"She's not your mum, I am!"

Former Member

I have a few family members and friends of the family who always have great ideas and have my back. So it really ires me when parents step in and go "Never mind what they say, I'm your mum/dad" or "Don't share all your problems with them, were your parents". Im an adult now for Lord's sake, I have every right to have other adult friends and follow other people. my annoying parents dont own me whether they raised me or not, after all I never chose them as parents. I so hate the Asian tradition of children being in the responsibility of parents until married (especially as I don't ever want to get married) so we have to tell them everything that happens to us and they can still order us about whether we like it or not. Like my aunts and grandparents spoil me rotten and never tell me off for anything unlike my parents who are harsh about every unintentional thing and always say no and set conditions and boundaries and punishments. They don't respect my boundaries. I hate hearing that they only want what's best and know me best. It's not the best if you upsets me. And they may know me all too well but they certainly won't understand me like my friends do.

I'm particularly friends with someone whos old enough to be my mum and was originally my own mums friend. I would never tell my mum in a million years I'm friends with her in case she thinks I'm stealing her friend by getting her on my side and replacing her as a mother figure.

Former Member

Hey @Past User

It sounds really tough for you at the moment with your parents. I think it's really good that you have other friends/family to rely on when you want different advice and support! Do you get to see your other family much? 

- Lucy

Former Member

Nope, they live miles abroad so we only see them every once in two years cuz we often can't afford it :S

Former Member

I'm not only concerned on how this affects me, but how it's an issue in other families in general. Parental and family behaviour in society just ought to change!

Former Member

I'm not only concerned on how this affects me, but how it's an issue in other families in general. Parental and family behaviour in society just ought to change!

Former Member

Hey there @Past User

It sounds like things at home are pretty tense for you. Have you tried sitting down with your parents to explain your boundaries and why their concerns sometimes feel like interfering? It's great that you have other adults in your life to talk to, but I wonder if maybe your parents just need a nudge in the right direction to start treating you the way you want to be treated.