If you need urgent support, call 999 or go to your nearest A&E. To contact our Crisis Messenger (open 24/7) text THEMIX to 85258.
Read the community guidelines before posting ✨
Options
absent
BubblesGoesBoo
Posts: 3,590 Community Veteran
so this is gonna be a quick post cause just now my concentration has gone to shit... just wanted to explain a bit about why ive been absent the last month or so and maybe look for some advice on what my next steps are...
basically I lost a friend to suicide, couldn't go to her funeral cause of covid, and on the day of her funeral I found out everyone where I work is being made redundant, I couldn't cope and ended up in hospital, it's also coming up to the anniversary of my trauma which I am not coping well with, my suicidal thoughts have been through the roof and Ive spent the majority of the last week in bed, I was working til last Wednesday, where me and management came to the agreement I would go on furlough to focus on my health more, and it wasn't fair me letting down my team when theres only 4 of us working by ending up in hospital/having breakdowns.
im trying my best to stay safe and out of hospital but it's becoming harder and harder, I thought being of work would give me time to recover but it's just giving me more time to think and im not sure what to do... my team have put more support in place for me but it's still limited due to covid.
anyway that's all I have to energy to write, i'll try be more active on the boards but don't know how that will go just now... im trying to stay positive but it's hard...
basically I lost a friend to suicide, couldn't go to her funeral cause of covid, and on the day of her funeral I found out everyone where I work is being made redundant, I couldn't cope and ended up in hospital, it's also coming up to the anniversary of my trauma which I am not coping well with, my suicidal thoughts have been through the roof and Ive spent the majority of the last week in bed, I was working til last Wednesday, where me and management came to the agreement I would go on furlough to focus on my health more, and it wasn't fair me letting down my team when theres only 4 of us working by ending up in hospital/having breakdowns.
im trying my best to stay safe and out of hospital but it's becoming harder and harder, I thought being of work would give me time to recover but it's just giving me more time to think and im not sure what to do... my team have put more support in place for me but it's still limited due to covid.
anyway that's all I have to energy to write, i'll try be more active on the boards but don't know how that will go just now... im trying to stay positive but it's hard...
' So I put a bullet where I shouda put a helmet, and I crash my car cause I wanna get carried away, that's why I'm standing on the overpass screaming at myself 'hey, I wanna get better''
3
Comments
So sorry to hear about whats been happening for you, it's really positive that you've started this thread, and we are all here for you
Its great to have you back, you are a very valued member of this community
We are here for you if you need space to talk more and get advice
Sending hugs
" So I say thank you for the music, the songs I'm singing, thanks for all the joy they're bringing, who can live without it, I ask in all honestly what would life be? Without a song or a dance, what are we? So I say thank you for the music, for giving it to me "
'' It's a beautiful day and I can't stop myself from smiling "
I'm super sorry to hear about everything that has been going on for you. Sending huge hugs and strength to you
Any way at all that you think you would like to be supported, please do let us know. If you want a space to let out your thoughts, somebody to listen, somebody to talk to, we will be right here
I also just wanted to share this page with you about coping with grief and bereavement. It has some links to further support too, I wondered if they may be helpful. x
I'm sorry that all this is happening. That's so so much for you to process right now, I think it's okay to not be okay for a while. Try not to put too much pressure on yourself to be okay because that's so much, especially atm with the covid situation. It's okay to have bad days, it's okay to cry, it's okay to need to stay in bed a bit longer or skip a meal if you have to. Just take each moment as it comes and do what you need to do for the right now.
You will get through this and we're all here to support you. Sending love
Honestly i'm still struggling majorly and with my birthday being over now I have nothing to look forward too which is hard. I'm moving away soon and heartbroken about having to leave my nephew. Urges have been so strong but I've just about managed to work through them. trying to keep myself distracted but that doesn't seem to be working. it's not an if, it's more of a when now and that scares me...