Advice for inviting someone to stay

Former Member

I don't even know if I will still want to at a later date but something I was thinking of was when it became possible to have a friend I know through online stuff stay over. I live with my parents though so I will have to tell them. And idk how to tell them, how much to tell and so on. I know again that person is safe but my parents might want to know that, but otherwise who they are? And stuff. Idk how to talk about things like that really. I think they might be okay with it but idk kinda too scared to say anything. It would help if anyone had similar experiences or any advice at all of any sorts dealing with friends, parents etc. 

I was told already by someone that since I am supposedly a certain age it is easy and I can do that or easily rent a room.
Which is a little off putting since I don't see why people should always use your age to judge how  mentally prepared you are to do something. Especially if you haven't done it before. I haven't done something then the first time is always hard. I ofc know how to get a room blah blah but thats not the problem. I know plenty of people who have parents that allow everyone to stay around a lot and while thats not my parents this is not something I plan to do often and I plan to be careful and not mess up stuff, respect everything etc. And they are not that kinda person who would either. 

I still want to tell my parents if I can rather than rush out leave and hide everything single thing I can. Of course eventually I want to move out (even though my dad said whats the point lol) but atm I still want to try and invite someone over especially since I wanted to show them this area I am in now and also that it is better for them to stay anywaybdue to the distance travelling.  And i just would like them to stay with me.

But I am considering renting a room instead but still in that case I would want to tell my parents too or at least something of an excuse if nothing else because I can't just go out missing for a day or two and Id probably want to stay with my friend. Although another option is that they just stay on their own a night somewhere but yeah. It is more money and effort though but maybe I can get a cheap room somewhere. I still need to discuss possibly both. 

And I dunno I struggle to talk about things generally with my parents that are serious at all. I don't usually ask for much and if I don't ask I don't know. I'm just very scared idk what to do. I am a little uncomfortable talking about personal things but im sure I can say something just not familar. I hardly invited many people around to the house in the first place. Or had experience on going holiday with friends etc. And since its an online friend idk if they judge and they dunno i met them b4. And idk if i wanna tell them how i met them etc. 
Like even talking about this friend existing is a struggle for me then inviting them is another step. I dunno it just seems strange.  I often feel like im not allowed to do certain things but i probably can and just scared.

I might make a similar post again also when it comes to the time if it does cuz i dunno how long this pandemic lasts i'm still just mulling stuff atm and ya know I guess I just have the time to think about things now. 

independent_

Just to clarify, what is your relationship to this friend exactly? I’m guessing by your use of the word ‘friend’ you mean a platonic friend, and not a romantic relationship?

In either case I think communication with your parents is really important. Maybe you could write down what you’d like to say to them? I know that my parents would probably want to meet someone first before they stayed at the house, for example have them round for tea etc, it’s really difficult to start that conversation I know but the best thing to do is just discuss it as adults and ask what their expectations are.

Former Member

independent_ said:

Just to clarify, what is your relationship to this friend exactly? I’m guessing by your use of the word ‘friend’ you mean a platonic friend, and not a romantic relationship?

In either case I think communication with your parents is really important. Maybe you could write down what you’d like to say to them? I know that my parents would probably want to meet someone first before they stayed at the house, for example have them round for tea etc, it’s really difficult to start that conversation I know but the best thing to do is just discuss it as adults and ask what their expectations are.

We are "just friends" but ngl its a bit complicated so I wouldn't say I don't have feelings for them at all which is all bad I know, but I still want them over regardless, and like its same sex so yeah.. there isn't relationship. We are more just very close. I don't want to tell that all to my parents ofc. 

So yeah I do have doubts if having them over is the right thing or what to say about that and I am starting to lean to the get a room option. I have a feeling my dad would likely rather have me at home though so he can check in here and there and it is still in a way easier than locating rooms. And might question why id want to be in another room though (I could insist ofc). 
Im not gonna be doing weird stuff soo yeah, i pretty much want to see them and meet them mainly the staying over is more extra and the fact that the slightly long ish distance makes it better they stay and Id rather stay with them have more time together. 

Yea I get that my parents might want to meet them but it's kinda hard with everything I guess i could tshow my parents a photo but i'm scared for some reason my dad be like that person is ugly oof. I dunno. 
Yeah maybe I can write something down though.
I'm just not very good at talking and i really struggle to articulate things like this. I thought about telling how I played games with this person and that maybe now I think of it also that I drew some pictures with them. That kinda thing. I might just say something along the lines of they want to visit and something that it would be nice if to meet. But I also feel like it might be strange to mention that I have online friends without ever hinting at it so idk, then again it's my own privacy I guess :P I guess my uncertainty doesnt really help. It yeah as you say hard to start talking about it. I still have a long time to think about it because of restricitions so yeahh. And yeah true I need to determine what their expectations are with staying over and things like that. Parents vary a lot in that I guess I know some parents who let everyone stay round regardless, some who don't but still allow like someone here and there as long as respectful and that, some who are much more strict.
I think yea my dad at least understands im older now and more responsible. Even though im scared some reason how he react but i doubt it be bad, i just dun wanna say the wrong thing I guess.

Sorry if this is all weird xP and thanks