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do i have a personality disorder?

olivia_reidolivia_reid Posts: 7 Newbie
edited June 2018 in Health & Wellbeing
im 15 and have been diagnosed with major depression since i was 13. every time i see my psych he always says this is part of being a teenager but im the only one i know who does this (ive asked). I constantly have mood swings that can last for hours and then change in under a second. I snap constantly and cant go a day without my mood drastically changing into something bad. Im not a bad person i know im not but im acting like one. I cant be in a relationship with anyone (SO, friends, family) without it being abusive/destructive. Im hard on everyone and when its happening im aware that im doing something mean and wrong but i cant stop. I want to be better but i cant stop and this wasnt there with my original diagnosis. At least, not this bad. Its gotten worse and keeps happening. Ive been on stable medication for over a year and this started about seven months ago. I cant figure it out and im losing everyone. What is wrong with me?
shinelle1999Mama_U

Comments

  • RayofhopeRayofhope Posts: 152 Boards Initiate
    Hi,

    Sorry to here how you are feeling this sounds really hard. It’s great that you know your not a bad person which you aren’t. 

    You spoke about seeing a psych have you seen any other doctors? They may be able to give you a different view which might help you understand how your feeling. 

    Well done for reaching out on the boards do you have family which you are able to talk to about how your feeling and that your finding this hard.

    Hope to here from you soon.
    Rayofhope 
    Life doesn’t require we be the best, only that we try our best
  • AuroraAurora Part of the furniture Posts: 11,720 An Original Mixlorian
    Hey Olivia, 

    Welcome to the message boards, it sounds like you've got an awful lot on your shoulders at the moment, I'm afraid we can't offer you a diagnosis. The issue with diagnosing a personality disorder is, it can't be diagnosed til you've hit 18, they RARELY diagnose it in those 18 and under, just because Psychology believes that your personality is still changing til 18. But then again, if you can get the diagnosis of a personality disorder earlier, you would recieve the support you needed earlier, before it becomes to late, it's a bit of a grey area. 

    I just want to reassure you that their is absolutely nothing wrong with you whatsoever, mental health is a hard barrier and psychiatrics don't take diagnosing lightly, have you spoke to psych about ways to manage your emotions? For example Mindfulness, when I was 15, I did a round of DBT, which really helped me and supported me in brinigng me back to now, when I was in the wrong state of mind or my head had went elsewhere. 

    How are you finding your medication? I was absolutely awful with taking medication, and found I'd often stop and start again, which didn't help, it was adjusted quite a bit before I found the right dose and the right medication, I'm currently on Venlafaxine, which I've found to stabalise me more than any other  medication had. 

    Anyway, Keep us updated on whats going on for Olivia, and remember you can always reach out to us. I was in similar shoes to you when I was 13, and I know it's a lot easier said than done, but keep your friends close, I know it's easy to push them away, but I allowed myself to loose everyone and became dependent on my support team. Try and talk to your friends, explain what's going on, you're not alone in this. 

    I do hope you start recieving the right support soon, 

    Best wishes, 
    Aurora 
  • olivia_reidolivia_reid Posts: 7 Newbie
    I dont have close family. Im not close with anyone in my family due to past problems. And ive spoken about this to everyone in my life and no one can even start to make me feel better or even understood. All i think is that its destroying others because they have to put up with my mental health. 
    Mama_U
  • shinelle1999shinelle1999 Posts: 1 Literally just got here
    Hey 
    it sound sounds as though you find it really difficult to deal with these mood swings. It also sounds as though you may have Emotionally unstable personality disorder. I was diagnosed this when I was nearly 17. I get constant mood swings, when I’m angry I’m fuming with outbursts, sometimes I become really emotional and can’t control crying. When you suffer from EUPD, you do have relationship difficulties. A lot. You often feel like you can’t trust people. You do a lot of self destructive things, you have attachment problems where you get attached to people you like. Or you can have problems bonding with people or have fear of being abandoned. And I felt exactly how you feel. I always thought “there’s something weird about me and that I’m not normal”. But everything here is completely normal and EUPD is a very unique diagnosis. 

    To get this diagnosis you have to have at least 5  symptoms which have lasted over a year:

    relationship difficulties 
    fear of abandonment 
    mood swings and finding hard to manage emotions
    feleing empty a lot of time and not being able to identify thoughts and why your in a bad mood
    and sometimes drugs and alcohol abuse. There are more symptoms to this diagnosis but I had nearly all of them. 

    Mama_U
  • Mama_UMama_U EnglandPosts: 30 Boards Initiate
    im 15 and have been diagnosed with major depression since i was 13. every time i see my psych he always says this is part of being a teenager but im the only one i know who does this (ive asked). I constantly have mood swings that can last for hours and then change in under a second. I snap constantly and cant go a day without my mood drastically changing into something bad. Im not a bad person i know im not but im acting like one. I cant be in a relationship with anyone (SO, friends, family) without it being abusive/destructive. Im hard on everyone and when its happening im aware that im doing something mean and wrong but i cant stop. I want to be better but i cant stop and this wasnt there with my original diagnosis. At least, not this bad. Its gotten worse and keeps happening. Ive been on stable medication for over a year and this started about seven months ago. I cant figure it out and im losing everyone. What is wrong with me?
    You are defo not a bad person and its good that u believe yourself that ur not bad. I kinda know it feels like the worlds against you but i'm sure theres at least one person to talk to, you've just got to find them. Maybe u could use this site. Whenever ur angry type ANYTHING u want no ones judging. Try using a stress-ball to. I know its weird but whenever i squeeze the crap out of my spongebob stress ball i actually feel alot better.

    p.s. i'm 15 and if u do get a stress-ball get a spongebob one  :) 
  • ld98ld98 NottinghamPosts: 5 Newbie
    Hey, I'm a little bit late but still.

    Have you asked about the newer symptoms with your psychiatrist? Have you researched the symptoms for personality disorders? Also, have you considered that maybe you're experiencing some side-effects from the medication you're taking for your depression, as they started a few months after you started taking the medication?

    Don't worry yourself too much and get mad at yourself for these things. You understand that you're doing things wrong and that's the first step to changing. Continue to examine your behaviour and note when certain things are happening, i.e. you get mad at people when... the things that can make me have a down day are... and use your findings to improve yourself.

    Wishing the best of luck with everything.
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