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Can I ask you guys a Question ?

Millie2787Millie2787 Community Champion Posts: 5,202 Part of The Furniture
in General Chat
Hi Guys,
bare with me with this one it might be abit long 😊

In my local area with have a NHS youth board where it gives  myself and other young people a chance to have our voice heard, take part in meetings and projects and we have even influenced change within the local , countywide and somtimes Nationwide.

on the 10th October it will be world mental health day and this year my local NHS have decided to launch the Time2Talk campgain on the 7th October to co-incide with world mental health day.
This is a year long initiative that will focus on breaking down the barriers and stigmas around by mental health and helping people in my county understand what services there are for them.

This year we are particularly interested in  Male mental health and why it’s so difficult for them to talk and come forward and we want to break down that stigma for them and for everyone.

As part of our  youth board we are becoming involved with this project and have been asked to ask this question to people and feedback the responses in our next meeting at the end of October.

”Why do you think men find it difficult to talk about there mental health “

If It’s  ok with you I would like to feedback the responses in our next meeting . No names or where I got them from will be shared with the group so annominity will be kept at all times .
If you wouldn’t like your response shared in the next up please do let me know in your comment

I hope this is ok with you all 

Aimee 
❤️
Sometimes all you need is one person to believe in you , for you to begin to believe in yourself.

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Fruit loop Deactivated Posts: 2,762 Boards Guru
    Hiya :)

    I'm not a male myself so don't want to speak like I am but I think the main concern is how it will make them look.

    We all know gender stereotypes and how men how to be tough,  don't let anyone know how you're feeling ect.

    Its very much still a thing,  everyday we hear "oh man up!" and similar things which can actually be rather toxic.

    Another is how they're just not that talkative about things in regarda to themselves. 
    I don't mean it's a guy thing because I don't either but some just prefer to not talk about these things and find other means of relief ect. 

    I don't know my brain isn't working all that much but I hope I offered something.

    It's a really lovely thing you're doing!  :)
  • Millie2787Millie2787 Community Champion Posts: 5,202 Part of The Furniture
    edited September 18
    Laine said:
    Hiya :)

    I'm not a male myself so don't want to speak like I am but I think the main concern is how it will make them look.

    We all know gender stereotypes and how men how to be tough,  don't let anyone know how you're feeling ect.

    Its very much still a thing,  everyday we hear "oh man up!" and similar things which can actually be rather toxic.

    Another is how they're just not that talkative about things in regarda to themselves. 
    I don't mean it's a guy thing because I don't either but some just prefer to not talk about these things and find other means of relief ect. 

    I don't know my brain isn't working all that much but I hope I offered something.

    It's a really lovely thing you're doing!  :)
    Thank you @laine - are you ok me for me to share this in my next meeting - Your named won’t be shared ? 

    Dont worry about not being Male it’s good to have a perspective on both side and your right from a early age we say “good boy for not crying , “be a good boy and don’t cry “ etc etc 
    Post edited by TheMix on
    Sometimes all you need is one person to believe in you , for you to begin to believe in yourself.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Fruit loop Deactivated Posts: 2,762 Boards Guru
    Yeah I'm happy to,  hope it helps :)
  • Millie2787Millie2787 Community Champion Posts: 5,202 Part of The Furniture
    Laine said:
    Yeah I'm happy to,  hope it helps :)
    Thank you so much 😊 
    Sometimes all you need is one person to believe in you , for you to begin to believe in yourself.
  • SienaSiena Posts: 15,687 Skive's The Limit
    I am female so can only give opinions. But i think some things can be said for any gender - for fear of being seen as weak and that they have to handle it by themselves and not pass their problem to anyone else and have to be stronger to deal with it. But can imagine the “man up “ sayings can add to the weakness view for males. 

    And also fear of not being understood properly as some dont believe in mental health as a real illness. When it definetly is
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
  • Millie2787Millie2787 Community Champion Posts: 5,202 Part of The Furniture
    @Shaunie @Aidan thank you so much for these and please be rest assured that anominimty will be kept :)
    Sometimes all you need is one person to believe in you , for you to begin to believe in yourself.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 18 Settling in
    Aidan said:
    I'm male so I hope I can give a bit of insight with my experiences.

    Men don't seek help as often as women do for mental health issues, even though they are just as likely to have them, and many times more likely to successfully end their life than a woman.

    I didn't seek help for a long time mainly due to thinking it was usual to feel the way I felt because I hadn't talked to someone about my feelings- that's a very male thing I find, but also because of the suppression everyone goes through during school. My individuality and my voice were crushed during school by unfeeling peers and out-of-touch teachers and there was no way I could say anything, and the story sadly is the same for most people in most schools.

    I was very arrogant as well, convinced I was fine and unwilling to get help because it showed weakness. In the end, my arrogance is what actually helped me- my experience of counselling was that it was patronising and "filler" before I could get actual help, but actual help never came so I faked being fine, the counselling stopped and I helped myself in my own time instead.

    In the end it was myself, and not anyone else, that helped me. And I suspect most men feel that there isn't an issue they can't tackle themselves including mental ones.

    There's still much improvement to be made in terms of how those who have had a mental health issue are treated, for example education may be missed and this will have to be paid for when retaken as an adult after treatment, jobs aren't accomodating, and most mental issues even when treated make someone exempt from military service for life, especially when self harm is involved. I lost many friends through my recovery. These are a few examples, and more reason men don't come out with their mental health problems.

    Tl;dr

    Men:
    1) don't talk about their feelings
    2) are suppressed in school/college as are women
    3) are less likely to admit a problem
    4) are less likely to acknowledge a problem
    5) tend to think they can solve their own problems alone
    6) don't find current counselling techniques useful because of reasons 1, 3, 4 and 5
    7) are discriminated against for having had a mental health issue

    I am okay with this being shared, as long as it is used in context and anonymity is respected. I hope this has helped (:

    Aidan
    i hope youre okay and i have mentalhealth issues and nobody is giving me the help i need either 
    and nobody can solve there own problem we all need help in life no matter what gender
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