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Is live really blind?

One-in-a-millionOne-in-a-million Posts: 483 Rampant Poster
Is love really blind? Do looks actually matter am I being shallow? These are really hard questions I’m asking myself. Ok so I haven’t had much luck with dating they either think to highly of themselves, sex crazy or just very disrespectful. There was one guy who was just like “if we are in a relationship I would worship you, you’ll never have to pay for anything, I’d do everything you want ect” I found that very creepy!!

so amongst these guys is a guy named Craig. He is seriously the most amazing person I could think of, he’s respectful, he’s funny He wants me to be happy and always makes me laughing, but.. and I feel like a awful person I am not physically attracted to him. We met on a dating site and went on a few dates, so I suggested we stay friends, he was a little upset but wanted to be friends and still he is that amazing person, making me laugh and smile one time I was having a bad time, he messaged me and asked what was wrong, then offered to take me for a coffee so he could try and make me smile and added on (as friends) so I didn’t think he was trying anything.

 I feel so horrible here I am talking to this amazing guy and yet I’m stopped from being in love with him because I’m not physically attracted to him. 

It’s like I love him but not in love with him and I hate myself for that.

Comments

  • coc0maccoc0mac Posts: 306 Rampant Poster
    Hi @One-in-a-million

    You are not an awful person for not being physically attracted to him :smile:

    Whilst looks really aren't everything, I do believe they are still somewhat important and play a part in someway. So it's very normal that you might prefer this as a friendship - it's not your fault at all :heart: Sometimes people can fall in love with a person and then actually the more the fall, the more attractive that person becomes in their eyes. Other times this physical attraction just isn't there - and that's okay. Just try and remember not to pressure yourself to feel any certain ways, it is absolutely okay to feel the way you feel. Take care :heart:
    Mike
  • Han93Han93 EnglandPosts: 203 The Mix convert
    Hi @One-in-a-million

    I just wanted to echo what @coc0mac said, you are not an awful person at all. I think part of what sets friends apart from possible boyfriends/girlfriends is physical attraction.

    Just think of it in this way - you've both made a great new friend in each other :)
    coc0mac
  • AzzimanAzziman The Mix convert Posts: 633 Extreme Poster
    Hey :)

    For some people physical attraction means a lot, for others not so much. No need to be ashamed of what you find attractive, as it's important! Love who you want to lovex

    Much love <3
  • MikeMike Hummus-Fuelled Whovian LondonPosts: 2,134 Staff Moderator
    coc0mac said:
    Sometimes people can fall in love with a person and then actually the more the fall, the more attractive that person becomes in their eyes. Other times this physical attraction just isn't there - and that's okay. Just try and remember not to pressure yourself to feel any certain ways, it is absolutely okay to feel the way you feel. Take care :heart:

    Totally agree with this ^ :)

    Sexual chemistry is often a big part of what people need from a relationship, and it's okay if that's just not something you're feeling. Equally like @coc0mac said I've gotten to know someone before and become more and more attracted to them over time. It's a funny old thing sometimes!

    And like @Han93 touched on, often these things are what separate friends from more than friends. No harm in becoming good friends and then seeing if something more develops later. :)
    All behaviour is a need trying to be met.

    Avatar credit: Tracie Andrews
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