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Is attraction important in relationships?

Former MemberFormer Member Deactivated Posts: 1,646 Extreme Poster
in Politics & Debate
A friend came to me asked me for some advice, she confessed to me that she loved her boyfriend dearly but she just wasn't attracted to him. She told me that she felt bad and confessed to her boyfriend and out these feelings in order to find a way round. She didn't want to give up on the relationship just because of the lack of attraction but it did leave me wondering...

How important is attraction in relationships and what are your thoughts on the matter? 

Comments

  • SienaSiena Posts: 15,681 Skive's The Limit
    edited August 2019
    Yeah. I think it is important. You mean physically attractive? Otherwise it could just feel like you’re friends. I think Attraction does grow a bit as you get to know people. Like a good personality could make them good looking. Like same with bad personality just makes them actually look physically unattractive.
    But then yeah I get sometimes just don't find physically attractive then I think that's quite an important thing. Like they don't have to be like the best looking person you've ever seen but I think you need some physical attraction there otherwise that could make sexual thing and affection harder. Like we all have different views on who we see as attractive & unattractive and I'd just kinda find it hard imagine being affectionate and all that if I personally found them unattractive. 
    While I think people probably make the relationships work. And that I think, someone's personality is way more of a factor than looks I still think I wouldn't have a relationship if they wasn't attractive and harder to have attraction/ that connection that would feel more like a friend.
    And it's a lot about how much how the actual person sees it as a problem 
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
  • independent_independent_ Community Champion Posts: 9,030 Supreme Poster
    I think it is quite important yes, but as Shaunie said it can definitely grow over time if the person has a good personality and you have a good relationship. 

    Without good attraction and chemistry, intimacy is more difficult and (to me at least) that’s an important part of a relationship too. 

    I definitely go for personality over looks but having an attraction there is important in the long-term. 
    “Sometimes the people around you won’t understand your journey. They don’t need to, it’s not for them.”
  • AzzimanAzziman Moderator, Community Champion Posts: 2,073 Boards Champion
    Hey :)

    Yep, it's important! But it depends on what kind of attraction. Typically, the start of a relationship will be based on physical attraction, and move to emotional attraction over time. But being attracted to your partner in some way is important, I'd think :)

    Much love <3
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  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 287 The Mix Regular
    Hey!

    As mentioned above it depends on the type of attraction. But I think both types are important, emotional attraction is usually the root of the relationship. I find the physical attraction helps people stay together because they don't feel like somethings missing and don't stray from their relationship. 
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