221 Supreme Poster
    Hey Shaunie, I care. I'm so sorry to hear you're feeling lonely and that your ex isnt responding anymore. Sometimes a bit of space is good though. Sending big hugs <3 
    “Sometimes the people around you won’t understand your journey. They don’t need to, it’s not for them.”
  • SienaSiena Posts: 15,759 Skive's The Limit
    Thank you. I’m feeling very suicidal. I think might email PD team
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
  • independent_independent_ Community Champion Posts: 9,221 Supreme Poster
    I’m sorry to hear you’re struggling tonight Shaunie, please do reach out for support tonight if you’re feeling unsafe at any point, and we’re here if you want to chat more on the boards too <3 
    “Sometimes the people around you won’t understand your journey. They don’t need to, it’s not for them.”
  • SienaSiena Posts: 15,759 Skive's The Limit
    I just sent the email I hope they can help me. I can’t take this anymore :’(
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
  • independent_independent_ Community Champion Posts: 9,221 Supreme Poster
    When do you think they’ll reply, will it be tomorrow now?

    I really hope they are able to help you too it sounds like you’re having a really hard time right now. Proud of you for taking that step and sending that email, well done <3 
    “Sometimes the people around you won’t understand your journey. They don’t need to, it’s not for them.”
  • SienaSiena Posts: 15,759 Skive's The Limit
    Omg it’s the weekend 😭😭😭
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
  • independent_independent_ Community Champion Posts: 9,221 Supreme Poster
    Oh nooo are they closed at weekends?
    “Sometimes the people around you won’t understand your journey. They don’t need to, it’s not for them.”
  • SienaSiena Posts: 15,759 Skive's The Limit
    edited January 2021
    I’m guessing so. I would text crisis team but the last time I texted them at this time they got back to me in 3 hours. Like wow 
    I’m not in crisis crisis I just feel so fucking awful
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
  • independent_independent_ Community Champion Posts: 9,221 Supreme Poster
    Remember there’s services like shout too, if you just want to have someone to talk to and help you to make sure you stay safe. 
    “Sometimes the people around you won’t understand your journey. They don’t need to, it’s not for them.”
  • Past UserPast User Posts: 1,997 Extreme Poster
    Sorry you're hurting so much Shaunie :(

    Is there anything we can do to help? 

    You're so strong, you'll get through this <3
  • SienaSiena Posts: 15,759 Skive's The Limit
    Thank you Liam and independent
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
  • independent_independent_ Community Champion Posts: 9,221 Supreme Poster
    No problem, I’ll be around for a while if you want to keep chatting here too. I think @Liam is totally right - you will get through this because you’re such a strong person. Even if you don’t see it right now it’s true. 
    “Sometimes the people around you won’t understand your journey. They don’t need to, it’s not for them.”
  • SienaSiena Posts: 15,759 Skive's The Limit
    I’m really struggling with my eating disorder. I just want to eat without guilt. Feels so bad can’t take it. I’m trying soo hard but it’s horrible
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
  • independent_independent_ Community Champion Posts: 9,221 Supreme Poster
    That sounds really difficult. Have you got any support for the ED at the moment?
    “Sometimes the people around you won’t understand your journey. They don’t need to, it’s not for them.”
  • SienaSiena Posts: 15,759 Skive's The Limit
    No. I don’t really want any either cause j don’t want it to be a big thing. I just hoping it goes away again. 

    I have a goal weight and know that’s when it’s getting bad. 
    I’m getting really obsessed over sugar amounts too
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
  • independent_independent_ Community Champion Posts: 9,221 Supreme Poster
    Do you find that you go through periods where your ED is worse than others? 

    I think a lot of the time these things don’t always get better on their own, you get to a point where it gets too much. Seeking support is never a bad thing 
    “Sometimes the people around you won’t understand your journey. They don’t need to, it’s not for them.”
  • SienaSiena Posts: 15,759 Skive's The Limit
    Sometimes gets better on own. But been drinking those drinks that have nutrents. But they’re expensive. Some reason it’s easier eating liquid food rather than hard. I don’t know why. It’s weird
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
  • SienaSiena Posts: 15,759 Skive's The Limit
    Shaunie said:
    I just sent the email I hope they can help me. I can’t take this anymore :’(
    They sent the police to me
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
  • Past UserPast User Posts: 0 Just got here
    Hey Shaunie I’m really sorry you’re in so much pain right now . And really sorry to hear they sent the police. I have no advice but we’re always happy to listen if you ever need anything. you can pm me anytime of you ever need someone to talk to.  <3
  • SienaSiena Posts: 15,759 Skive's The Limit
    Thank you. My sisters was messaging each other after the police went. And I saw notifications come up on my sisters phone. My older sister said “have you seen her arm. It’s disgusting”.  “Trust me you don’t want to, I was nearly sick” 
    😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
  • Past UserPast User Posts: 1,997 Extreme Poster
    That's not cool at all @Shaunie :cry: i'm so sorry.

    We're all SO proud of you here <3
  • Past UserPast User Posts: 0 Just got here
    Shaunie I’m really sorry to hear that. A lot of people don’t understand self harm and struggle to look past it to really see  the person in pain. I’m really sorry they did that. We’re always here Shaunie  <3
  • independent_independent_ Community Champion Posts: 9,221 Supreme Poster
    Oh no @Shaunie I'm sorry to hear your sister said that. It's a really awful thing to say and just shows that some people just don't understand. Sending big hugs <3 
    “Sometimes the people around you won’t understand your journey. They don’t need to, it’s not for them.”
  • SienaSiena Posts: 15,759 Skive's The Limit
    edited January 2021
    Can’t tell if it was a bitchy comment or a concerned one:’( but I don’t want my arm to be “disgusting”
    but thank yous 
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
  • SienaSiena Posts: 15,759 Skive's The Limit
    I think my sister was crying but I couldn’t tell properly as she left the room:/
    omg I feel so bad
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 77 Budding Regular
    oh no! @Shaunie is she crying about you seeing her phone? or a separate thing? hope she’s okay and hope you’re okay too! you going to get some rest tonight?x
  • SienaSiena Posts: 15,759 Skive's The Limit
    I think because of the police coming. 

    Yeah will get some rest. The mental health team are supposed to be ringing me tomorrow 
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
  • Past UserPast User Posts: 0 Just got here
    Big hugs @Shaunie hope you managed to get some rest. 

    It’s certainly nothing you should feel bad about. If you’d had a bad accident and the emergency services were called you wouldn’t be to blame if they got upset. You have nothing to feel bad about. Sorry if this came across rude. Big hugs Shaunie we’re always here  <3
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 77 Budding Regular
    Completely agree, maybe it’s hard for your sister to see you struggle but there’s no reason for you to feel guilty @Shaunie . What matters is that you get the support that’s right for you.

    Hope you’re doing okay! Good luck with the mh team call today - hope it’s helpful x
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