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VO5 Summer of Love Series: How to maintain friendships whilst in a relationship?

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,054 Wise Owl
edited June 2019 in Sex & Relationships
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Hello! 

The Mix has partnered with VO5 to create a series of discussion threads over the next few months. This is our first thread and we'd love to hear your thoughts on this week's theme - friendships. 

The summer of love is upon us again. This has got me thinking about what it is like to get into a relationship. Relationships can be really exciting, but sometimes people might find it difficult to balance this excitement whilst maintaining their friendships at the same time.

When I first got into my relationship this was a worry of mine, however we decided to set a couple of days a week that my boyfriend and I would see each other. That way I could easily allocate time for him, time for my friends and time for myself. However I know lots of people manage this in lots of of different ways.

So I was wondering, how do you think people can best maintain friendships whilst in a relationship?



Post edited by Aoife on
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Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 59 Boards Initiate
    Yesss im soo excited love island has started again! 

    And I love this discussion idea! I feel this is a challenge that all new relationships face. It was something I definitely struggled with at the start of my relationship because i wanted to put all my time and effort in to this new person but at the same time missed the time i spent with my friends. One of the ways i overcame this was to adopt the same method as you and have days where i would see my boyfriend, my friends and my family. 

    As well as that, because my friends group is boys and girls, when we would all do things together i would invite my boyfriend, which meant i could spend time with both my friends and my boyfriend which has been great because now my boyfriend is also friends with them too. 

    Also if both my boyfriend and friend are trying to make plans for the same day, i always stick by the plans i make first, rather than agreeing to both and trying to please both/ not disappointed one of them. I find that its best just to be really open about your plans to both. 
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,054 Wise Owl
    edited September 18
    @Past User It's a great time of year haha! 

    I completely understand what you mean, it's complicated but it really can work. I love that you got to socialise with friends and boyfriend at the same time, that's a really good way for everyone to get to know each other. 

    And your rule about first plans sounds great! That's very fair and makes sure nobody feels prioritised/left out. That's all great advice, thank you for sharing :smile:
    Post edited by TheMix on
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 487 Listening Ear
    edited September 18
    Love this thread idea!

    Totally agree with @Past User about inviting your partner along to group events. Whenever I get into a new relationship, I always try and make sure to give my friends and my partner the opportunity to get to know each other.

    I think it's important to make your life as full as possible, so that you have other things to focus on as well as your relationships e.g. taking up niche hobbies, getting comfortable doing things alone, getting a pet etc. 
    Post edited by TheMix on
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,054 Wise Owl
    edited September 18
    That is so true @Past User! Being your own person is so important, and if you can work on that it should be easy to balance all sorts of relationships - really great point :smile:
    Post edited by TheMix on
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 309 The Mix Regular
    Hiya,

    Loving this thread and I think all your comments are really useful ideas! I definitely agree with introducing your boyfriend to your friends and inviting them out together - I think it stops the feeling that everyones competing for your attention.

    I also think making plans with your friends on your own is important too. Me and my boyfriend have a rule that when we're with friends we won't be texting/calling each other unless we need to. That way we are giving our friends our full attention and they know they're our priority for the day.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,054 Wise Owl
    edited September 18
    @Past User thank you for joining the conversation! that's really important advice too - everybody should remain priorities! really great idea thanks for sharing :smile:
    Post edited by TheMix on
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 88 Budding Regular
    Hey,

    I love this thread idea @coc0mac

    I think this is a really relevant issue for so many of us especially when a relationship is new and all you want to do is spend time with that person! However, I would agree that it is super important to prioritise spending time with all the people that you care about, not just one!

    I think that it needs to be considered that although you hope it works out with that relationship, it may not and you still need people around you to support you in that case. I know of people who have pushed their friends away during a relationship and following this they have broken up with their partner and were left struggling due to a lack of support. 

    Therefore, balance is key!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,054 Wise Owl
    Hi @alice123
    Thank you so much! I completely agree, balance is so so important! Really great tips :smile:
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